HKcolon Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Hi everyone, I recently turned 23 and my last relationship got me to thinking... Women are usually known for pretending to be younger than their age, but growing up, my mom (who had me in her 40's) would often up her age (55+ discounts etc). She's a great woman and I am lucky to have grown up knowing that age isn't everything...however, I do know that it is important and thus, have a dilemma. I've always been more attracted to older men, but I've found the older men who approach me have often not been stable and mature. Most importantly, they struck me as controlling and fixated on "young numbers". My ex was only 14 years older than me (although he lied and said he was 8 years older), but he made it clear that he "only liked young girls" (aka under 30). He would refer to women his own age as "old ladies", and would proudly declare that he hadn't matured since he was 20. The way he referred to women his age was a huge turnoff... However, I would prefer to date someone 15-25 years my senior, but don't want to attract men obsessed with women in their teens and twenties like my ex. I'm looking for someone who is okay dating women his own age. I could easily pass off for being in my early 30's, so I was thinking "Why not avoid these men like my ex altogether?". What I mean is, lie about my age in the way most women 21+ would never dare to: by pretending I'm older! I was thinking that this could help me eliminate creepers like my ex straight off the bat, because what matters most to them is age, in my experience. When I tell the 43 year old creeper looking for a plaything that I'm 30+ then the allure disappears for him. I can avoid him right off the bat. Likewise, the stable 43 year old seeking an equal is likely to prefer the 30+ year old. I've lived around the world, learned multiple languages/taken up many hobbies and been through a lot in my relatively short life. I have quite a few (well-educated expat) friends in their late 20's-early 30's who assumed I was their age when we met, so I know I can easily pass myself off as a 30-33 year old. While it might seem hypocritical for me to have a preferred age difference, even when I am 40, 50, or 60 the age gap won't change. However, for men who purposely target young women under 30, when I actually hit that age then I'm done for. I'm wondering if anyone here has tried upping their age before, and could share some thoughts and experiences etcetera. Thank you for this (perhaps) unnecessarily long read.
will1988 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 OP why do you prefer men who are much older? is it because you believe that they are more mature? or because they are better off? Maybe those are the issues and not exactly the age. Would you date someone within your age group who is mature and has a stable job? All those questions aside, a guy who is in their mid to late 30s, 40s, and 50s who is going after women your age, even those proclaiming to be in their late 20s and early 30s, are still after you because you are young. Whether that means you are their trophy/eye candy, a princess to spoil, or a sexual play thing they are mostly after one thing, your youth. The reason I feel most older men like younger girls is because they are more fun to be around, and more attractive (in their eyes) then the older more boring, settled down woman in their age group. If you still want older men you should have no problem finding them. If you have to lie about your age to get a man to react to you differently then you are lying to your self and what you actually want, and the guy is not right for you. You want to be able to be 100% you, without fear of a man abusing you just because of your young age. You should be free to be who you are. So I would tell you don't lie about your age, even if it is upping it, to attract men.
RandomName12 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Personally I wouldn't lie about your age, you are who you are and if you do find someone in the age group you're after who you want something lasting with starting things with dishonesty is never the way to go, even with the little things. On a random note may I ask if you want marriage and kids in your life? And if so does the age gap not put you off? Also how old are you exactly if you don't mind me asking?
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