meeji Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 I have been marking them off on the calendar. Last day we saw each other: Jan 30th He contacted me on January 31st. I waited until Feb 1st to reply. He contacted me again on Feb 3rd. I did not reply. so.. at first it was very hard. I would literally sit in my room and just think about him. I couldn't stop running the story over and over in my mind at work or while out with friends. I held myself together pretty well bc a lot of people said they didn't realize that I was so affected by the breakup. I cried a lot behind closed doors though. I was going to the gym before but not regularly. I now have a regular schedule again. I went on w dates. 2 that I knew weren't going to be anything. I just needed to get myself out the house and stroke my own ego just a bit. I felt guilty about this, so shut down anything related to dating. I told the guys that I wasn't going to see them again and that I was emotionally unavailable and didn't want to lead them on. One guy insisted that he could help me heal. I laughed .... It just takes time and that's not something he can "give," me and the last thing I need is a rebound. I was browsing around to help a friend get a date on a particular site and out of curiosity I browsed the section applicable to me in my down time. Surprisingly, I saw an ad that a guy wrote that sounded right up my alley. I responded to it and we ended up going out. It went surprisingly well. I already explained to the guy that I am fresh out of a relationship and if he is not ok with being friends for now then he should stop communicating with me. I hate when guys think they can change a woman's mind. He says he understands and there is no pressure to date. So, I made a new friend that I have lots in common with. Good enough for me. As far as the ex goes... I have been working on a pros and cons list. These lists cover the pros and cons of us getting back together. There are probably 4x more than the amount of reasons why we should than the page listing reasons why we shouldn't. Once I did this, I had a moment of clarity.. I think. I don't feel so sad if I've convinced myself that this is a dead end. I have been feeling much better the past 3 days. Its a good sign. I kinda hope he doesn't attempt to contact me. I'm slowly picking up some momentum here.
316 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Use that momentum and run with it! You and I are in very similar situations (5 days NC but I'm on an emotional high after walking past my ex with another girl). Im finally making positive changes in my life. Lets keep it up... No turning back! 1
Author meeji Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 There are a couple of factors that are helping me look to the future (without him it). The thought has continuously crossed my mind that people who take things for granted usually had a tendency to do it more than once bc they have a history. If this breakup smacked some sense into him and he comes crawling back that doesn't mean that after a while he wont revert right back to allowing his fears to control him again. It seems to be the pattern from what I have been reading here. They beg for the second chance and when you give it them they **** that up too. I want to save myself the grief.... I know the boy is confused but how will he learn from his mistakes if he never has to suffer the consequences of his actions? If I take him back he will feel like he'll always have a 2nd shot. Tough love I guess you could call this one.
Author meeji Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Use that momentum and run with it! You and I are in very similar situations (5 days NC but I'm on an emotional high after walking past my ex with another girl). Im finally making positive changes in my life. Lets keep it up... No turning back! That is good to hear! Everything happens for a reason and when we fight against the waves and nothing we do works, we only have one option and that is to surrender. I didn't beg or make and ass of myself trying to prove anything to him but if he can't see it, then he doesn''t deserve it. Think about what kind of trouble that woman you saw him with is getting herself into without even knowing. There's no point in getting jealous bc you've been there done that. She's wiping her ass with yesterday's newspaper. I hope things continue to work for both of us.
316 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 That is good to hear! Everything happens for a reason and when we fight against the waves and nothing we do works, we only have one option and that is to surrender. I didn't beg or make and ass of myself trying to prove anything to him but if he can't see it, then he doesn''t deserve it. Think about what kind of trouble that woman you saw him with is getting herself into without even knowing. There's no point in getting jealous bc you've been there done that. She's wiping her ass with yesterday's newspaper. I hope things continue to work for both of us. LOL I think you slightly misunderstood. I was the one talking to another girl when my ex Gf walked by. Apparently she looked upset. It was empowering because she was the one who rejected me in a sense. But you're totally right there's no need to put the ex on a pedastal after being rejected.
Author meeji Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 HAHA! e:)ven better. That will probably eat at your ex for a little while.
Author meeji Posted February 17, 2013 Author Posted February 17, 2013 I dont know of the top of my head how many days it has been of nc. I stopped counting. I think i am bouncing back really fast. When i talked about my ex before, it made me sad but i'm getting to the point where i can talk about him calmly and feel sorta indiffere.I also noticed that the things I have to say about hm are much shorter. Maybe i would go on and one in efforts to seek comfort in expressing myself. I gave a new guy my phone number last night. We share a mutual friend. He has been dicked around by some girl who can't make up her mind. I told him that it was a shame and that he was quite handsome. My friend keeps very good company and she said he is the sweetest guy she has ever known so he must be a catch. I believe it. Anyway, we'll see if he calls me after everyone returns home after this adventurous weekend.
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