noaamore Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Me and my ex broke up almost 2 years ago, and we have not seen each other since, but started talking again last year, that's when she told me she has started seeing him and comes around to me (via Internet) to ask for my help on some general stuff. I was happy to help as for being a nice person. Today she emailed me for the help of her boyfriend's problem ( to do with visa application), in which I have more knowledge of. I got so shocked when I saw her email and it's under his name, I just wanted to reply and say "tell him to **** off", but I now think I should be calm and shouldn't do that, and just say that "Sorry I decline to help." and not put a bad word to it. How would anyone approach this situation, and how should I act? Thanks.
cdt76 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Don't reply to the message. Just disappear! She can hire a lawyer for the illegal bastard! 5
Author noaamore Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Don't reply to the message. Just disappear! She can hire a lawyer for the illegal bastard! Yes, I want to do that. I am so tired...of this kind of ****.. being abused as only comes when she needs help with something. Generally, when I want to make a conversation with her, it would be just like Hi, how's going, and she would ignore me until she needs something. Same thing happen to my previous girlfriends as well... I am so sad...and now I have no confidence what so ever in any relationships.
CarrieT Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 You need to tell her that by her asking you for help with her bf, she is crossing boundaries. You can be polite - and hopefully it will teach her a life lesson. Just say, "I appreciate the difficult spot you two are in, but I don't think it is appropriate that I should be the one you are turning to for assistance." Leave it at that. 3
CC12 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I am so sad...and now I have no confidence what so ever in any relationships. I hate to tell you that your feelings are wrong, but there's no real reason to be sad. You're letting this get to you way too much. Be annoyed. Be a little angry. But then forget about it because it's really nothing. An ex from two years ago contacted you to ask you for a favor. People do that all the time. It's not very nice of them, but a lot of people have absolutely no problem asking for favors. It doesn't have to be a big deal. You guys aren't friends, you're not trying to be her friend (right?) so feel free to ignore her requests for favors. Reserve your favors for people who deserve your help. 1
Author noaamore Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 I hate to tell you that your feelings are wrong, but there's no real reason to be sad. You're letting this get to you way too much. Be annoyed. Be a little angry. But then forget about it because it's really nothing. An ex from two years ago contacted you to ask you for a favor. People do that all the time. It's not very nice of them, but a lot of people have absolutely no problem asking for favors. It doesn't have to be a big deal. You guys aren't friends, you're not trying to be her friend (right?) so feel free to ignore her requests for favors. Reserve your favors for people who deserve your help. Yes, u're fight, I'm letting this get into my way too much, becos I still care that she broke up with me for him. I don't mind just helping her, and she can be with anyone else, I just hate the fact she is with him.
fixing Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Dont help the insensitive cow. She left you for him, let that mug deal with his own immigration troubles. And while your at it, tell her to emigrate outta your life.
Chi townD Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 You said it yourself. She ignores you unless she needs something. Dude, stop getting used. Move on and go NC on her. Remember, she fired you from the role of boyfriend, she told you your services are no longer required in that role. Now, would you continue to do a job for an employer that fired you for free? Hell no! So, stop doing her favors.
lovelifexx Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 It is totally insensitive of her. I would tell her exactly how I feel without using any bad language. It will just make you sound trashy. But I would tell her that it is unsensitive of her to ask you to help her bf who she left you for. A guy broke up with me a year ago in a terrible way. I went total NC as soon as he did it. Then after Christmas he sent me a text message: "Merry Xmas! Hope you are well! I just wanted to tell you I am going to be a father. It's a dream come true." I replied: "Congrats, but honestly why would you think I care after what you did to me?" Never heard from him again. It felt good.
H3Drvr Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Hmmm...maybe it's just my cruel sense of humor but if I was in your situation, I would reply with seemingly helpful advice. However, it would actually be advice that would forever ban her boyfriend from immigrating. Maybe even have him deported! Lol Like I said, sometimes I have a cruel sense of humor
flitzanu Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 didn't you kind of bring this on yourself? sure it's inappropriate for her to be asking you as her ex for help with this new guy, but you're the one talking and being friendly with her. if you're not capable of being friends and treating her as a friend, why are you still talking to her? if it bothers you this much you don't sound like you're actually over her.
SharkTooth Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I would simply say "REALLY?" and dissapear. But that's today. If it was 2 years post BU, I'd tell her how to do it thru his email and copy her email. Can you imagine being the douche bag dude that has to ask an ex how to fill something out? You'll be the bigger man as far as I'm concerned. Start it out with "Ready? Now pay attention"
thefooloftheyear Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 It never ceases to amaze me the things people will do..How friggin heartless and insensitive can someone be to ask an ex bf to "help" with the new bf? Really?? Tell her to go **** in her hat...and then wear it(or put it on her bf). Sheesh... TFOY
NoLeafClover Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 This is wat u need to do 1. Dont reply period 2. Reply with" are u asking me to help u with the guy u broke up with me for? U have a good one there. Have a good day hun. 3. use number 2 and in the end u help with the comment " sadness how far ppl would go to get some help for the needy" 4. I think u r emailing the wrong person.
Author noaamore Posted February 13, 2013 Author Posted February 13, 2013 This is wat u need to do 1. Dont reply period 2. Reply with" are u asking me to help u with the guy u broke up with me for? U have a good one there. Have a good day hun. 3. use number 2 and in the end u help with the comment " sadness how far ppl would go to get some help for the needy" 4. I think u r emailing the wrong person. hahaha, I like this one! Stupid ex-girlfriends, where do I meet someone nice!!!
Author noaamore Posted February 14, 2013 Author Posted February 14, 2013 Hmmm...maybe it's just my cruel sense of humor but if I was in your situation, I would reply with seemingly helpful advice. However, it would actually be advice that would forever ban her boyfriend from immigrating. Maybe even have him deported! Lol Like I said, sometimes I have a cruel sense of humor That's what I thought of doing, email the immigration officer and tell him that this guy is of a bad character and they did a good job to refuse his application. LOL!
Mcnulty Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 I don't think you're making too big a deal of this at all, you're right to feel agrieved at her. If she only contacts you when she wants something AND is insensitive enough to send you this bull**** request, you really should think about NC completely from this parasite. My exes BF, (who was my friend) actually emailed me asking for help dealing with her as she'd had an operation and was acting strange..ha, people are nuts man, get then shot out of your life, you're better than these idiots.
Author noaamore Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 I don't think you're making too big a deal of this at all, you're right to feel agrieved at her. If she only contacts you when she wants something AND is insensitive enough to send you this bull**** request, you really should think about NC completely from this parasite. My exes BF, (who was my friend) actually emailed me asking for help dealing with her as she'd had an operation and was acting strange..ha, people are nuts man, get then shot out of your life, you're better than these idiots. You're completely right, people are nuts and I really need to NC this parasite!! And it's harder and harder these days to get rid of them, cos you have Skype, Whatsapp... etc etc... far out.
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