lilyblue Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Hi, Thanks to anyone that reads this first off. My good friend of many years/boyfriend of a very short time "dumped" me and got back together with his ex-wife a little under a year and a half ago. I put that in quotes because he didn't actively do anything - he disappeared and never told me what was going on. He has never talked to me. One day - poof - he was gone and would not respond to me no matter what I did. I know I still have not recovered from this, and I still don't really know how. And I think that was the start of a downward spiral for me. I feel like I have been left by all my friends, which makes me wonder how good they were to begin with, and that I'm just going to be alone forever. I've tried doing new things, and nothing really helps. I'm so lonely and I still think about him and miss him all the time which feels really sad at this point. I'm super depressed and I just don't really know what to do.
Frank13 Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Although we didn't end like you, I am feeling the exact same way as you on all the points mentioned. Plus, I am not a young guy so I feel even more isolated from society. Everyone at work is young so no one wants to friends with an older guy. Also your dating options become much more limited when you are older. You can't ask out anyone you are attracted to. They have to be your age or you will be thought of as a creep. It's getting to the point where I feel life is pretty much over and I no longer see a point to it. Not suicidal, but just not happy with it.
Author lilyblue Posted February 19, 2013 Author Posted February 19, 2013 Thanks for your reply. Yep, exactly. Not happy with it, but doesn't seem to be many other options. I've been single since, have tried dating, but no one wants me, so I think that makes me cling more to the past, when I was so happy with someone who told me how happy I made him. Like I said above, we didn't date that long, but we had been such close friends for so long that everything just seemed "right". There was lots of talk on his part about how glad he was that timing had finally worked out. And it just seemed like that is what had happened, and it was meant to be. And I was just so happy with him and around him. I still can't get over it, and I don't know how to. I would love to see him and talk to him for even 2 minutes and I think that would really help me move on (I know this has worked for me in the past with another relationship). I don't know what else to try.
Mcnulty Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Lily, I'm so sorry for what you're going through, still after a year and a half. Closure, they say comes from within, but i don't know if i believe that saying. Could you not contact him one more time, and just ask, why? At least then, the closure may be nearer as you could say you tried and if he ignores, then would that not help you to move forward? Frank, your life is far from over, the changes you can make in your life are limitless, but only you can bring about these changes. I know it's hard, you feel older and that there are less opportunities, I hear you, but do you not think there are others out there echoing your thoughts, believe me there are. A postive attitude is hard to muster on a daily basis, when you've become so accustomed to feeling so low, but only you can bring about these changes. I encourage and ask you both to please try - the past is gone and the future is not pre-ordained, the here and now, today is all that matters if you simplify it, please try and I wish you both strength and luck, you both seem like good people who've had a crap deal.
Author lilyblue Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 Thanks Mcnulty. Funny you write that today, because earlier today I decided I'm going to write down what I want to say, block my number, and just call him. I'll get out what I can and he can either reply or hang up, but at least I will have the experience of being heard. I'm going to start writing right now. I'm going to keep it short and concise. I hope so much that it gets it out of me once and for all.
Author lilyblue Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 And then I ran into his wife yesterday. Kind of terrible. Definitely didn't help things. We didn't talk, but definitely saw each other and were the only two in the room. One of the more awkward ways to run into her I could think of and really made me feel like crap.
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