tsunamii Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 So I need some advice of how to respond to this text I got from a girl I went to 2 dates with. Both dates went very well and she seemed to be very much into me. We kissed both times and she was complimenting me all the time. After those 2 dates I asked her to meet again and she seemed very keen, even proposing 2 options for a Friday or a Saturday. I went for a Friday date but she cancelled last minute. She still seemed keen to rearrange, but then I got this long text after a couple of days: After a few compliments which I am not including here, the rest of her text reads: “You are inspirational with all your talents, ideas and hobbies, I really love your company and I think we have loads of shared interests, you are a breath of fresh air. But I have been thinking over the weekend how I think I feel more of a friendship chemistry between us. I would honestly love to hang out with you as friends and go to museums and share ideas. But I think there is a very special girl out there for you who will be so much better suited for your lovely self. I hope you understand and that we will see each other soon again” Not sure how to respond to that text. For me it is a futile effort to try anything. I have never became friends in the past with a woman I was interested in dating. Obviously I cannot read her mind as to why she decided to go down that path but it is not very important I guess. When women say things like that from my experience, they are not even interested in friendship. It is just a nice way to say no thanks. Why would I want to hang around and do things with someone I don’t really know when I can do all those things with my friends? The question to ask is what I want to get out of the situation. Well, I would still like to live a door open, but I will not go after her. I guess I want to stay in contact with her hoping that something might come out of it, but I definitely don’t want to be her friend. Not sure how to word that to her when she said she is interested only in friendship, which I am not. At this point I have not invested anything, but she is good relationship material, therefore my post on here. Any specific ideas of what to reply welcome.(I have an idea, but I would like to share the wisdom of this forumJ)
mammasita Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 IMO, she could be sincere in saying that she would like to remain friends. If it were me, I would respond with a simple "OK" and leave it at that. You don't owe her an explanation or anything - she laid it all out there for you. If she wants to truly be friends, let her initiate contact from this point on.
Emilia Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Not sure how to respond to that text. For me it is a futile effort to try anything. I have never became friends in the past with a woman I was interested in dating. Obviously I cannot read her mind as to why she decided to go down that path but it is not very important I guess. When women say things like that from my experience, they are not even interested in friendship. It is just a nice way to say no thanks. Why would I want to hang around and do things with someone I don’t really know when I can do all those things with my friends? The question to ask is what I want to get out of the situation. Well, I would still like to live a door open, but I will not go after her. I guess I want to stay in contact with her hoping that something might come out of it, but I definitely don’t want to be her friend. Not sure how to word that to her when she said she is interested only in friendship, which I am not. At this point I have not invested anything, but she is good relationship material, therefore my post on here. Any specific ideas of what to reply welcome.(I have an idea, but I would like to share the wisdom of this forumJ) I wouldn't bother responding and wouldn't want to keep the door open. What for? She probably isn't feeling the attraction strongly enough and that's not likely to change. Why give her the attention when she isn't considering you further? I'd cut contact with her from now on. I'm sorry you are experiencing this, best to find out now than get drawn into it further. I know it's a bitter pill to swallow, we have all been there. Sorry OP
animalover Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 So I need some advice of how to respond to this text I got from a girl I went to 2 dates with. Both dates went very well and she seemed to be very much into me. We kissed both times and she was complimenting me all the time. After those 2 dates I asked her to meet again and she seemed very keen, even proposing 2 options for a Friday or a Saturday. I went for a Friday date but she cancelled last minute. She still seemed keen to rearrange, but then I got this long text after a couple of days: After a few compliments which I am not including here, the rest of her text reads: “You are inspirational with all your talents, ideas and hobbies, I really love your company and I think we have loads of shared interests, you are a breath of fresh air. But I have been thinking over the weekend how I think I feel more of a friendship chemistry between us. I would honestly love to hang out with you as friends and go to museums and share ideas. But I think there is a very special girl out there for you who will be so much better suited for your lovely self. I hope you understand and that we will see each other soon again” Not sure how to respond to that text. For me it is a futile effort to try anything. I have never became friends in the past with a woman I was interested in dating. Obviously I cannot read her mind as to why she decided to go down that path but it is not very important I guess. When women say things like that from my experience, they are not even interested in friendship. It is just a nice way to say no thanks. Why would I want to hang around and do things with someone I don’t really know when I can do all those things with my friends? The question to ask is what I want to get out of the situation. Well, I would still like to live a door open, but I will not go after her. I guess I want to stay in contact with her hoping that something might come out of it, but I definitely don’t want to be her friend. Not sure how to word that to her when she said she is interested only in friendship, which I am not. At this point I have not invested anything, but she is good relationship material, therefore my post on here. Any specific ideas of what to reply welcome.(I have an idea, but I would like to share the wisdom of this forumJ) I would not want to remind friends with her... even when she really would like that... You obviously want to be more than friends with her and I don't think you would really enjoy being friend zoned and seeing her going out with other guys... I would just go nc with her.
its a lifestyle Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Brush your shoulder off and say NEXT...
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Seems like she didn't really feel a lot of chemistry in the kissing and being around you, and seems to like you well enough as a person...however not romantically. Maybe you remind her of someone or she just thinks you're a really sweet guy and and a gentlemen yadda yadda, depends on what she told ya. I think she tried to be nice and somewhat respectful being that she offered a friendship..which is always a shaky negotiation, however she did at least seem somewhat genuine with the thorough reply. But still, a rejection is a rejection and she may have just said that out of the moment, it is definitely in her own interest to maintain this friendship which she didn't seem too interested in how you would feel about that. Some women have a knack for not being too concerned how the guy feels about her, like if it's just your luxury to be around someone you are romantically interested in as a friend. I would reply however respectfully, thank her for her honesty but tell her you'll be moving on and wish her good luck. You can reply in kindness instead of be bitter or have a hidden agenda with the friendship, which I think is a horrible idea IMO in hopes of a romantic outcome. You don't have to go NC as if she had wronged you, however I realize that many people would handle it that way to prevent any further communication...with someone who just basically turned you down...it's understandable, but keep the reply short if you do and I'm sure she'll figure it out if you don't.
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