FIORDALIZA Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 HELLO, HERE I GO, IVE BEEN WITH MY SONS FATHER FOR 8YR WE HAVE A 7YR OLD SON IN THOSE 8YR HE HAS BEEN CHEATING ON ME WITH THIS ONE GIRL WE ALL WENT TO THE SAME HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER SINCE IVE BECAME PREAGNANT WITH HIS CHILD HE STARTED CHEATING ON ME WITH HER, WHEN I FOUND OUT I CONFRONTED HER IN THE GIRL BATHROOM IN SCHOOL AND TOLD HER TO LEAVE HIM ALONE BECAUSE I WAS 6 MONTHS PREAGNAT WITH HIS BABY. SHE TOLD ME HE WAS THE ONE AFTER HER ANY WAY I CONFROTED HIM HE SAID IT WAS HER, FINE AFTER THAT 2 YR LATER I FIND HER NUMBER IN HIS CELL PHONE I CALLED HER AND STARTED ARGUING WITH HER I TOLD HER TO PLEASE JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE WE ARE TOGETHER ITS BEEN 2 YR ALREADY WHY ARE YOU STILL AFTER HIM I EVEN GOT INTO IT WITH HER MOTHER HER MOTHER'S ANSWER WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A PEACE OF **** ANYWAY SO MY ANSWER WAS IF HE IS A PEACE OF **** WHY IS YOUR DAUGHTER AFTER MY BOYFRIEND TRYIN TO BRAKE UP MY FAMILY SO THEN SHE HUNG UP, I CONFRONTED HIM AGAIN AND ASK HIM WHY HE WAS STILL REACHING OUT TO HER? HIS ANSWER WAS SHE GAVE ME HER NUMBER AND I DID NOT WANT TO MAKE HER FEEL BAD, ANY WAY 3 YEARS LATER SHE STARTS PASSING BY WHERE HE HANGS AT TRYING TO SUDUCE HIM WITH HER SHORT SKIRT AND FLIRTATIOUS WAYS HE COMES HOME AND TELLS ME ABOUT IT AND I TOLD HIM YEAH WELL TELL HER TO LEAVE U ALONE BECAUSE IM NO LONGER GOING TO PUT UP WITH IT, FINE THEN 2 YR PASSES BY AGAIN . WE HAD GOTTEN INTO AN ARGUMENT SO BAD WHERE HE ACTUALLY LEFT TO HIS MOTHER HOUSE SO ONE MORNING I PASS BY HIS MOTHERS HOUSE SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT OUR FIGHT AN APPOLIGISE WHEN I GO INTO HIS MOTHERS HOUSE I START KNOCKING ON HIS ROOM DOOR SHE OPENS UP THE DOOR, I YELLED WHAT THE HELL ARE U DOING HERE , HER ANSWER WAS WHO THE HELL ARE U? I TOLD HER U KNOW WHO I AM. WHEN I TOOK MY JACKET OFF TO HIT HER MY BOYFRIEND CAME OUT OF THE BATHROOM IN BOXERS I GOT SO PISSED OF I FORGOT ABOUT HER AND CHARGED AFTER HIM HIT HIM IN THE FACE AND STARTED CRYING WHY WHY IS SHE STILL IN OUR LIFE IT'S BEEN 7 YR AND SHE STILL IN OUR LIFE WHY? HE STARTED SAYING IM SORRY ITS NOT WHAT U THINK SHE WAS LEAVING TO FLORIDA AND CAME SO SAY GOOD BYE , ANY WAY SHE RAN OFF DID NOT HAVE TIME TO HIT HER AND TRIED TO COME ME DOWN I COULD NOT TAKE IT ANY MORE WHY AFTER SO MANY YEARS ARE U STILL LETTING HER IN OUR LIFE IF U WANT HER STAY WITH HER AND STOP WASTING MY TIME. HIS ANSWER WAS NO NO NO I LOVE U, U ARE THE MOTHER OF MY CHILD U ARE THE ONE I WANT TO BE WITH SHE IS JUST A PSYCHO OBSSESED WITH ME ANY WAY WE LEFT IT LIKE THAT HE APPOLIGISE AND SAID HE WILL NEVER HURT ME WITH HER AGAIN I BELIVED HIM. ONLY A YEAR LATER, THIS YEAR I DISCOVER HE WAS CHEATING ON ME WITH HER FOR 6 MONTHS AND HE HAD GOTTEN HER PREAGNANT WHEN I FOUND OUT I LOST IT I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK I ENDED IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM I COULD NOT TAKE IT ANY MORE SO I MADE HIM DECIDE RIGHT INFRONT OF THE TWO OF US HIS STATEMENT WAS I LOVE THE BOTH OF U BUT HE CHOSE HER SO I TOLD HIM STAY WITH HER AND DONT EVER LOOK FOR ME AGAIN FINALLY SHE GOT WHAT SHE WANTED, SHE HAS BEEN A SHADOW IN OUR RELATION SHIP SHE FINALLY TOOK HIM AWAY FROM ME SHE TOOK WHAT SHE WANTED AND GOT IT, SHE DID NOT EVEN CARE THAT WE HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER NEITHER DID HE, I ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE AT LEAST CARED ABOUT ME ALL THESE YR WEVE BEEN TOGETHER FEELS LIKE A LIE, NOW HE IS WITH HER ALL OVER THE PLACE DOSENT EVEN CARE THAT PEOPLE SEE THEM TOGHETHER AND TELL ME ABOUT THEM BEING TOGETHER ALL OVER TOWN LIKE I NEVER EGSISTED AND IT HURTS LIKE HELL HE EVEN HAS MY SON HANGING WITH THE TWO OF THEM HE KISSES HER INFRONT OF MY SON AND HE KNOW'S MY SON IS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON, MY SON SOMETIME GETS UPSET ABOUT IT AND DOESENT REALLY LIKE HER . THEN 3 DAYS AGO HE CALLS TO PICK UP MY SON AT MY MOM HOUSE CAUSE IVE BEEN AVOIDING HIM SINCE HE HURT ME SO MUCH I ENDED LETTING MY MOM COMMUNICATED WITH HIM INSTEAD OF ME, I ENDED UP PICKING UP THE PHONE HE SAID WHY DID I PUT HIM ON CHILD SUPPORT I TOLD HIM U HAVE NOT GIVEN ME ANY MONEY U ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING FOR US ALL U CARE IS ABOUT UR GIRLFRIEN THAT U HAVE BEEN HURTING ME WITH THROUGH OUT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP HIS ANSWE WAS NO NO NO ITS NOT LIKE THAT IM NOT HAPPY WITH HER I MADE A BIG MISTAKE IM SO SORRY FOR HURTING U ITS THAT WE WHERE CONSTANLY ARGUING AND WE WERE NOT BEING INTIMATE TOGETHER U WAS ALWAYS FIGHTING WITH ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND TOLD ME THAT U WAS CHEATING ON ME , MY ANSWER WAS THATS A LIE I NEVER CHEATED ON U AND SHE DOESENT KNOW ME TO BE TALKING ABOUT ME, ANY WAY HE STATRED SAYING HE IS NOT HAPPY WITH HER HE IS MISRABLE WITH OUT ME, THAT HE LOVES ME THAT WE HAVE BEEN TOGHETHER FOR 8 YR THAT HE IS SO SORRY BUT HE IS ONLY WITH HER FOR HER CAR(SHE HAS A 99 LEXUS TRUCK ) BUT I KNOW HE IS LYING SHE IS WAY PREATIER THAN ME AND SHE HAS MONEY WHICH SHE GIVES TO HIM AND HE ALWAYS HAS HER CAR, SHE IS A RICH LITTLE SPOILED BRATT THAT GETS WHAT EVER SHE WANTS FROM MOMY AND DADDY ANY WAYS THAT DAY WE TALKED HE HAD ASKED ME TO MEET HIM SOMEWHERE BECAUSE HE HAS REALLY MISSED ME AND LOVED ME AND NEEDED TO SEE ME, HE TOLD ME TO MEET HIM SOMEWHERE EXCLUSIVE NOT BY HIS MOM"S HOUSE BECAUSE HIS GIRLFRIEND HANGS BY HIS MOTHERS HOUSE ( WHICH I NO LONGER TALK TO BECAUSE HIS MOTHER BETRAYED ME, SHE KNEW THEY WERE MESSING AROUND AND DENIED IT) BUT THIS TIME I WAS SMART MY ANSWER WAS NO I WILL NOT PLAY THESE LITTLE KIDS GAMES ANY MORE IM A WOMEN AND KNOW WHAT I WANT NOT A GUY WHO TREATS ME LIKE U I WILL NO LONGER LET U TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME DO IT TO HER SHE IS 22YRS OLD FOOLISH LITTLE GIRL IM 26 YR OLD WISE ENOUGH NOT TO BE PLAYED WITH ANYMORE.. I MUST SAY THOUGH IT HURTS LIKE HELL NOW I HAVE TO RAISE MY SON WITH OUT A FATHER I REALLY LOVED HIM A LOT AS A RESULT OF THIS I ENDED UP IN THE HOSPITAL WITH SERIOUS DEPRESSION ABOUT TO COMMIT SUICIDE .. BUT THANK GOD I WISE UP I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SON WHO NEEDS ME AND A WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF ME, KNOW MY QUETION IS? WILL HE LATER CHEAT ON HER LIKE HE DID TO ME? BEACUSE THERE IS A SYING WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND . THEY BOTH HURT ME VERY MUCH AND I DONT THINK ITS FAIR THAT KNOW THEY END UP BEING HAPPY EVER AFTER , AFTER ALL THE PAIN AND EMBARESSMENT THEY CAUSED ME, WILL THAT RELATIONSHIP LAST? ALSO I REALLY WISH THAT SOME DAY WHEN I FIND SOMEONE AND FALL INLOVE AGAIN MY SON'S FATHER SEES HOW HAPPY I AM AND REGREATS HURTING ME AS BAD AS HE DID. PLEASE SOME ONE ANSWER ME?
uriel Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 I'm sorry you've been through this pain. You've done the right thing be leaving him for good. He's a liar and a cheat, one who isn't man enough to stand up for his family (you and your son) and stick by them. He's used you, and used this other woman. He's playing games in a very serious matter. He's old enough to know better; we can't put this down to just immaturity. That means, he's not likely to change. I believe that, yes, he will cheat on this other woman -- if he hasn't already. I don't believe he'll be faithful to any woman, given his poor values. I'm especially sorry that your son has to see his mother and feel himself so little valued by his father. But, you can show him what a woman who respects herself and her child acts like. You can demand to be treated well and valued as the mother of his son, even if it is over between you. You can also find a man who will be honorable and put you and your son first in his life. Tell your son that that's the kind of man you know he will grow up to be. Then, keep him out of and away from this pain as much as you possibly can. Take care -- uriel
Hannah BHDN Posted August 31, 2004 Posted August 31, 2004 Way to go uriel! First of all, why are you so mad at the "other woman"? SHE can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do! I don't know this guy or that woman, but I would be going after HIM not her! HE is the one cheating on you, not her... she is probably getting the smae bullsh*t story from him as you were getting..."I HAVE to stay with her, she is the mother of my son... I just can't leave her...yeah yeah yeah! And, hey, at least you don't have to BUY your MEN! You ask if anyone thinks he will cheat on her... you already answered your own question! HE was telling you he didn't love her... he's cheating... maybe not physically yet, but his heart is cheating. Something else to think about: What makes you think that the other woman was the ONLY one he ever cheated with? It doesn't sound like this man is loyal to anyone! He sounds like he is full of himself (and you're not helping, fighting over him like this) Either way, move on. That other womans mother was right... he is no good! Start doing things for yourself instead of him! YOU can't do anything to change him no matter what... all you can do is make yourself better and maybe one day you will also feel sorry for that other woman too, cause she's already getting some of the bull sh*t that he gave you!
Author FIORDALIZA Posted September 1, 2004 Author Posted September 1, 2004 hello, Just wanted to drop a thank you message to Uriel and Hannah, two people i dont even know, who took time out of thier life to actually give me some word of advise and encouragment, it really means a lot. To Hannah, the only reason i was mad at the girl was because one of my friends which is friends with her, adivsed her to leave him alone because he was playing game with her and that indeed he was still with me and that he was lieing to her, her answer was i dont care im going to make sure he leaves her, so the whole time she knew that we were together and slept with him knowing he was still with me, but i'll let the will of god be done, and forgive both of them cause i dont think they know the actual pain and emotional roller coster they put me through. As for me i just want to start a new chapter in my life and watch my son grow, i think it will be a while before i actually start to see someone again though, right now i feel burnt out and dont look foward on getting hurt by any guy ever again. Anyway thank you both i really apriciated your advise..... take care...
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