summer90 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Please help me girls, I need to ask you how to get over someone without closure. I have dated this guy on and off for 1.5 year, and one day I got a phone call from the ex-girlfriend he told me about, and it turned out that they never broke up and he has been cheating on both of us all of these times. When his girlfriend confronted him, he told her that I was lying and begged her to stay with him, and he never spoke to me ever again, no apologies what-so-ever. And neither did I ever contacted him because I felt disgusted when the girl told me how many times she caught him being unfaithful (I don't know how she put up with it tbh). Now 8 months has gone past, I have a wonderful boyfriend now who treats me so well, but I just cannot forget the amount of lies this first guy has told me. And the worst part is - he appears regularly on local media and often get praised for his service (he's an ex-marine who became an amputee from the Afghan war). It makes my stomach turns when I hear people calling him "hero" all the time when he can't even admit to his faults and say a simple sorry. I sometimes have big urges to ring him up and shout at him or want to ask him so many questions, but I never did because I know I will never get the answers I want. I thought time would make me forgive and forget, but I still can't, I want to ask you girls, how do I let go of my grudges towards him and be less obsessive about his and that girl's current relationship?
Author summer90 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Meet someone new. I already have if you've read my post properly. I really want some genuine answers that will help me, please no joke/spam.
destroyed4sho Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Sorry you had to go through that. That must of been heartbreaking...I know how you feel. An ex of mine did that same to me but I was first. I am happy that you have a new bf and you should concentrate on him not on your ex. Your ex may be a war hero but he is no hero with women. I know you are hurting but try to have some empathy for him, he is an amputee after all. His pain and predicament is far worse than yours will ever be. You don't need closure through him! You can get it on here, as I am doing and it has helped me understand my own break up.
Author summer90 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 (edited) Sorry you had to go through that. That must of been heartbreaking...I know how you feel. An ex of mine did that same to me but I was first. I am happy that you have a new bf and you should concentrate on him not on your ex. Your ex may be a war hero but he is no hero with women. I know you are hurting but try to have some empathy for him, he is an amputee after all. His pain and predicament is far worse than yours will ever be. You don't need closure through him! You can get it on here, as I am doing and it has helped me understand my own break up. Thank you. You know what, what initially attracted me to him in the first place was what he did as a soldier, and his disability didn't stop me from having feelings for him. He told me so many times how "vulnerable" he was because of his disability, and then I found out he was scamming the hell outta it with other women and try to make them feel sorry for him so he could get them into bed with him. Still a hero? Don't think so. Edited February 11, 2013 by summer90
ken_25 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Please help me girls, I need to ask you how to get over someone without closure. I have dated this guy on and off for 1.5 year, and one day I got a phone call from the ex-girlfriend he told me about, and it turned out that they never broke up and he has been cheating on both of us all of these times. When his girlfriend confronted him, he told her that I was lying and begged her to stay with him, and he never spoke to me ever again, no apologies what-so-ever. And neither did I ever contacted him because I felt disgusted when the girl told me how many times she caught him being unfaithful (I don't know how she put up with it tbh). Now 8 months has gone past, I have a wonderful boyfriend now who treats me so well, but I just cannot forget the amount of lies this first guy has told me. And the worst part is - he appears regularly on local media and often get praised for his service (he's an ex-marine who became an amputee from the Afghan war). It makes my stomach turns when I hear people calling him "hero" all the time when he can't even admit to his faults and say a simple sorry. I sometimes have big urges to ring him up and shout at him or want to ask him so many questions, but I never did because I know I will never get the answers I want. I thought time would make me forgive and forget, but I still can't, I want to ask you girls, how do I let go of my grudges towards him and be less obsessive about his and that girl's current relationship? Well I'm no girl, but I think you just simply aren't over it yet. Time will get you past this, you will likely never forget about what happened, but eventually you won't care about it. You still need more time, could take another year or two. 8 months isn't very long.
destroyed4sho Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Thank you. You know what, what initially attracted me to him in the first place was what he did as a soldier, and his disability didn't stop me from having feelings for him. He told me so many times how "vulnerable" he was because of his disability, and then I found out he was scamming the hell outta it with other women and try to make them feel sorry for him so he could get them into bed with him. Still a hero? Don't think so. Wow, this guy is unbelievable..I can't believe someone would stoop so low as to use their disability to have sex with multiple women. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Sounds like a script for a romantic comedy starting Vince Vaughn. He is immature and has NO character, ugh...he has a lot of growing up to do.
Author summer90 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Wow, this guy is unbelievable..I can't believe someone would stoop so low as to use their disability to have sex with multiple women. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Sounds like a script for a romantic comedy starting Vince Vaughn. He is immature and has NO character, ugh...he has a lot of growing up to do. Hahaha I think if you're a tax payer in the UK you should be angry, these marines (him and his mates) get their pension for the rest of their lives (despite only being in their early 20s) plus a large sum of money from their injuries, and instead of using the money properly to build their lives back on track, they spend it on gambling, strip clubs, drinking and luxuries that normal tax payers like us could never afford. That's definitely one of the reason why I'm against the war in the Middle East, but let's not get too political on a relationship advice website lol.
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