Skipper888 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Hey guys just need some advice/vent. My gf and I recently just stopped seeing each other she needs space to decide what she wants. We have been together for about 18 months on a long distance relationship. Im 26 and she is 22. Both work in remote areas. Everything was awesome she was my best friend and I was hers and things started getting different just before Christmas when she moved sites. She met new friends and was living a life of a normal 22yr old. Silly me use to get upset cause I felt like I was always missing out of sharing her life with her and would always cause silly fights. I never knew she was starting to get in happy. She told me that things were getting rocky before Christmas that's when it hit me how much she meant to me and she meant the world to me so I made sure I was there for her all the time and things were perfect until Friday. We were together going to the shops and both were in love and happy and everything. Then we got home and she was sad. Bloody Ed Sheehan playing in the back ground didn't help. I asked h what was wrong and she said nothing then I finally got it out of her that. I asked if she wasn't happy with me anymore and she couldn't answer me. We both broke down in tears. We talked a little bit and she said all she ever wanted was me and then things changed and she got feelings for another guy but doesn't have them now. She said this is what she has wanted from the start but she doesn't know anymore. What triggered everything was seeing the guy she had feelings for. I did blame her because she is a young girl in a mining town and when u work with people and they are in your life's everyday that happens. She loves me so much I know she does. I have even moved for her so we could be closer and see each other Each weekend. I've told her how I feel, and I've given her space, she texted me last night a picture of a present I gave her with a smiley face and I asked how she was and she said not very good babe and she needs a lot more time. I totally understand where she is coming from. She is young wants to travel, be a 22yr old go to parties etc. and I know she is doubting our love, I even doubted for a while there. She said if you are really in love with someone and are happy you shouldn't get feelings for other people. I really just don't know what to do. I have just moved away from my family and friends to be with her and this has happened. I can't sit and wait for her n not know. It hurts the most that I don't make her happy anymore. I just yeah am heartbroken. Thanks for allowing to vent. Sorryi if it was rather long. And i know no one really knows what is going through her heads.
Still Searching Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Not a fun position to be in. I'm 26, and the last two girls I have dated were two and three years younger than me. I never thought the age difference would matter, but I personally think it does. Until most people are into their mid or late 20's, it seems they're not sure what they want out of life and love. I know I didn't at that age. I've learned my lesson, and am now hoping to find someone my age or even a bit older who has had their fun and is ready for something serious, while at the same time knowing what being serious means. Like I said, there are exceptions, and extremely mature people in their early 20's. I don't really have any advice at the moment. I've been there, waiting, hoping, giving them their space and time to figure things out. In my cases, after a while you kind of know what's coming, and yep, they usually say they can't do it anymore. I'm not trying to be a pessimist, just speaking from personal experience. I tend to think pretty black and white (too much so, at times). To me, it's either you want it or you don't. Probably not that simple most times... Hang in there, and know that no matter the outcome, you'll be fine. Initially it'll suck if things don't work, but read these forums for some good insight and advice. Hoping it works out for you though.
Author Skipper888 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 You hit the nail on the head.. I believe exactly the same thing. I think it is black and white. She is very mature for her age we are both scientists and she has so much responsibility in her life and all she ever wanted was to be with me forever, which scared the heck out of me and I never gave her my full heart and now that I'm finally in that place she has changed. She rang me the Friday night crying and saying that she loves me, she couldn't speak to me anymore though and hung up, last time I've heard her voice
Still Searching Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Sounds somewhat similar to my situation. My ex of 9 months moved very quickly, wanting to move in together after 3 months, bringing up the word marriage and talking kids at 7 months. Maybe hypothetical, but it still worried me a bit. I tend to be more cautious, and would prefer to let the honeymoon phase run its course before taking that next step, in order for true character to show through and prevent ending up in some less than ideal situations later on. Anyway, what I was getting at is that I was finally getting to the point she'd always wanted me to, opening up more, considering moving in together, viewing love a bit more like she did. Once I felt I was there, conveniently it was too late and she didn't want to make it work anymore. Said she was always pushing, I was always one step behind her. How can you fault a person for that? Those feelings are supposed to occur naturally, and can't be forced.
Author Skipper888 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 yeah exactly same situation.. but it was hard for me to do those things she wanted.. i was at university she had graduated and got a job.. im just heartbroken that i let things happen the way they did.. i know things arnt going to be the same and that they are over.. just yeah
Author Skipper888 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 valentines day is coming up not sire if i should do something for her
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