pbjbear Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I admit that men especially in your city can be like that but women are no better. There are quite a few NYC women who want to live the Sex and the City lifestyle. There are actually some that moved there for that purpose. Most people don't move to the big city to settle down. In these times if you are a relationship oriented person is it not easy whether you are a man or a woman. That's just the way it is these days. It's not the fault of one gender or the other. I know a few women like this (mostly some co workers) but I know tons of NYC women that are more down to earth and commitment-friendly than the girls in Sex and the City. There are some women who arent relationship oriented, but the % of men who arent is much higher. I really cannot even blame the men, the average men here do so well. Why should they settle down in a relationship when they can get tons of women so easily?
ThaWholigan Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Sure I can see that. Feeling attractive boosts your own confidence. Thats why you should exercise if you dont. Just exercising alone boosts confidence! I see dont see the point why guys fret over not looking really hot though, its not as big of a deal as women not being hot. Its a bigger deal to a lot of us, more than you realise. Whether you think it's valid or not, it does matter . It took me a little while to not bother so much about it. Think most guys should try to do the same.
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Sure I can see that. Feeling attractive boosts your own confidence. Thats why you should exercise if you dont. Just exercising alone boosts confidence! I see dont see the point why guys fret over not looking really hot though, its not as big of a deal as women not being hot. you don't need to understand why, all you need to understand is that it matters to us (generally speaking).
normal person Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I feel like since men put a lot of stock in a girl's looks, it's hard for them to comprehend that a girl doesn't put as much into a guy's. I know tons of NYC women that are more down to earth and commitment-friendly than the girls in Sex and the City. Can I have their number(s)?
Revolver Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 From what ive observed, The main problem most women have in dating is that the guys that they actually are interested In either don't want anything to do with them or just want to keep it sexual. And the guys who actually do want long term relationships are losers who no one wants. It's a tough spot
pbjbear Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 From what ive observed, The main problem most women have in dating is that the guys that they actually are interested In either don't want anything to do with them or just want to keep it sexual. And the guys who actually do want long term relationships are losers who no one wants. It's a tough spot A guy is only as faithful and committed as his options. That doesnt reflect too well on men does it? That quote does apply to some women, but most women will want something somewhat meaningful by some point...men not so much
ThaWholigan Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 A guy is only as faithful and committed as his options. That doesnt reflect too well on men does it? That quote does apply to some women, but most women will want something somewhat meaningful by some point...men not so much Nothing ever reflects well on us
pbjbear Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I don't really know what the hell you're talking about I have a lot of friends who are good looking, athletic, confident and nice who are in happy monogamous relationships and love their girlfriend to death. I'm in the same boat in that all I've ever wanted is a girlfriend. Even if I had a lot of options, I would just want a girlfriend You need to stop your misandrist nonsense. Sure some guys just want to be single and bang different women all the time, but lots and lots of guys just want to have a girlfriend. Hell, even most of the player types would become committed for the right girl Where do you live? Most men I know that fit your description do not want to settle down, doesnt matter how awesome the girl is. In my experience, player types would only commit to a girl who is insanely out of their league, if they ever do commit (many wont)
Revolver Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 A guy is only as faithful and committed as his options. That doesnt reflect too well on men does it? That quote does apply to some women, but most women will want something somewhat meaningful by some point...men not so much Men want something meaningful... Just with their ideal woman and if they don't get that their perfectly willing to play the field for life. I don't see anything wrong with that, I mean why settle?
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 A guy is only as faithful and committed as his options. That doesnt reflect too well on men does it? That quote does apply to some women, but most women will want something somewhat meaningful by some point...men not so much BS. I'm a 7-9 (what I have been told by female friends & exs) on my looks alone. I've been told as a person no woman is out of my league countless times when you look at me as a whole person. I'm by far the most relationship minded man in my vast social circle, and I can't find a woman who wants me to save my life. I seem to run into women who either think i just want to sleep with them, or who are interested in me for who they think I am, and not who I actually am. I'm being coerced into doing online dating by a couple female friends after v-day. They where like either you make a profile or we will....... 2
pbjbear Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Men want something meaningful... Just with their ideal woman and if they don't get that their perfectly willing to play the field for life. I don't see anything wrong with that, I mean why settle? Ideal woman= insanely hot woman who will tend to their every need and expect nothing in return. Emphasis on the insanely hot
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Men want something meaningful... Just with their ideal woman and if they don't get that their perfectly willing to play the field for life. I don't see anything wrong with that, I mean why settle? I partially agree, I'd rather be alone than settle.
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Ideal woman= insanely hot woman who will tend to their every need and expect nothing in return. Emphasis on the insanely hot Ideal woman = woman I'm attracted to, who wants me. 4
Revolver Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 What's "insanely hot" to me and what's "insanely hot" to the next man varies. I've seen men in beautiful LTR's with women I don't even find remotely attractive, but that's the women of their dreams who completes them so I can't be mad. And it's not just looks, it's the whole package. I've dated and slept with women who were attractive but they'll never be my wife of mother of my children.
Drseussgrrl Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 BS. I'm a 7-9 (what I have been told by female friends & exs) on my looks alone. I've been told as a person no woman is out of my league countless times when you look at me as a whole person. I'm by far the most relationship minded man in my vast social circle, and I can't find a woman who wants me to save my life. I seem to run into women who either think i just want to sleep with them, or who are interested in me for who they think I am, and not who I actually am. I'm being coerced into doing online dating by a couple female friends after v-day. They where like either you make a profile or we will....... Alright, let's do this! Seriously though - be prepared for one big huge fat let-down with online dating.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I've been with men who thought I was a bombshell and men who thought I was OK (and I looked basically the same). The men who thought I was a bombshell were on fire to please me, provide for me, totally win me over. Their attraction obviously motivated them tremendously. It's like they were lit up with this raging magic. They didn't generate that. It just happened. Can you blame a man for trying to find someone who lights him up like that? I stopped being 'on fire' to please a woman long ago. I think it's stupid to bend over backwards for any particular woman just because she has a pretty face or whatnot. I treat them all the same regardless of looks. I light up because she lights up. I think that is how a relationship should work. We both work to make each other happy, with lots of give and take. That kind of deep bond takes passion to a completely new level! The kind of passion where you find yourself having sex in the bathroom stall of a fancy restaurant.
Woggle Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Why should anybody settle down unless they are truly in love with somebody? What's the point otherwise? 1
pbjbear Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I live in the midwest, perhaps things are different in NYC but tons and tons of guys here just want to have a girlfriend. In terms of "insanely hot", they just want somebody who is about as attractive as themselves and who is a nice person A close friend of mine looks very similar to this - http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMjA2Nzk2Mjk1NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzY0Nzg5Mg@@._V1._SX640_SY934_.jpg and he's crazy about his girlfriend (who is very pretty, but certainly no better looking than he is) I think your issue is that you have a very negative attitude towards men and that leads you to see what you want to see, instead of real life I think NYC women are negative about men, for good reason. My views have been expressed over and over again by women around me. If I got a nickel for everytime I heard a female say "dont look for a relationship in NYC, you wont get one" Id be rich. But I wont argue because you live in the midwest and you prob have no idea what im really talking about...and thats a good thing. Link didnt work...but I believe ya
pbjbear Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 this ^^^^ I don't even want a woman who is more attractive than I am, just about my league or maybe a little lower A little lower? You are a needle in a haystack. I should prob find a forum for New Yorkers, because LS men arent typical
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Alright, let's do this! Seriously though - be prepared for one big huge fat let-down with online dating. Why? Online dating rules!
man_in_the_box Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 First, let us get this straight, we are talking about looks here not anything else. I disagree. The original post clearly indicated that it was about leagues, which certainly includes locks but also personality/money and I think there's more factors that come into play. And it is the case that a lot of women are stuck being single, specially in the minority population of states which is well documented. Now this could be about much more than their looks not being the most desired but Im sure it is still a relevant factor. I'm very curious to this documentation. Could you perhaps link something quick? I'm not asking this to discredit you or something, I'm just really intrigued. If it really appears that men and women are not paired off equally on a global scale because of men's high standards I would really like to see it. If it means I'm proven wrong then so be it. I'm not here to force my opinion down anyone's throat - if it means I'm wrong then I'm wrong.
jenwon Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 What accounts as a attractive man varies a lot from woman to woman. But women are just as bad as men, but in different ways. The one thing that seems universal for woman is height. Short Man = Fat Woman.
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Seriously though - be prepared for one big huge fat let-down with online dating. O trust me, I am.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I'm a 7-9 (what I have been told by female friends & exs) on my looks alone. I've been told as a person no woman is out of my league countless times when you look at me as a whole person. I'm by far the most relationship minded man in my vast social circle, and I can't find a woman who wants me to save my life. I seem to run into women who either think i just want to sleep with them, or who are interested in me for who they think I am, and not who I actually am. I wonder how you treat them. The only real reason I dumped my ex is that, even though he was doing most of the right things as a boyfriend and clearly put in a lot of effort to make it work, he still gave off the impression that he thought he could do better and hadn't quite found his dream girl yet. I basically called him on this, and it sounded to me like he was ready to settle for me because he wasn't confident in his ability to find his dream girl. But I wasn't going for that. I'd rather be alone, or be with less of a "catch" who's really fired up about me. Have you ever been with your dream girl - or have you only had relationships with women you felt would do for the time being? Reasonably intelligent women can tell how you see them. And no girl wants to be anything less than her man's dream girl (unless it's just ****ing, and then it doesn't matter).
pbjbear Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I wonder how you treat them. The only real reason I dumped my ex is that, even though he was doing most of the right things as a boyfriend and clearly put in a lot of effort to make it work, he still gave off the impression that he thought he could do better and hadn't quite found his dream girl yet. I basically called him on this, and it sounded to me like he was ready to settle for me because he wasn't confident in his ability to find his dream girl. But I wasn't going for that. I'd rather be alone, or be with less of a "catch" who's really fired up about me. Have you ever been with your dream girl - or have you only had relationships with women you felt would do for the time being? Reasonably intelligent women can tell how you see them. And no girl wants to be anything less than her man's dream girl (unless it's just ****ing, and then it doesn't matter). This sums up most relationships Ive seen. The guy settles even though the girl is his level (or sometimes even too good for him!) I have NO idea why women get the bad rep for never being satisfied...and no, Im not seeing what I want to see and being negative...the men around me always have a "trade up" mentality while women tend to be more satisfied...
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