nsteen87 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I've seen a ton of threads on that site that cover speculation over what dumpers think/feel so I thought I would share an interesting story from the weekend. My girlfriend of 2 years and friend of ~ 6 years dumped me back in October out of blue. There has been NC for 3 solid months and the last words I uttered to her were "I'm too good for you" and yes I still believe this! I was in Atlantic City this weekend with a group of friends and as it turns out, one of the girls I was with became friends with my ex while they were pledging a sorority in college 5-6 years ago but they lost touch for the last 4 years or so. A picture of the two of us together ended up on Facebook and Twitter and lo and behold, my ex girlfriend contacts this girl whom she hasn't spoken to in 4+ years. I've shut down all of my social media except Facebook where I can block my Ex so you can imagine she had to go to quite some lengths to discover this. I don't remember the exact message but it was something to the tune of "Can't believe you're hanging out and partying with [me]....what a small world it is!" We don't know much about dumpers other than the fact that the more miserable and deflated we are, the bigger their ego is. We also know that when the bridge has been burned and they move on, they only throw us breadcrumbs when they are desperate, regretful or being their usual manipulative self. She contacted this friend of hers because she knew the message would be relayed to me which in itself, is incredibly manipulative! What she didn't expect was for me to have the fortitude not to respond or reach out to her. I couldn't tell you how she is feeling right now and it's not very important, but if I had to guess, she is probably eating herself up over the fact that I have moved on, am having fun and had the backbone to ignore the breadcrumbs. In the moment when this message was relayed to me, I was hurt and the sensation to reach out to her did captivate me a bit (almost as if I was back to Day 1 of NC) but I held my ground. I let the feeling expire and processed how I felt and I've moved on. I hope this helps those who are struggling to understand the importance of NC and the emotional growth you experience once you have had time to heal and process these things correctly. Once your head is in the right place, you can as I say "Keep the train moving forward. Run that b**** over!" Good luck everyone! 2
316 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 "Once you've proved to your ex that you can live without him or her - you won't have to." 1
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