OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I value your feedback, so thanks in advance.Since dumping my gf on boxing day out of pure paranoia I have been in deep regret. After initially asking her to come back I have collected my thoughts and have consulted much advice on the subject. This girl means everything to me and I must change in order to accomodate her. I have trust and control issues that I believe I'm working on. Since the split we have been intimate and seen each other several times, had constant contact etc. Last weekend she sent me a link for a house that she wanted stating in the long run would be ours. She has asked me out on valentines and stated that I should join her and family on a pre-booked vacation in may. I met with her on thurs and she started to cry as soon as we went out, saying that I didn't care about her. At the end of the night I told her that I wanted her back (by text). After much discussion I decided to give her three weeks to make her mind up. Have I done the right thing here? Anyway she asked me what I was doing yesterday and I stated that I was going to see an ex ex ex gf that I had met in the pub by accident on wednesday. She also has broken with her bf and I have no feelings for her, just for my ex. Anyway after telling her this she went mad and said that her family also agreed. Have I ruined my chances, is she wanting me? Should I just start admitting my feelings asap as until now I've been playing hard to get and basially playing mind games, these have stopped as I know its wrong.
Chi townD Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 (edited) I value your feedback, so thanks in advance.Since dumping my gf on boxing day out of pure paranoia I have been in deep regret. After initially asking her to come back I have collected my thoughts and have consulted much advice on the subject. This girl means everything to me and I must change in order to accomodate her. I have trust and control issues that I believe I'm working on. Since the split we have been intimate and seen each other several times, had constant contact etc. Last weekend she sent me a link for a house that she wanted stating in the long run would be ours. She has asked me out on valentines and stated that I should join her and family on a pre-booked vacation in may. I met with her on thurs and she started to cry as soon as we went out, saying that I didn't care about her. At the end of the night I told her that I wanted her back (by text). After much discussion I decided to give her three weeks to make her mind up. Have I done the right thing here? Anyway she asked me what I was doing yesterday and I stated that I was going to see an ex ex ex gf that I had met in the pub by accident on wednesday. She also has broken with her bf and I have no feelings for her, just for my ex. Anyway after telling her this she went mad and said that her family also agreed. Have I ruined my chances, is she wanting me? Should I just start admitting my feelings asap as until now I've been playing hard to get and basially playing mind games, these have stopped as I know its wrong. Dude,dude,dude......what...the....HELL...are...you...doing?!?!?! Do you want to get back with this girl or not? I mean, YOU dumped HER. You want her back, YOU do the heavy lifting! You were in the drivers seat when you ended the relationship the first time. NOW, she's in the driver's seat as far as where this relationship goes. NOT YOU!! SHE sent you a link about a house and she was excited because she saw the two of you starting a family there. SHE asked YOU out on Valentines Day. She started crying when she thought that you didn't care for her! And what exactly did you do to comfort her? Because that's what she was looking for! And at the end of the night you told her you wanted her back.....BY TEXT?!?!?! Really? That was smooth.... Then she asked you what you're doing and you told her that you're meeting up with and Ex girlfriend! AND YOU'RE SHOCKED SHE'S ANGRY?!?! You can tell me and everyone else here that you have absolutely no feelings for this girl. But, that's not what she's hearing. All she heard is that you're going on a date with a girl that you were intimate with!!!! Dude, your mind games are going to bite you in the ass and hard!!!! Edited February 12, 2013 by Chi townD 2
Author OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Damn, she's gonna call in half an hour, what do I do?
Chi townD Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Be honest with her and STOP PLAYING FRICKIN GAMES!!!!! YOU do the talking first! DO NOT LET HER GET A WORD IN UNTIL YOU SAID YOUR PEACE!! But, don't be a rambling idiot either! Tell her that you love her and that you've been a complete ass, but that changes now! Tell her what she means to you. Tell her that YOU are now going to do the heavy lifting to prove to her that you ARE that right guy for her. Tell her how you're going to be a better person. Tell her EVERYTHING that she's wanted to hear from you but you held back because you were playing hard to get. Once you get it all out there. Then you listen. You don't beg, plead or make deals. If she wants to leave, well theres nothing you can do about that. You were the one playing head games and you ended up losing. And, not to be rude but, you've got no one to blame but yourself. 1
Radu Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I'd also add, the reason you guys split in the first place [your paranoia], you need to have that dealt with somehow. Talk to a professional or something. Because out of your uncertainty, out of your insecurity, you pushed her away. And thus, you mentioning this girl from the past could be viewed as push-pull games. Which is not the stuff of mature ppl.
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