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I'm becoming physically unattracted to my Fiance'.


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Posted (edited)
Okay, I just read this. I think this is a really bad idea, especially since it seems like you've NEVER talked to her about this before. Think of it as seasoning your cooking - you add some salt, taste it, if it works, great, otherwise you increment as needed. You don't dump the whole packet of salt in wholesale because you can always add, but you can never take away. The same goes with words.

 

So, you start off with "Honey, I think it's time we made some lifestyle changes together. I'd love for us to both be active together and be wiser about our eating habits." Give her the chance to get the ball rolling with you. That might just be all you need. Listen to her if she has any reasons why she can't. "There's nobody to watch the baby if we go to the gym together". Or "I'm exhausted looking after the baby all day". Work out solutions with her.

 

If a month passes and nothing happens. Then you go on to "It's REALLY important to me for us to both have gym time together and make healthy choices as a family so I don't feel like we're living separate lives here. I need for us all to be on the same page, and you know how being healthy and fit is important to me. So can we make some changes together?"

 

"I'm going to be honest, it seems like you haven't been very motivated and you've kind of been letting yourself go physically. I'm finding it difficult to get turned on because of the lifestyle you've been living lately and I want to help address that." should really be reserved as a last ditch kind of thing. It's not about her being 'too fragile to handle it', it's about simple consideration and tact. Women generally tie a lot of their self-esteem in with their partner's opinion of their body, because that is how society has shaped us. These words are pretty harsh and should only be said when all subtler attempts have failed.

 

I think this method would be wise. Perhaps I'll go about it this way.

Edited by goodmanz
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Posted
I think this method would be wise. Perhaps I'll go about it this way.

 

Glad you think so. Hope things work out for you both. :)

Posted

If she's eating a lot of greasy food that is no doubt high in sodium as well as calories, tell her you are concerned about her blood pressure and cholesterol levels and you want to help her get healthy for the sake of your baby. A baby step, so to speak. She can make comfort foods like chicken soup or have roasted salmon or turkey lettuce wraps. Food that is filling and healthful.

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