Girls.. Dating out of you League...

[kaylan]

A guy is only as faithful and committed as his options.

 

That doesnt reflect too well on men does it?

 

That quote does apply to some women, but most women will want something somewhat meaningful by some point...men not so much

This is suuuuuch bull crap dude.

 

Plenty of guys are good dudes who simply want a good woman.

 

My best friends always has options, but he loves his girlfriend. Im the same way. Me thinks NYC isnt the reason dating has treated you bad.

 

I cant see how you arent meeting any of the decent fellows of the world...then again, having such a low opinion of men will keep you from doing that.

[Ruby Slippers]

the men around me always have a "trade up" mentality while women tend to be more satisfied...

He actually didn't seem to want to trade up. What his actions communicated to me is that he liked me a lot, thought we were very compatible, and could have a good life together. He thought I was the silly one for requiring "sparks" from his side. But since I felt them for him big time, it just didn't sit well with me that they weren't reciprocated.

 

But what I would do - not on purpose, but I recognize it in retrospect - is pull away from him. Then his fear of loss would kick in, and he'd get all super motivated to hold onto me. That's when he turned into a superhero - the way I think he would be most of the time with a girl he was really crushing on.

 

I could have manipulated the situation for a long time. I'd bet a lot of money that I could have married him and made babies with him if I'd wanted to. But what would be the point of that?

 

I don't want to use negative tactics to get what I want - not in love, not in friendship, not in my business, not in anything. I want to be with someone who's naturally fired up about me. And I'm sure that when he has to work REALLY hard to get the girl he wants, the superhero will come out big time.

 

I didn't consistently motivate that in him - but I can, and will, in others. I told him he'll be better off with a girl who really fires him up, and I'll be better off with a man who's really fired up by me. He'll understand once he meets that woman.

 

I wish all men would only go for women who really fire them up. But I understand that's asking a lot of men.

[Revolver]

There's alot of men who do want to "trade up"

 

 

But there's tons of women with the same mindset

[pbjbear]

There's alot of men who do want to "trade up"

 

 

But there's tons of women with the same mindset

 

None of my girlfriends have that mindset, nor my married co workers Im close with. They all think their bf's/husbands are awesome, while their bf's always lust after other girls inappropriately and act not all that committed to them...

Last week I got stuck hanging out with 3 of my older girlfriend's S.O's for an hour, and the things I heard them say about other women (we were at a restaurant) made me glad to be single...if they overheard their gf's saying stuff like that theyd be p-i-s-s-e-d but its okay for THEM to do it!

[Lonely Ronin]

I wonder how you treat them.

according to my friends and family, to well. After my ex-fiance of 8 yrs broke up with me, my mom told me she thought I was always to nice to her. A lot of my male and female friends tell me I'm to forgiving actually.

 

Have you ever been with your dream girl - or have you only had relationships with women you felt would do for the time being?

Yes, I have had 4 relationships with women I would describe as my dream girl. I have never asked a girl out I wasn't very physically attracted to. I can usually tell after a few dates, if I think we are a potential match socially/intellectually/romantically, etc.

[Ruby Slippers]

according to my friends and family, to well. After my ex-fiance of 8 yrs broke up with me, my mom told me she thought I was always to nice to her. A lot of my male and female friends tell me I'm to forgiving actually.

OK, so maybe it'll just take a simple adjustment in your behavior.

 

Unfortunately, most people tend to take a good thing for granted when they've got it. It seems that most relationships require some degree of challenge and conflict to keep both people on their toes.

 

I think that has always worked for me in my favor. I'm not afraid to face the big, uncomfortable stuff. And the older I get, the less timid I am about facing the harsh truths of life. At the same time, I am also very generous with people and forgive pretty easily.

 

I'm working on my own cocktail. It's not easy to get it just right.

[mesmerized]

He actually didn't seem to want to trade up. What his actions communicated to me is that he liked me a lot, thought we were very compatible, and could have a good life together. He thought I was the silly one for requiring "sparks" from his side. But since I felt them for him big time, it just didn't sit well with me that they weren't reciprocated.

 

But what I would do - not on purpose, but I recognize it in retrospect - is pull away from him. Then his fear of loss would kick in, and he'd get all super motivated to hold onto me. That's when he turned into a superhero - the way I think he would be most of the time with a girl he was really crushing on.

 

I could have manipulated the situation for a long time. I'd bet a lot of money that I could have married him and made babies with him if I'd wanted to. But what would be the point of that?

 

I don't want to use negative tactics to get what I want - not in love, not in friendship, not in my business, not in anything. I want to be with someone who's naturally fired up about me. And I'm sure that when he has to work REALLY hard to get the girl he wants, the superhero will come out big time.

 

I didn't consistently motivate that in him - but I can, and will, in others. I told him he'll be better off with a girl who really fires him up, and I'll be better off with a man who's really fired up by me. He'll understand once he meets that woman.

 

I wish all men would only go for women who really fire them up. But I understand that's asking a lot of men.

 

This is such a "I wish life was disney" post. Its very simple, majority of men only get "fired up" for women who are significantly above their league in the looks department. And guess what? Same men still will lose their fire either when the honeymoon phase passes or when the girl isn't a hottie anymore.

[pbjbear]

This is such a "I wish life was disney" post. Its very simple, majority of men only get "fired up" for women who are significantly above their league in the looks department. And guess what? Same men still will lose their fire either when the honeymoon phase passes or when the girl isn't a hottie anymore.

 

 

Today I want to kiss your feet.

[kaylan]

None of my girlfriends have that mindset, nor my married co workers Im close with. They all think their bf's/husbands are awesome, while their bf's always lust after other girls inappropriately and act not all that committed to them...

Last week I got stuck hanging out with 3 of my older girlfriend's S.O's for an hour, and the things I heard them say about other women (we were at a restaurant) made me glad to be single...if they overheard their gf's saying stuff like that theyd be p-i-s-s-e-d but its okay for THEM to do it!

The thing is, people can be perfectly happy and committed to their relationship, but still notice the opposite sex and make playful remarks amongst their friends.

 

I wouldnt be bothered if my gf noticed good looking guys or talked about them with her gfs. Id just chalk it up to regular girl time. At the end of the day, if a girls managed to have me make her my lady, then I obviously have trust in her and know shell be coming to me when she needs some emotional support or sexy time.

[Lonely Ronin]

This is such a "I wish life was disney" post. Its very simple, majority of men only get "fired up" for women who are significantly above their league in the looks department. And guess what? Same men still will lose their fire either when the honeymoon phase passes or when the girl isn't a hottie anymore.

 

I disagree, at least with regards to me & my close friends. The biggest killer for most of us, is a lack of desire to be with us. I'm a very passionate and affectionate guy, but I never show it until I feel comfortable, and I know it's wanted & valued. My best friend recently broke up with his ex, because she never really seemed happy to see him, even when they had been apart for weeks do to business trips and what not.

 

I don't think a lot of women understand how significant is to most men to feel wanted.

[Ruby Slippers]

This is such a "I wish life was disney" post. Its very simple, majority of men only get "fired up" for women who are significantly above their league in the looks department. And guess what? Same men still will lose their fire either when the honeymoon phase passes or when the girl isn't a hottie anymore.

Well, maybe I'm too much of a dreamer. But that's just who I am. I can't pretend to be anything else.

 

I know I'm very unhappy if a guy is behaving as if he's settling for me - especially if I feel that I'm lucky to be with him. How sad and blah!

 

And I would never subject a man to that, either. If I'm not feeling it for a guy, no matter what he brings to the table and how well he could take care of me, I just can't do it.

 

I don't expect that fire to last forever. But I strongly believe you NEED that as a foundation to build on, if you expect to last for a lifetime. I also have studied and experimented with different methods of rekindling it.

 

I have been with a man who was fired up over me for years. The only reason we split up is because his family was kinda crazy and very interfering, and I couldn't deal with them. I wasn't above him looks-wise. We were on the same level there. (And we both thought the other was cuter - but when you look at pictures, you can see we were a perfect match physically.) I was exactly his "type", and we had just about everything in common. The only thing we ever fought about was his family.

 

So I know it's possible. I also know that it's not hard for me to light up men and people. If I can do it again in the next few years, I should be able to manifest my dream life.

 

I came from nothing and am now running a successful, profitable business that I run on my terms, with total freedom (to post on LS all day ). I know how to make things happen. So I'm pretty confident in my ability to bring my crazy dreams to life.

 

And even if I fail, I think I inspire a lot of people along the way because I don't stop going for it.

[kaylan]

This is such a "I wish life was disney" post. Its very simple, majority of men only get "fired up" for women who are significantly above their league in the looks department. And guess what? Same men still will lose their fire either when the honeymoon phase passes or when the girl isn't a hottie anymore.

I wish I could show you all pictures of my ex. She got me fired up and she wasnt leaps and bounds above my league.

[ThaWholigan]

I disagree, at least with regards to me & my close friends. The biggest killer for most of us, is a lack of desire to be with us. I'm a very passionate and affectionate guy, but I never show it until I feel comfortable, and I know it's wanted & valued. My best friend recently broke up with his ex, because she never really seemed happy to see him, even when they had been apart for weeks do to business trips and what not.

 

I don't think a lot of women understand how significant is to most men to feel wanted.

I don't think it's that they don't understand, I think it's that the men that the ladies here have encountered have been ungrateful or undeserving as it turned out eventually.

[ThaWholigan]

Well, maybe I'm too much of a dreamer. But that's just who I am. I can't pretend to be anything else.

Same here - I'm a natural optimist (most of the time ), and very much a dreamer. It's difficult sometimes because my reality is simply different from that of others.

[Ruby Slippers]

Same here - I'm a natural optimist (most of the time ), and very much a dreamer. It's difficult sometimes because my reality is simply different from that of others.

If there's such a thing as Internet soul mates, you must be one of mine. Almost all of the time when I read your posts, I think yes yes yes!

[kaylan]

I'm sorry but who decides what league your in. Does this league divide into three categories, looks, personality and income.

 

Why is it, that women seem to settle. And this is where all the men say this is not true.

 

But when it comes to looks i often have never seen a girl jump out of her league.

 

Is it possible? I sound vain. How you as a woman every dated someone better looking then you?

Ive seen plenty of guys dating women men who I thought we better looking. Far be it from me though, to tell a guy he can get a hotter girl if the girl hes with is the person that sets him on fire.

[Keenly]

I disagree, at least with regards to me & my close friends. The biggest killer for most of us, is a lack of desire to be with us. I'm a very passionate and affectionate guy, but I never show it until I feel comfortable, and I know it's wanted & valued. My best friend recently broke up with his ex, because she never really seemed happy to see him, even when they had been apart for weeks do to business trips and what not.

 

I don't think a lot of women understand how significant is to most men to feel wanted.

 

Feeling wanted , to me, is actually in the top three of things that must be there in order for me.to date a girl. She has to want me, show it, appreciate my company.... on order for me to feel comfortable doing the same.

I can't even begin to describe as a man how good it feels to be desired. More importantly to be shown that you are desired.

[blue_jay_bird]

Ive seen plenty of guys dating women men who I thought we better looking. Far be it from me though, to tell a guy he can get a hotter girl if the girl hes with is the person that sets him on fire.

 

 

The reason i started this thread was because iv always dated men that where not as attractive as me. And as everyone has stated above its because it feels safe.

 

Now that im single, i feel like putting my foot down and getting a hottie. But im realizing, it's not working out. lol. (surprise trying to date someone because they are hot does not work (sarcasm)

 

Yes im being vain, but im single and i feel hey i want someone that can fire me up. It's all OLD.

 

I am know completely lost at how difficult it is. I feel like im going for men that are as attractive as me. But it's like they don't care. Now im doubting how attractive i am. It's so easy to date someone not as attractive as you. They are just happy that you pay attention to you.

 

Im not being greedy, but then i think.. maybe im not all that. Yes this is a very shallow post. But im not particularly looking for my soul mate either.

 

Rant rant...

 

My point is, i dated LOOKS wise bellow my league. It's easy, and they think you are the hottest thing on earth..

 

Dating someone just as hot as a woman, (and a decent person) seems to be a challenge. Because hotter woman normally date down. They seem to always be reaching, or unhappy...

 

..

[Untouchable_Fire]

The reason i started this thread was because iv always dated men that where not as attractive as me. And as everyone has stated above its because it feels safe.

Now that im single, i feel like putting my foot down and getting a hottie. But im realizing, it's not working out. lol. (surprise trying to date someone because they are hot does not work (sarcasm)

Yes im being vain, but im single and i feel hey i want someone that can fire me up. It's all OLD.

I am know completely lost at how difficult it is. I feel like im going for men that are as attractive as me. But it's like they don't care. Now im doubting how attractive i am. It's so easy to date someone not as attractive as you. They are just happy that you pay attention to you.

Im not being greedy, but then i think.. maybe im not all that. Yes this is a very shallow post. But im not particularly looking for my soul mate either.

Rant rant...

My point is, i dated LOOKS wise bellow my league. It's easy, and they think you are the hottest thing on earth..

Dating someone just as hot as a woman, (and a decent person) seems to be a challenge. Because hotter woman normally date down. They seem to always be reaching, or unhappy... ..

 

This should not be happening to you. More than likely you have been dating within your league for some time and just got used to men blowing sunshine up your butt.

 

What kind of "attractive men" are you talking about anyway? Six pack ab type guys? That might explain your problem too.

[pbjbear]

The thing is, people can be perfectly happy and committed to their relationship, but still notice the opposite sex and make playful remarks amongst their friends.

 

I wouldnt be bothered if my gf noticed good looking guys or talked about them with her gfs. Id just chalk it up to regular girl time. At the end of the day, if a girls managed to have me make her my lady, then I obviously have trust in her and know shell be coming to me when she needs some emotional support or sexy time.

 

It was beyond that. There are boundaries with those kind of things...they were all reminscing heavily about being single and about how much it sucks to be tied down

[Lonely Ronin]

I am know completely lost at how difficult it is. I feel like im going for men that are as attractive as me. But it's like they don't care.

It's not that they don't care, it's that they want more than just looks. The higher you reach/are the more you have to bring to the table. I for example have never dumped a woman for physical attraction reasons, it's always been because of a personality conflict.

[Fatdrifter]

Well it could be explained. A lot of the good looking men never commit, good looking women still want commitment so they'd have to date down. Very unattractive women are the bottom of barrel that don't get anything.

 

Sounds like tripe. I've never held a girl to some unrealistic standard where on my side it's like "hey look! A nice guy! Lets kill him!"

 

I once had a severely obese girl tell me she was "out of my league" online because she suddenly got all uppity over something.

 

Clearly she WAS out of my league. Out of the league of decency.

[Ruby Slippers]

A lot of the same "rules" apply for women dating very hot men as for men dating very hot women.

 

One of the big ones is: Don't treat him as anything special because of his looks. He's heard that a million times, and it's boring. Get to know other aspects of him - his mind, his heart, his goofy side.

 

Another is: Don't put up with crap you wouldn't normally put up with just because he's hot. He's used to women bending over backwards for him because he's hot. You will catch and hold his attention longer by being different.

 

Very hot people want to be truly loved and understood just like everybody else. The problem is that so many people are so starstruck by them that they act like idiots and have no self-respect when dealing with them.

[Nik1]

I have been told I am ugly online on this website,

Who said that, Simon Cowell?

[Lonely Ronin]

a lot of the same "rules" apply for women dating very hot men as for men dating very hot women.

 

One of the big ones is: Don't treat him as anything special because of his looks. He's heard that a million times, and it's boring. Get to know other aspects of him - his mind, his heart, his goofy side.

 

Another is: Don't put up with crap you wouldn't normally put up with just because he's hot. He's used to women bending over backwards for him because he's hot. You will catch and hold his attention longer by being different.

 

Very hot people want to be truly loved and understood just like everybody else. The problem is that so many people are so starstruck by them that they act like idiots and have no self-respect when dealing with them.

 

^^^ = truth