Author calgary Posted February 14, 2013 Author Posted February 14, 2013 Find comfort in knowing that in a few months, your ex will come crawling back, looking for a second chance with you. Really, implant this notion deep into your head because in many cases, this is exactly what happens. Now, you are very lucky my friend...you were just granted a brief hall pass to go out, have fun, hang with buddies and meet other women. Enjoy life and when your ex comes crawling back, you can play it by ear. Maybe you will have already met someone else, maybe not, but just keep the idea in your head that she's just taking a prolonged vacation. Don't view your situation as if you were dumped. I like this way of thinking, it made me laugh to read actually which I needed right now so thank you! I just read your thread on staying friends.. its funny I went no contact for 3 weeks and she started harassing me to give me back a t-shirt.. which lead to coffee which lead to her asking to be friends.. I said no deleted contact.. bumped into her the week after she told me her problems.. which lead to more coffee.. i'm happy with all this new found free time and I am getting quite a bit of attention... the problem is, is i don't know if i could take her back in a few months when i know she's been with other people. i'm a jealous kind of person.
Still Searching Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 I like this way of thinking, it made me laugh to read actually which I needed right now so thank you! I just read your thread on staying friends.. its funny I went no contact for 3 weeks and she started harassing me to give me back a t-shirt.. which lead to coffee which lead to her asking to be friends.. I said no deleted contact.. bumped into her the week after she told me her problems.. which lead to more coffee.. i'm happy with all this new found free time and I am getting quite a bit of attention... the problem is, is i don't know if i could take her back in a few months when i know she's been with other people. i'm a jealous kind of person. I'm with you. Maybe not right, but I told my ex that the only way I'd want to hear from her is if she wanted to make things work, but if she'd been with anyone else, forget it. I guess it's because I viewed sex as something special between us, a deep emotional connection, and somehow it'd be ruined after being with someone else...stupid, probably. 1
Author calgary Posted February 14, 2013 Author Posted February 14, 2013 I'm with you. Maybe not right, but I told my ex that the only way I'd want to hear from her is if she wanted to make things work, but if she'd been with anyone else, forget it. I guess it's because I viewed sex as something special between us, a deep emotional connection, and somehow it'd be ruined after being with someone else...stupid, probably. nothing wrong with that in my eyes. sex with somebody else would be the end of her for me. i'd never talk to her again.. shes only been with one other guy apart from me.. that's so rare these days! makes it even worse!
AlexfromBoston Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 I like this way of thinking, it made me laugh to read actually which I needed right now so thank you! I just read your thread on staying friends.. its funny I went no contact for 3 weeks and she started harassing me to give me back a t-shirt.. which lead to coffee which lead to her asking to be friends.. I said no deleted contact.. bumped into her the week after she told me her problems.. which lead to more coffee.. i'm happy with all this new found free time and I am getting quite a bit of attention... the problem is, is i don't know if i could take her back in a few months when i know she's been with other people. i'm a jealous kind of person. Calgary, I am personally a fan of the "friendzone" method because it has always worked for me. After all, before you two dated, you both met on friendly, non-romantic terms. You basically have to imitate the behavior that you exhibited when you first me and you can win her back. Just learn from your mistakes. And in the interim, meet some more women and have fun. I have been called a troll in the past for touting the friendzone method...im glad you are working it buddy. I wish you luck.
AlexfromBoston Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 I like this way of thinking, it made me laugh to read actually which I needed right now so thank you! I just read your thread on staying friends.. its funny I went no contact for 3 weeks and she started harassing me to give me back a t-shirt.. which lead to coffee which lead to her asking to be friends.. I said no deleted contact.. bumped into her the week after she told me her problems.. which lead to more coffee.. i'm happy with all this new found free time and I am getting quite a bit of attention... the problem is, is i don't know if i could take her back in a few months when i know she's been with other people. i'm a jealous kind of person. Oh and I forgot to add, if you truly love her and care for her don't worry about what she was doing during her break from you. As long as she was safe, there is nothing wrong with a female exploring her sexuality. If you can trust her, then don't worry about her past.
Author calgary Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 Calgary, I am personally a fan of the "friendzone" method because it has always worked for me. After all, before you two dated, you both met on friendly, non-romantic terms. You basically have to imitate the behavior that you exhibited when you first me and you can win her back. Just learn from your mistakes. And in the interim, meet some more women and have fun. I have been called a troll in the past for touting the friendzone method...im glad you are working it buddy. I wish you luck. it's weird, when i'm with her I can sort of tell she's trying her hardest to not like me? do you know what I mean, like you feel like she could just cave and kiss you at any second? but she's reserved.. it's either like I embarrassed her infront of people? or she's making me work ridiculously hard? or she's done something already and knows i'll be upset so it won't work out ? I don't know I can't explain. but to hold my hand.. that's not what friends do right ? I can't tell if I will turn this around or not ! i'm taking forever to reply to her texts at the moment. and I can't agree.. if she has sex with somebody else it'd ruin everything for me. call me old fashioned haha! thanks for your input so far! really enjoyed your threads/approach!
A n t h o n y Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 it's weird, when i'm with her I can sort of tell she's trying her hardest to not like me? do you know what I mean, like you feel like she could just cave and kiss you at any second? but she's reserved.. it's either like I embarrassed her infront of people? or she's making me work ridiculously hard? or she's done something already and knows i'll be upset so it won't work out ? I don't know I can't explain. but to hold my hand.. that's not what friends do right ? I can't tell if I will turn this around or not ! i'm taking forever to reply to her texts at the moment. and I can't agree.. if she has sex with somebody else it'd ruin everything for me. call me old fashioned haha! thanks for your input so far! really enjoyed your threads/approach! Let me tell you my story because its scary similar. Ex of 2 years left me for some older guy started realizing he was garbage we talked in my car she constantly, crying blah blah, cheated on him with me ( regret that so much ) and it got to the point where she would just show up at my house beating on my window. But at the end of the day she always ended up with him. I started dating a new girl hadn't heard from the Ex for a week and she shows up on my steps bawling her eyes out wanting me back but at this point I was fed up with her non-sense and kicked her ass to the curb. Honestly man you deserve better, trust me when I say being someone's bitch / tampon / emotional sponge drains you and it isn't worth it. 1
Sugarkane Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 A lot of these dumpers have never been dumped themselves before. Partly explains why they're so callous.
eduardo23 Posted February 15, 2013 Posted February 15, 2013 Its a trap! I don't know your story, but doesn't sound like your ex is going to change whatever caused the relationship to falter in the first place. The things she did and said... they aren't much different from what many other exs have said in a moment of loneliness. I'm positive there's a few things you could have done to improve the relationship, and there are things she could have done, "it's not you it's me" is a complete cop out. I suggest you don't get hung up over this, try to learn what happened in the relationship, what you and her could have done better, what kind of things you want etc.. If you know the answers to these things it will help you see if there is really potential for you and your ex or another person you meet in the future. Win win.
Author calgary Posted February 15, 2013 Author Posted February 15, 2013 thanks ! yeh we broke up because I was 'jealous' she was just flirty in nature. she was oblivious she was leading people on really. like she'd be talking to a guy friend who'd be holding her hands and stuff. I hated it. so I broke it off in hopes she would take it seriously but it just pushed her away. I think if I walk away from her now she'll wonder what happened. and where I've gone because she probably thinks she can have me anytime she wants.
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