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Girlfriend wants to meet me this week because "we need to talk"?

bada bing

By bada bing
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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bada bing Member

bada bing

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I got the dreaded "we need to talk text yesterday"...4 words we all hate to hear.

 

Not sure what to do? Should I just ignore them and play the No Contact or text her back and say think we need some time or break for a few days to show her strength.

 

She is in love with me, she has told me and i can feel it. I'm separated, which she was aware of, but started asking me lot's of specific questions this weekend about my divorce. She's mad that she can't have me 100%, meet my kids etc, as I'm going thru a divorce.

 

I really don't want to loose her, I'm affectionate with women, but careful with my words and play hard to get. She usually calls me more than I call her. I've stayed a challenge and hear that from her.

 

Help? should I meet up with her? then you get's the upper hand and most likely breaks it off with me? maybe I just avoid her for a few days and text her next week?

 

She is attractive and used to men chasing her and missing her after breakups. She is also very sensitive and emotional, but aren't they all :cool:

 

Thanks for your help, she will probably text me again to meet up today..help :confused:

KatZee Established Member

KatZee

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Why do you think it's fair that you string her along, play with her feelings, and prevent her from meeting a SINGLE and AVAILABLE man?

 

If she wants to talk, then talk. Don't run away like a coward or a little boy.

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bada bing Member

bada bing

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(Edited )I got the dreaded "we need to talk text yesterday"...4 words we all hate to hear.

 

Not sure what to do? Should I just ignore them and play the No Contact or text her back and say think we need some time or break for a few days to show her strength.

 

She is in love with me, she has told me and i can feel it. I'm separated, which she was aware of, but started asking me lot's of specific questions this weekend about my divorce. She's mad that she can't have me 100%, meet my kids etc, as I'm going thru a divorce.

 

I really don't want to loose her, I'm affectionate with women, but careful with my words and play hard to get. She usually calls me more than I call her. I've stayed a challenge and hear that from her.

 

Help? should I meet up with her? or text her about taking a break first to get the upper hand before she breaks it off with me? maybe I just avoid her for a few days and text her next week?

 

She is attractive and used to men chasing her and missing her after breakups. She is also very sensitive and emotional, but aren't they all :cool: I do feel she runs hot and cold. normally she thinks about things and comes around to reason, but I have a bad feeling about this text and think I'm most likely out.

 

Thanks for your help, she will probably text me again to meet up today..help :confused:

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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Meet with her. Sounds like she's trying to understand where this relationship is going. That's why she's asking all of these questions about your upcoming divorce and meeting the kids....blah....blah...

 

 

I think she needs to know where she stands in all of this. Then again, she may be breaking it off with you until everthing becomes finalized, just be ready for any possibility.

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bada bing Member

bada bing

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Sounds like maybe I should meet with her.

Otherwise I may always wonder.

 

I do think it's about a 90% chance she is breaking it off and I'm scared.

Any thought or advice on how I handle it? What to do or not do?

 

Any help appreciated.

KraftDinner Established Member

KraftDinner

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Why on earth would you even consider just ignoring her? I don't get that thinking at all. Sounds very fearful. Be brave! Courage! It's not scary.

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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Don't beg, plead or bargain. You're not going to win. All you can do is tell her how you feel about her and about your current situation, but you realize that you can't make her stay if she wants to go. But, I would also tell her that if she leaves, she's making the decision to have you out of her life and you promise to give her exactly that. You are not friends (and I have a feeling she'll throw the "I still want to be friends with you" line at you) You didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with the end result being that you are nothing more than a friend to her. She either gets 100% of you or nothing at all.

 

If you beg, cry and plead it makes you look pathetic in her eyes and she's going to want to remove herself from that situation quickly. If you hold yourself up with dignity (even though you're dying inside) she's going to respect how you're handling things and it's going to make HER rethink everything.

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flitzanu Established Member

flitzanu

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if you plan to have a real and meaningful relationship with anyone, i'd suggest finishing the divorce.

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bada bing Member

bada bing

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Listen, I may not be making a lot sense I know, but that's because I'm an emotional wreck right now, hence why I spilled my guts out here and asked for help.

 

I will man up and meet her to talk, but still would like any advice on how to do it?

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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Why would you play NC with her when you are the one that is separated ?

That will just make her feel used...

 

Just have a talk with her and find out what is up, you do realize that dating you is dating an available person ? so she may have some concerns that need to be addressed

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bada bing Member

bada bing

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Thanks Chi Town. Good advice.

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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Problem is you really don't know what she wants to talk about. You might be working yourself up over nothing.

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bada bing Member

bada bing

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True Chi Town... But "we need to talk" is usually womanese for it's over.

 

I just want to be prepared.

 

Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best--right

Bando89 Member

Bando89

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Let us know how it goes man!

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bada bing Member

bada bing

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Will do. I may wait a day or so, to let cooler heads prevail.

 

Would it be weak or cowardly if I chose to do it over the phone and not in person?

 

It's easier to say goodbye over the phone than to ask her to leave my place if we do break up.

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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That's entirely up to you. I would strongly suggest NOT doing it by text though.

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bada bing Member

bada bing

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Yeah, no text. Now I'm leaning towards in person.

 

I just need to rehearse what I'll say and project strength, even if it means I'm dying inside.

 

I do respect that she wants to meet me in person.

 

I know she loves me, so it won't be easy for her either.

 

Wish me luck boys.

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bada bing Member

bada bing

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Ok, her phone is turned off.

 

She has done that before when she doesn't like hearing texts and finds herself constantly checking if it's me?.

 

I have not left a message as I'd prefer to catch her live and not wait for a call back.

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bada bing Member

bada bing

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Her phone is still turned off. She normally does this when the wait to hear from me drives her stir crazy.

 

 

What should I do? Would you leave a message?

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bada bing Member

bada bing

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Ok, I called and I'm safe---for now.;)

 

I got myself so worked up these past two days.

lovecutsrightthruu Member

lovecutsrightthruu

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Boy, you must really like this girl :)

 

What did she say on the phone? Any clues as to what the 'talk' may be about?

coastchic Member

coastchic

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I agree with Chi town. Don't communicate feelings over texts. It is impersonal and doesn't always convey the message. Meet with her somewhere quiet and peaceful like a park or coffeshop. When a woman says "we need to talk" it is NOT always code for break up. For some it may be, but for others, they just want to talk, face to face, so that you and her can both express to eachother your feelings, emotions, and needs. It is scary but you and her will feel better that you did regardless of the outcome. Just be truthful and honest about how you feel about her and what is that you need out the relationship as well. I wish my ex had given me the same respect.

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