Happypuppy Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Zammo I see you still are drinking and haven't contacted your doctor yet...? You need to stop this. If the love of one person defines who we are, then the whole world is filled with losers. Every single person I know has been dumped at one point in their lives. It does not de-value us as humans, it only de-values us in OUR eyes. And you need to get this through your head.. You have big issues my man, BIG issues. And you ranting and raving one day, then telling us you are fine the next is quite disturbing tbh. I gather you have decided you are better off as a bitter and angry person, instead of a person that embrace life. That's your choice, but don't tell people on here they are worthless. Cause they are not. They are hurting, wich 99,9% of the world does, and it's completely normal. What's NOT normal is you acting like a crazy person.. Get help! And btw, your age has nothing to do with you not being able to find love. Your outlook on life on the other hand, has.. Sorry if I'm harsh, but this is getting ridiculus. BTW: My ex told me once that he kept dreaming about us even months after our breakup (this was before our last BU), and I somehow doubt it has stopped just because he is with another woman. Ofc he doesn't dream of me every night, but me being a big part of his life for 5 years, it only makes sence that we pop up from time to time. 5
JamesM Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Well said, Happypuppy. Someone who leaves someone does not have the power to define that someone. We all define ourselves. Interesting thing is...many of us who have been dumped (yes, I have been too) look back and are very grateful that were were. If I had been with the one I "loved" in my early twenties, then I would have missed out on a marriage to one who is a much better fit for me. Besides, I met that girl and am very thankful that she thought me a geek. My wife is so much better looking. We all lose at some point in our life. Letting our failures define our future is almost a guarantee that we will not succeed. 5
lovelifexx Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I have never dreamt about any guy I have dumped. When it is over, I almost never think of them.
8radient8 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 It is very possible to love someone deeply, and not be able to tolerate the pain of an incompatibility. As sad as it is, life does tend to get in the way sometimes. I still have very strong feelings for an ex, and dream for him-long for him even sometimes- but I could not go back. Never. Guarantee ya I feel way worse than he does. He met a girl a week after I left and is still with her now, four years later. Sometimes the dumper is the one left with the heartache. 1
samrjrb Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Dumpers are not all bad. I just broke up with my girlfriend 3 weeks ago. We dated for 2 months, really not enough time to call us bf and gf. My problem is moving too fast; and if I find someone who does the same thing, things move so fast that it is no time before things get physical. Then the relationship ends. I really had a hard time and still am, dealing with the feelings. The fact is that we weren't going to be good together. I'm very sorry for hurting her. We have had no contact for 2 weeks now and this is good. Believe me, I have wanted to see how she is handling it because I'm the bad guy in this situation. It would have been easier if we had not been intimate. That always complicates things when it happens so fast for me. I have made a commitment to work on this. I pray she was my last fast relationship, because I hated doing the breaking up. She is only the 2nd person I have ever broken up with and I am 44. Neither time was at all pleasant. I know how it feels to be broken up with. We do have feelings too. I saved alot of heartache for her in the long run. I don't regret it, but it does not feel good. We both cried through this.
JamesM Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Trust me...it is much better for someone to dump you now and cause pain, then to continue along in the relationship causing you many months or years of pain. Dating is a time to learn and discover who we want to spend our lives with. And in the process we will break up with some people until we discover the right one. Worrying that we will cause pain if we split from someone we know is not best for us is actually much worse than if we ended the relationship at the point we knew. Dumpers are not bad people. Many times dumpers see what the dumpee avoids. As one who has been on both sides, I know the hurt of both. Causing someone pain was never a fun thing. And forgetting about them was never easy. My dreams confirm this. Thinking about her now could mean she shows up in my dreams again. 1
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