StraylightRun24 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Hey guys I just thought I'd post a little update on my situation tonight because to be honest I'm sort of having a rough night and thought it might be a little therapeutic to vent a little. If you aren't familiar with my story here it is. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/369938-broken-up-because-lack-spark While I know it's nowhere as traumatic (some could even say it was even merciful) as some of your stories on here I have to say for the short amount of time I was with this girl I can honestly say she's the first girl I've actually been in love with (I'm 28 by the way...I guess I'm a late bloomer). So to get to the point, yesterday was 6 weeks of NC, besides the "accidental" viewing of her Facebook last Monday, and I really wish I could say I'm doing better, but I really don't know. I know it's stupid because I am in fact doing better because I vividly remember the first week of the BU's numbness, lack of appetite, hardly sleeping and when I was lucky enough to get a couple hours of sleep I'd wake up and be completely awake because of her being in my dreams. The last time we spoke she offered me the olive branch of "friendship" which I told her wasn't possible at this time and would appreciate if she didn't contact me, which she hasn't. So after another day of having her continually creep into my mind I decide to put on some leisure clothes for the night and my usual ones are in the wash so I decide to put on a shirt I sometimes wear to sleep and low and behold it smells like her....I guess the last time I wore it was the last time I spent the night at her house before the BU and it somehow (I will allow judgement on my cleanliness:)) got mixed in with my clean clothes. It's really making me miss her so much right now. This is the first girl I've actually gone the NC route with. The last two girls I was involved with, one happened to be in the same social circle and other worked with me so NC was pretty hard to comply with. This was the first time that I could make a clean break and I know deep down it was the right decision because with the last two girls I carried a torch for them long after it was over. Smelling her on the shirt just really got to me I guess. BTW I don't plan on breaking NC. While I miss her a lot this has reinforced the fact that I am no where near being close enough to talk/see her in a "friendly" light. I also have come to the conclusion I really have to make an conscious effort to work on me and my happiness. Maybe I'm having such a rough time with this because of the combination of her being my first love, the unexpected BU, and the first time I've actually gone NC. I don't really know. All I know is tonight I really miss having her in my life....
lollipop29 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Keep up the good work; glad to hear you won't give up NC. Seems like you are making progress, even if you can't always tell. Imagine how miserable you felt right after the break up. Understand that it HAS gotten easier and better since then, even if it's just a little bitter. One day you will wake up and the pain will be so dull that you will barely even notice it. 6 weeks may sound like a long time, but it's not that long in the grand scheme of things. You are doing a great job. Make a list of all her flaws or things that annoyed you, or reasons it wouldn't work out. And look at that whenever you need to.
Author StraylightRun24 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Keep up the good work; glad to hear you won't give up NC. Seems like you are making progress, even if you can't always tell. Imagine how miserable you felt right after the break up. Understand that it HAS gotten easier and better since then, even if it's just a little bitter. One day you will wake up and the pain will be so dull that you will barely even notice it. 6 weeks may sound like a long time, but it's not that long in the grand scheme of things. You are doing a great job. Make a list of all her flaws or things that annoyed you, or reasons it wouldn't work out. And look at that whenever you need to. Thanks lollipop for the kind words. I guess I've sort of been hoodwinking myself into believing that I'd wake up one morning and POOF all the heartache would be gone, which I know is stupid. Last night while lying in bed I resigned to the fact that it's going to take as long as it takes BUT from tomorrow (which is now today) I'm going to work on myself and my happiness. I realized that a lot of my problems/issues (which ever you want to call them) were around long before the BU and it has just magnified the negativity in my life. It's also a good idea to make that list. While my ex was really a good person and I really want to believe didn't want to hurt me she did have her flaws and there were plenty of reasons (most importantly her moving across the country) why it wouldn't have worked out. Maybe when she comes creeping into my head today at work I'll write that list!
fixing Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 6 weeks is great. Keep it up son, keep it up! I know the smell of your ex on the clothes is a killer... Like you said, today is a new day, work and love yourself. So, your 6 weeks NC and day 1 of 'the better you' 1
Author StraylightRun24 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 6 weeks is great. Keep it up son, keep it up! I know the smell of your ex on the clothes is a killer... Like you said, today is a new day, work and love yourself. So, your 6 weeks NC and day 1 of 'the better you' Thanks fixing. I am trying real hard today to push her out of my mind every time she creeps in and think of things I can do in my life to better my situation. While she was the initial cause of my heartache it's now on me to start getting over it and hopefully along the way start loving myself a little more. I really should be thankful that she respected/cared enough about me (maybe that's just wishful thinking?) to actually respect my wish and not contact me like she wanted to. I've experienced the breadcrumbs before and it makes everything so much worse. Ironically I'm still bummed that she hasn't....gotta love being in love! lol
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