dcla93 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Hey guys. Pretty down at the moment. Ive been with my girlfriend for 3 months tomorrow and we couldn't be better, so i thought. We haven't had many fights or anything. Well we met at our casual jobs, and it grew from there. We see each other every day, she always says how much she adores me and always goes all cuddly with me. She also always wants to be with me... Anyway last week we swapped phones and when we swapped back she said she went through my messages and history. I'm not too worried, i have nothing and im open with it. She was surprised i didn't go in her phone, and look around. Any-ways today comes and she gave me her phone while i waited for her at Uni. So i thought i would look through it, i know i shouldn't have. Any-ways i work with a guy (say his name is john) who is pretty good looking and is very likeable and i have had a suspicion he likes her and my gf has a little thing for him. Started when a group of us went out, he was there. Anyways, we were in the car and she said to another friend "whats 'johns' number he is hot"! Also on the dance floor she was on the podium and i was walking with "John" next to me and she didnt look at me, only looked at him! I was pretty shocked she would say that, anyways we patched it up later. Ever since that day, when he is out partying he sends selfies to her over facebook, with me next to her and everything! I get annoyed. Anyways today i had her phone and in the messages i saw texts to another work friend talking about "John" quite alot. eg "If only he was taller, he would be perfect", "Hopefully "John" is there tomorrow, it will be good", "Hopefully he lets us in at the back door", "He goes to Uni and is good looking, he is amazing".. Also took sneaky photos of him and sent them to her friend saying "He also does 3 finger push ups" Then like one night i was sick, and she came home with me and was saying to him "i wish i was coming, im so sad" and that same night texted her friend saying "Im so upset im not going, i was going to wingman him and then cockblock him" I have said to her i think "John" likes her and she texted her friend saying i said that and her friend said "i told ya so" and i cant remember the exact details words she replied with but i think it was like "ah i wish" and also she always wants to know if "john" is going. Also in one of the messages she says to her friend "She dreams of "John" to words of that effect, cant quite remember the exact details. Sorry if this is hard to make sense of. But she has confessed her love, we have spent literally every day with each other, she always wants to be spending time with me. THis is my first relationship and her first relationship and i dont know, i love her alot, and i mean i thought/think she loves me as well, she tells me alot and we are really cosy and cuddly etc. When ive been out and gotten sick, she always said "Im you gf, i want to be with you, i dont care as long as you are okay".. But im not sure whether it is my inexperience in this stuff that thinks that. I dont know whether i should be worried or anything. I am just really down and dont know if i should say something or not? Please help with advice. I just said I don't want to lose her and she replied "You wont, i love and respect you too much" Its killing me.
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 She is playing foul. A relationship isn't about secrets. It isn't love, when a gf is off talking constantly about another Guy: wanting to be with him. Missing him. "He's hot." That is disrespectful to you as her b/f. She was even brazen enough to show you her phone: knowing you are suckered enough to not look(or so she thought). My ex gave me her email: listen to this now: [email protected] anyway....she gave it to show she wasn't cheating. Although it worked...(no emails from guys, unfortunately I saw her phone but she cleared most messages.) Anyway by luck: I saw her mother Anjaras email link...to her profile. When I was on her moms profile I saw her daughter had two extra profiles: Sara Ramirez(Christian name) Gemma Camara(Muslim name) anyway both had guys on it, one a lot. The other her friends/family/this boy she was accussrd by me of cheating with; flirting back and forth(funny that night she said she went to bed..but was up on her profile and FB.) She said it was her sister's profile(LOL). Anyway my point is, you've opened your eyes as L33T says. Do not be a doormat! She doesn't love you or this other Guy wouldn't be constantly on her mind(even if she did: She's playing foul.
animalover Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 You owe yourself a good conversation with your girlfriend about all this you have read in her mobile! She can't control what she feels or likes... I am sure you find hot another girls too... but this constant texting about the same guy is really concerning... I really don't know how to put this forward because you look to be a nice guy and you seem to love her with your whole heart... but I am suspecting that she actually wanted you to see her texts as she doesn't dare to tell you herself that she is moving on... I hope I am wrong and just a good conversation over a glass of good wine will help you both to get stronger from here... but I honestly feel she is signing out of the relationship... 1
StanMusial Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Well you're both young and have much to learn. She seems like the type that needs to get pumped and dumped a few times. But that's OK, you don't need her around anyway. She is totally disrespecting you with her behavior.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 As hard as this will sound you may be better off without her. She takes secret photos of guys and writes about how hot they are. Imagine how a woman would react to her man doing that to women. It's going to be hard but you're going to have to break up with her. If you think she's worth the argument ask her to explain herself before you walk away. See if she has a good logical explanation.
Treasa Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 So she went through your phone, got annoyed that you didn't go through hers, and then baited you into going through it again. She seems to enjoy screwing with you. Why are you with this immature child? If, for some reason, my boyfriend had my phone, I'd expect he wouldn't go through it, and I'd be pissed if he had, even though I have nothing to hide. It's because we're adults and we trust each other and have respect for each other.
veggirl Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Man your gf is super creepy...taking secret photos of a guy who doesn't know she is doing it?! Yikes. Plus, sounds like she'd ditch you in a heartbeat if John wanted her to. Do you wanna be her second choice? If not, cut her loose. She can say she loves you all she wants but her actions don't back it up. She's using you to avoid being alone. 1
Author dcla93 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 So she came over before Uni this morning and i looked again. All the messages were when she was drunk and they included "we can only dream, he is so hot" and her friend texted saying are you in love to which my gf said "incredibly" she is drunk and that night said when i was sick she wants to stay with me and do what i do... How can I bring it up?
normal person Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 (edited) Anyways, we were in the car and she said to another friend "whats 'johns' number he is hot"! She asked for another guy's number with you in the car, you sat there and did nothing? Whatever her reason for doing it, she's going to continue doing it until you give her a reason to stop. Have you ever heard of a girl getting totally turned on by a completely unassertive, passive guy? I haven't. To me, it sounds like she's either: 1). Really attracted to John 2). Baiting you to grow a pair 3). Some combination of the above two, using her attraction as a method of getting you to man up and do something. Whatever her reason, it doesn't sound like she has much respect for you. And no offense, but it's partially your fault for allowing it to continue to happen. This stuff has been going on right in front of you and you've acted like it's completely ok for her to do that to you. Why? So she came over before Uni this morning and i looked again. All the messages were when she was drunk and they included "we can only dream, he is so hot" and her friend texted saying are you in love to which my gf said "incredibly" she is drunk and that night said when i was sick she wants to stay with me and do what i do... How can I bring it up? She was talking about how she loves some other guy and you want to be tactful about bringing it up? You have every right to be furious with this girl. Being polite about her acting completely disrespectfully isn't going to do you any favors. This girl gives you no respect, why are you so eager to give it to her? Edited February 12, 2013 by normal person
KungFuJoe Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 It sucks dude...but three months is nothing. Be thankful you didn't waste more of your time. Dump her, save your self respect, move on.
normal person Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Right now you should be a rottweiler, but you're acting more like a labrador puppy in a basket with a pink bow tied to his collar. It's completely fine to stand up for yourself when warranted. She's the one who's in the wrong for transgressing, not you for complaining about it.
animalover Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 (edited) So what is gonna be the red pill or the blue pill? Are you going to confront her or are you going to become her new doormat? Edited February 12, 2013 by animalover
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