cottom Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Im a young guy, early 20's and whenever i talk to a girl i find they also have 10 other guys hitting on them and it kind of puts me off, so i back off and stop talking to the girl. EVERYTIME i talk to a girl they have a lot of other guys all hitting on them and it really is off putting, mainly because ive come to realise, there is always someone that will be better than you out there so why try and compete against them?? The last girl i met and talked too with was my ex 3 months ago...the girl before her was an ex and the girl before her was an ex...other than that ive never met a girl and even hugged. All these girls when i was with them had a load of other guys hitting on them 24/7 and they all met my replacement by talking to them while with me. I just dont want to go through that again.
Rob2183 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Dude trust me I know what you're feeling I'm 25 and it's the same deal my motto is if you're talking to one girl she's talking to three other guys regardless that's my mindset. Today it's all about setting yourself apart from the next guy to get the girl but lost of the time being nice and treating the girl right is actually the wrong thing. Most girls want *******s it's terrible but it's the truth . Hope this helps ....help with my situation link below?? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/373389-wait-her-move
SmileFace Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Try dating when you aren't so insecure. Do you not apply for a job because it will have other applicants?
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Try dating when you aren't so insecure. Do you not apply for a job because it will have other applicants? Way to be cruel. Any more mean spirited advice? OP - "Hi, I'm struggling with dating because I'm insecure"... SF - "Hold still so I can kick you in the balls... it makes me feel good to bully people with insecurities"
Sun Devil Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 This is why you must google search how to sabotage another persons relationship. Face it, nice guys finish last. You must adopt and become successful, or refuse change and continue to fail.
Fatdrifter Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 It's hard for a girl to love a guy when her entire world loves her.
KungFuJoe Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Your problem is your thought process. You think that because 10 other guys are hitting on her (which is very doubtful, but I'll humor you for the sake of this thread) that you're at the bottom of that list. You gotta go in thinking you're the best thing there is for her. But easier said than done. You need to work on your own self worth if you want your dating life to improve. I'll tell you I NEVER felt that a woman would have to "settle" for me, even when I was a dateless loser in high school. I always felt a woman had to EARN my love and affection. 1
KungFuJoe Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 This is why you must google search how to sabotage another persons relationship. Face it, nice guys finish last. You must adopt and become successful, or refuse change and continue to fail. Worst advice ever. If you can't even get a SINGLE girl what makes you think you're gonna get someone who already has someone???
aeren944 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Way to be cruel. Any more mean spirited advice? OP - "Hi, I'm struggling with dating because I'm insecure"... SF - "Hold still so I can kick you in the balls... it makes me feel good to bully people with insecurities" It may be cruel, but it's the truth. Insecurities are the wrong things to focus on. You need to think you're at the top of that list, not the bottom.
e40 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Way to be cruel. Any more mean spirited advice? OP - "Hi, I'm struggling with dating because I'm insecure"... SF - "Hold still so I can kick you in the balls... it makes me feel good to bully people with insecurities" That's the way it is.
Sun Devil Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 If all of the girls he is meeting are taken, then the only way to get a girl is to break up a relationship or move to another place where there are single girls.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 It may be cruel, but it's the truth. Insecurities are the wrong things to focus on. You need to think you're at the top of that list, not the bottom. No, you need to ignore the list completely. At a bar it's best to get the woman talking about herself by asking questions. Light joking/teasing works well. Then build a gameplan around your perception of her personality. One size does not fit all. Ignore the other guys and keep asking for her attention. That's the way it is. When someone shares their insecurities you don't just slap their face and tell them to get over it. That is how a jerkoff handles the situation. Instead take the time to talk them through the insecurity. Only through kindness and understanding can you hope to create positive change.
KungFuJoe Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 No, you need to ignore the list completely. At a bar it's best to get the woman talking about herself by asking questions. Light joking/teasing works well. Then build a gameplan around your perception of her personality. One size does not fit all. Ignore the other guys and keep asking for her attention. When someone shares their insecurities you don't just slap their face and tell them to get over it. That is how a jerkoff handles the situation. Instead take the time to talk them through the insecurity. Only through kindness and understanding can you hope to create positive change. No...you're wrong. A slap in the face is what's needed here. No one "changes" themselves through coaxing and being nice. Sorry...not in the real world. You either need a real good kick in the ass, or you need to hit rock bottom for any REAL change to occur.
e40 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 When someone shares their insecurities you don't just slap their face and tell them to get over it. That is how a jerkoff handles the situation. Instead take the time to talk them through the insecurity. Only through kindness and understanding can you hope to create positive change. I want you to be right, I've found that is often not right. People do kick others when they are down. Why, I have no idea.
Author cottom Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 I posted another thread but ill ask here aswell as there are a lot of contrasting opinions here that can help: A girl likes me, she is obsessed with me, i want her friend, her friend wants me and her friend is the most perfect girl I've met, personality and looks. Her friend wont go anywhere in terms of more than texting with me as she feels guilty her friend likes me first. I have no interest in her friend, she is my mates little sister, she is also my best mates ex's best friend so that would just connect 2 people together who dont want it. She is emotionally unstable, eg she text my friend "sorry for the way i speak to you" he replies "okay its fine" her reply to that "fine **** off then i take the apology back you prick". And she is immature, she left her ex because he wouldn't pay her attention while his parents went through a divorce. She is also unattractive. I want the other girl so badly but this other girl is in the way and itll break up their friendship.
Bristolius Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I want you to be right, I've found that is often not right. People do kick others when they are down. Why, I have no idea. Weakness is contemptible. But Smileface is OK. She's posted enough here that I think of her as kind. Maybe the whinyness is getting to her.
e40 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Weakness is contemptible. But Smileface is OK. She's posted enough here that I think of her as kind. Maybe the whinyness is getting to her. Kicking the weak while they are down very often makes the weak even weaker.
aeren944 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 No, you need to ignore the list completely. At a bar it's best to get the woman talking about herself by asking questions. Light joking/teasing works well. Then build a gameplan around your perception of her personality. One size does not fit all. Ignore the other guys and keep asking for her attention. When someone shares their insecurities you don't just slap their face and tell them to get over it. That is how a jerkoff handles the situation. Instead take the time to talk them through the insecurity. Only through kindness and understanding can you hope to create positive change. Hmmm ok... OP, apparently you should ignore the viewpoint that you are inferior to these other guys. I don't think you should try to pick up a long term relationship at a bar... those are places where you pick up people who want to have drunk sex. That being said, however, I DO think you should re-evaluate your take on yourself. It seems to me that you may be selling yourself short by thinking that since there's other guys in the picture that you have no chance. I would venture to guess that you're at least way better than most of them, and the others? The thing they have that you don't is confidence... it's the ability to reach out and take what they want, instead of sitting back and hoping something will fall in your lap. I hope I'm not coming off as cruel, even though I'm saying pretty much the same thing... those insecurities will get you nowhere, and they ONLY live in your head. This world doesn't let you sit and wait for the good things... the way to get what you want in this world is to try, to strive, to reach out and take what you want.
ltjg45 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Job hunting and dating aren't the same thing. It's much easier for a man to get a job than to get a girlfriend. MUCH easier. I sure wish that was the case for me. 4 years and counting.....
e40 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Job hunting and dating aren't the same thing. It's much easier for a man to get a job than to get a girlfriend. MUCH easier. Right for the bottom 10 percent of guys, but not so for the rest.
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