gonefishin Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Just over a week of no contact now.... Would love to say its getting easier .. Doesn't appear to be to be honest... Ok so I'm not checking my phone quite as much as before But the realisation has hit home that she ain't gonna call. Anyone going into no contact don't think this is a walk in the Park and give her a few days and she will have your phone hopping .. The danger is she may not call and if your banking on this as your strategy You could be rocked a lot more when you accept it. I know no contact is based to get yourself to a better place and 100% not to get her back .. But if your secretly doing it to get her back I've a feeling you could be back to square one and badly hurt again.. Shows just how bad I was thinking I expected in a week shed miss me and forget the wrongs and hurts... Boy am I naive ..... I'm gonna stick with what's meant for you won't pass you ... I'm praying at this stage that if she did come back its for the right reasons not out of pity or loneliness... And I guess if she does that's something but if she doesn't I keep on truckin' Finally just wondering any one else feel reading everyone's sad and heartbreak stories may not be the best to be doing going through a breakup yourself? Kinda like been dumped and listening to the 100 greatest love ballads.. Haha Come on guys give me some input on no contact what's there mind going through is it getting easier day by day or harder for them ...?? I'm only a week In of solid no contact to expect anything is that crazy thinking ? Sorry for the mess of a post it just poured out haha Hope everyone has a good Tuesday
lovecutsrightthruu Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Well done on making it to a week. I'm at 3 days and I'm dying here On the positive side, I think you'll find IF she cracks it'll be around the 3 - 4 week mark - one week is too soon Its a dangerous ploy though for getting someone back as it may backfire - I'm doing it as a last resort ........as me and her are just spinning around in circles at the moment Have you blocked her on everything - email, phone, FB? How soon after the B/U did you go into NC?
Author gonefishin Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Yeah Facebook blocked and no emails or texts since .. We broke the Friday .. I sent two texts Saturday and Sunday then saying dont Give up on us but fell on deaf ears so left it at that.. I want nothing more than to text or call just to hear her..but I know it will hurt cause it won't be a warm welcome ... So u think a week was silly looking for any results! I went no contact the Monday after breaking on Friday and here I am now ..
cavalier99 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Dude is this the same girl that you have been going back and forth with since Oct? If it is I'm glad you finally went NC. You deserve a pat on the back because that sounded like you were stuck in some sorta permanent torture time machine type deal. Never ending unfulfilled hope and torment..sorts like hell but worse. Stay NC like your life depends on it because i think it does. Cav 2
Own Worst Enemy Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 and on the one hand it hurts awfully that he hasn't even sent a single text. on the hand, i don't have to worry about him meeting someone else and me finding out about it. the second outweighs the first by about 1000000000000000000000000%. that's the beauty of NC. it's hard but ignorance is bliss. 2
Author gonefishin Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Yup same relationship break up/make up .. She comes back I'm ok for a while then We fall out and I go pieces.. Sad and embarrassing I know... Just so hard to let go ..
cavalier99 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 (edited) Yup same relationship break up/make up .. She comes back I'm ok for a while then We fall out and I go pieces.. Sad and embarrassing I know... Just so hard to let go .. Man. That blows. Don't feel to embarrassed I've been there. I actually waited out a 4 month relationship an ex had to get back together with her. And once dated a girl for a bit knowing she was with some one else and i thought i could handle it. Totally pitiful. Anyway the point is you can go on forever like that if the girl lets it go on and you do too. You think it is a good thing but it just gives you this false hope. You need to take a stand and get out. NC truly is the only solution. Don't get sucked back in. You are asking for months and months of more misery. Guaranteed. She needs to be treated like a serial killing stalker just like NO FOOLIN says. This girl will destroy you. Well technically you will destroy yourself over this girl and she will let you. And if it was her that said never contact me again, be grateful that she pulled the plug. Biggest favor she ever did for you post BU. Edited February 12, 2013 by cavalier99
tory1012 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I feel ya, i just started no contact after ONE YEAR of false hopes. Now im finally doing NC and going to move countries in June anyway lol nc nc nc nc nc nc nc nc nc nc nc nc i just have to keep reminding myself, also no contact is good because the former comment you don't get to find out if they have been with anyone!
cavalier99 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I feel ya, i just started no contact after ONE YEAR of false hopes. Now im finally doing NC and going to move countries in June anyway lol nc nc nc nc nc nc nc nc nc nc nc nc i just have to keep reminding myself, also no contact is good because the former comment you don't get to find out if they have been with anyone! Yeah when you living on false hope it can dominated your life. I've even won the girl back but he price was just horrendous. Like i almost sold my soul to make it work. Only to have things fall apart for the same reasons month or years later. I will NEVER do that again. Definitely better to bite the bullet now and go NC.
Author gonefishin Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 I think your right .. I so need to see the logic And follow my head this time ... Just struggling so much right now.
cavalier99 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 (edited) I think your right .. I so need to see the logic And follow my head this time ... Just struggling so much right now. I totally understand you. I think your biggest danger is this is the type of girl that come back to you and you wont be able to say no only to be shredded again. Time to stop the cycle of destruction and suffering. You need to take a stand and also stop trying to win her back. And be prepares that when you stop trying to win her back she might reappear. And i know this reappear concept sounds sooooo appealing and youd propably kill for this to happen...but this is like the devil showing up to suck you back in..believe me. You really need hard core NC to break the addiction. You are in for a long road ahead recovering form this. Like a one day at a time 12 step deal. It will however get better. Promise. Just dont break NC...like EVER Edited February 12, 2013 by cavalier99
Author gonefishin Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 I get you .. Your making perfect sense but why can't I see past how much I want her Back ... It's my birthday this week and I kinda think she may ( I don't know tho) use that as a chance to text . What should I do just leave my phone off for the day ?
cavalier99 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 (edited) I get you .. Your making perfect sense but why can't I see past how much I want her Back ... It's my birthday this week and I kinda think she may ( I don't know tho) use that as a chance to text . What should I do just leave my phone off for the day ? I think i know where your at. You are like me back when i waited around for that other ex. I couldn't block her i couldn't delete the photos..it was pure madness. Cutting her out was almost impossible. I'm telling you man. Can you block her? Does you phone company let you? Also can you do it? How committed are you? Have you had enough. It gets better after like 4 weeks NC. Can you pull the plug completely? I don think you have much of a choice. I pretty sure this has gone on long enough. Have you had enough or do you want more of a beating. Only you can decide. Also..do you want to feel like a man again? Right now you are totally her lap dog. Grabbing at any treats she gives you. It is a miserable existence. I'm not saying this to be critical because I've been there. If you go hard core NC eventually you will rediscover your self respect and will be so grateful you got out. I mean you have to free your self from this prison you've created. I know i may sound overly dramatic..but am i? Ha I bet my posts are making you squirm. Lol Sorry bro... Reality can be uncomfortable as f*ck Lol Edited February 12, 2013 by cavalier99
Author gonefishin Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 I've done no form of contacting her.. But feel the no contact I'm just cheating as all I'm doing is wishing she would contact me.. Just not in a good place right now..
notsosuperman Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 (edited) Believe me.. NC does get easier, a lot. As long as you have the power to control yourself and not contact her, even though you want to, you are on the right track and doing really good! Take it from someone who just passed the 3 months nc mark. Hang in there buddy. Edited February 12, 2013 by notsosuperman
Viber Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Hello mate, I can relate with you in a big way! to the point that its MY birthday this week also, well its the 19th but all my friends and i will be celebrating it and unfortunately she wont be there ive never posted a thread ( yet ) as its just to big of a story and i start to write it and it pains & sickens me to bring it up in detail. anyway' i dont want to hijack your thread, but i will tell you how this is a quite similar story to mine. I was dating an absolutely stunning girl, 9/10 in the looks department, & with 18 months of relationship, there were many little breaks and each time it would happen she would get more and more power from me, because she was hot she'd get SO much attention from guys and she new it and used it to her advantage, i couldn't stand it so i always found myself pleading & begging for her to make it work again, but fixing it would be like putting on a bandaid over a wound, i could be a wreck one minute' couldn't eat, sleep or even hold my head up, and then fix the situation that afternoon and go back to normal for a few days. But at the end of the day' i lost my man like nature and became a wuss! she knew that all she had to do was end it with me and id come crawling back in fear of her hurting me by seeing someone else in spite 'and therefore creating even more of a power shift! it was like a vicious cycle that that i just couldn't stop. its been four and a half weeks now since the Breakup. does she care? no' not at all!! i broke NC yesterday for the first time, I wrote - No hard feelings.. and she wrote back' sorry' who's this? of course she had deleted my number as i did hers, but i know it off by heart. there where a few texts back an forth, all of which she give me no pity, I wanted to honestly say my peace and know that i wasn't holding on to any bad blood and that im in a better place and not to ever think what we shared was a waste of time. almost seeking closure in a way, as i never got a chance to actually speak or see her when it happened. Id wanted to say something' for four weeks, its amazing how someone can be in your life EVERYDAY then all of a sudden nothing! what happened? where did it go wrong? blame! blame! four weeks of living a life without her, its scared the sh*t out of me.. and im still not in a good place. So no' i wouldn't contact her, i know you've been yo yo'd like me and calling her only gives her all the power and makes her feel more comfortable with the decision that she's made. I aim to keep NC now for the rest of my time. in relation to your question about wether or not reading hundreds of peoples heartbreak. sure its hard to read, but it also gives you comfort knowing that what your going through isn't unique to just you. you have LOADS of people that have had there heart broken and you can follow posts of how people have rebuilt there lives after there ex. FOR THE BETTER. i find myself jumping on as soon as i wake up' as thats the worst time of the day for me. I was only thinking today. RIGHT NOW theres someone thats happily in a relationship, they know nothing of loveshack.org and and there eating, sleeping and getting on with there lives, but tomorrow, or next week someone thats living that NOW will be on here pouring there heart out because they've just experienced the biggest loss of there life, and hopefully people like you, me and all the other good folks here will be able to shed some light on the feelings that there going through, and that time eventually will get you to the light at the end of the tunnel. Hope your tomorrows a better day 1
iouaname Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 No Contact DOES suck. Everything sucks post-break up, I find the thing about the whole "You shouldn't do no contact in order to win your ex back!" thing is that it doesn't really matter. What else are you supposed to do? You kind of have to go no contact regardless of what you are hoping for, and just sort of lose the "hope" on the way... 3
cavalier99 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 No Contact DOES suck. Everything sucks post-break up, I find the thing about the whole "You shouldn't do no contact in order to win your ex back!" thing is that it doesn't really matter. What else are you supposed to do? You kind of have to go no contact regardless of what you are hoping for, and just sort of lose the "hope" on the way... God your so right. I was doing ok but the last couple days I've been in a funk. This BU has beat the living sh*t out of me after my 8 yr RS. I've been thru the ringer and beaten about every which way but sideways. This is defiantly an eye opening experience. I sure hope this emotional turmoil ends. I mean it is a lot better than early on but just sucks still. 4 months NC and counting.
cdt76 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Does anyone else wish bad things upon their ex or is it just me?
cavalier99 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 (edited) Does anyone else wish bad things upon their ex or is it just me? I hope mine bursts into flames and explodes after getting dumped mercilessly by the new guy then comes begging me back and i kick her off my door step with her utterly destroyed and in tears. Plus she i hope she has gained like 30 pounds and looks like sh*t and she has to roll her sobbing fat ass off my porch. Umm.. well.. i meant ..i hope she is fine . Hmmm...Maybe I've been feeling some anger at this whole ordeal, must reflect. Cav Edited February 12, 2013 by cavalier99 1
cdt76 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I hope mine bursts into flames and explodes after getting dumped mercilessly by the new guy then comes begging me back and i kick her off my door step with her utterly destroyed and in tears. Umm.. well.. i meant ..i hope she is fine BAHAHA! That's awesome! I'm hoping a bad venereal disease hits her! I'm hoping her car gets repossessed, I'm hoping her every dream is smashed and never comes true. I'm hoping she never has an easy life and that she ends up fat and miserable!
cavalier99 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 (edited) BAHAHA! That's awesome! I'm hoping a bad venereal disease hits her! I'm hoping her car gets repossessed, I'm hoping her every dream is smashed and never comes true. I'm hoping she never has an easy life and that she ends up fat and miserable! Ha. I edited my post above and added the fat part too. Must be a common desire. Lol To be honest there is another part of me that hopes for her happiness and of course my complete indifference. I guess ill just forgive her at a later date. I know i will ...just not now. Edited February 12, 2013 by cavalier99
cdt76 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 That's one of my issues and it's probably because I am not close with God. I can't give forgiveness to someone who never asks for it. Who am I to forgive if they don't want it? F them. They can rot in hell for all the turmoil they have caused and God can be the one sort it all out!
bollixology Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Keep it up bud!!!!!! I am at 3 weeks NC tomorrow and it will get better for you. I am, sorry was in the same long vortex of going back and forth with only one constant me getting ****ed over, as you seem to be going through, mine was an almost 6 year relationship with a year long never ending merry go around of pain for me. The only thing that will ease the pain that you have been going through is to stay away from her at all costs and I mean all costs. Block her on FB, delete her from your phone, delete all texts, delete all emails don't torture your self by going back over them and reading them it WILL KILL you. I made that mistake all along and it will only amplify your want to contact her into your heart telling you that you NEED to contact her!!!! the first week or so is hell i wont lie to you but IT WILL get better i promise you. what has helped me is a lot of working out keeping busy at all costs and repeating this mantra in my head when she comes knocking "She is not worth this, she would have only hurt me and it would have never worked out in the long run" now I am not going to lie to you and tell you that I am risen from the dead and that I am a new man as it would be bull****!!!!! But what I can tell you is that the feeling that the 4 horse men of the Apocalypse had arrived at my front door and were about to break it in when I thought of her has lifted and the pain that they brought with them has also lifted. it will get better and ease slightly not by much at first but its all about the small victory's. if you had told me two weeks ago that I would have a smile on my face watching the celtic vs juve game I would have called you a pathological liar but low and behold hear I am!!!! keep the strength bud sorry if i have rambled on!! 1
Author gonefishin Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Guys thanks for the great replies.. I'll fill u in on what disaster I done .. Well I completely crumbled .. Sent a text asking about maybe meeting up Or sorting things.. Was told nice and politely no.. So that's it ! Clear as day.. I have to let it go .. I didn't want to give up But I tried .. I can at least hold my head up high... I've personal issues coming out my ears at the minute and need to get them Fixed... I fully intend to get the professional help too.. This has been a horrible time for me but I think now I gotta concentrate on me . I know in this depressed and sad state no one would want me Thanks again for the help guys ....
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