Jingle14 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 And if it affects them in anyway at all? Just curious. 1
Zammo25 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 We have to accept, No. The fact they are with someone else now tells us all we need to know really doesn't it ?
Njeanne Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Depends on break up, if it was forced or not. And no, not all dumpers leave for someone else, seriously. Mine didn't for one.
8radient8 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Actually, not to stir up any false hope, I have a post on this same forum about this thing. "ugh so stressed" I have been having dreams about the guy I dumped almost 4 years ago while lying in bed next to an amazing man. It has so many emotions worked up in me! I do not believe that once you have a love for someone that the love can ever truly be extinguished. Believe me, you will cross their mind. Probably even more often than you think.
Zammo25 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Actually, not to stir up any false hope, I have a post on this same forum about this thing. "ugh so stressed" I have been having dreams about the guy I dumped almost 4 years ago while lying in bed next to an amazing man. It has so many emotions worked up in me! I do not believe that once you have a love for someone that the love can ever truly be extinguished. Believe me, you will cross their mind. Probably even more often than you think. We do not cross their mind. Not for a single second. Don't delude yourself. We mean NOTHING now and after all they are with someone else so that says it all.
sweetkiwi Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 I dumped my ex. Who I dream about very often. Last night in fact. Our circumstances were very different. I love him very much. He wasn't in love with me. I had to end it because of this and a combination of his inability to communicate even the most basic feelings and thoughts. Don't count on him or her dreaming of you. Put it out of your mind.
JamesM Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 We do not cross their mind. Not for a single second. Don't delude yourself. We mean NOTHING now and after all they are with someone else so that says it all. Not true from my experience. I don't know if it is good to hear or not. About 25 years ago, I dumped a girl (although I was technically the OM as she had the boyfriend). I know that she was really into me and may have left her bf. She was not good for me even though she was great in many ways. Anyhow, I did leave her as she hadn't left her BF. Just a couple of weeks ago I had a dream of her and it brought back all of the good memories of her. This has happened a number of times over the years, and all have been good ones. And yes, I do think of her occasionally outside of my dreams. Just because someone isn't the one does not make them disappear. I have no doubt that you are thought of on occasion and even appear in his dreams. Dumpers are not that awful...they are human too. 1
Zammo25 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Not true from my experience. I don't know if it is good to hear or not. About 25 years ago, I dumped a girl (although I was technically the OM as she had the boyfriend). I know that she was really into me and may have left her bf. She was not good for me even though she was great in many ways. Anyhow, I did leave her as she hadn't left her BF. Just a couple of weeks ago I had a dream of her and it brought back all of the good memories of her. This has happened a number of times over the years, and all have been good ones. And yes, I do think of her occasionally outside of my dreams. Just because someone isn't the one does not make them disappear. I have no doubt that you are thought of on occasion and even appear in his dreams. Dumpers are not that awful...they are human too. Dumpers are not human. They are sub human. They do not care if we we were dead and that is a FACT. The only reason any of us are on this site is our sorry arses were dumped and we cannot handle it but do not think for a second the dumpers give a damn as they don't. 1
Zammo25 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 We are all quite pathetic human beings really. All of us on this site. We are living in the past whilst the person we loved has moved on. It is quite sad really, a site for losers and I include myself in that. This site should be renamed " losers ".
JamesM Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Dumpers are not human. They are sub human. My sympathy for all of the pain you have. "Dumpers" do cause pain but I think that many of them DO feel pain, too. They may feel a relief that the relationship is over, but they carry guilt knowing that they caused someone pain and depression. I know I did and even to this day, I wish I could have done things differently. They do not care if we we were dead and that is a FACT. Personally, I have hoped that she moved on and had a better life than she would have had with me. I do know that her Bf at the time left her and she married another and had a daughter. I never wished her dead at all. Never. The only reason any of us are on this site is our sorry arses were dumped and we cannot handle it but do not think for a second the dumpers give a damn as they don't. I don't question that many dumpers move on and don't care. However, many are sensitive and do care. I will always carry the guilt with me (and perhaps that is why she shows up in my dreams) because I doubt she would want to hear me ask for forgiveness...if SHE even remembers me. 1
JamesM Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 We are all quite pathetic human beings really. All of us on this site. We are living in the past whilst the person we loved has moved on. It is quite sad really, a site for losers and I include myself in that. This site should be renamed " losers ". Not all have moved on. But even those who have moved on don't forget. If you could see inside of my head even after all of these years, then you might understand a little of someone who knows he has caused another human pain unnecessarily. If I could at least pass along a little comfort to you, then maybe it could help. 1
Zammo25 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 My sympathy for all of the pain you have. "Dumpers" do cause pain but I think that many of them DO feel pain, too. They may feel a relief that the relationship is over, but they carry guilt knowing that they caused someone pain and depression. I know I did and even to this day, I wish I could have done things differently. Personally, I have hoped that she moved on and had a better life than she would have had with me. I do know that her Bf at the time left her and she married another and had a daughter. I never wished her dead at all. Never. I don't question that many dumpers move on and don't care. However, many are sensitive and do care. I will always carry the guilt with me (and perhaps that is why she shows up in my dreams) because I doubt she would want to hear me ask for forgiveness...if SHE even remembers me. She does not care. You are a loser to her, we all are. Time to face the facts really. Every single person on here is a loser. It is obvious. Our dumpers decided we were sh*t and they did not care it is only because we are such losers we cannot accept this. Very sad.
RogerWallace111 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 ^ this motherf*cker ..... poor guy 1
RogerWallace111 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 as two people have stated, of course they can. breakups aren't always caused by love disappearing. i broke with my ex and dreamed about her constantly (though i couldn't handle it and eventually took her back ).
Zammo25 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 It goes without saying really that every single person on here is an utter loser. It is obvious really. We cling to hope we are not but we are. The site is full of broken people, dumped, not worthy. We are not worth the love of someone we loved and as such by definition we are useless, hopeless and a waste of space. If we were so great we would not be on here bleating about lost loves would we.
Zammo25 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 ^ this motherf*cker ..... poor guy Why you are a loser hence the fact you on are on here.
RogerWallace111 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 It goes without saying really that every single person on here is an utter loser. It is obvious really. We cling to hope we are not but we are. The site is full of broken people, dumped, not worthy. We are not worth the love of someone we loved and as such by definition we are useless, hopeless and a waste of space. If we were so great we would not be on here bleating about lost loves would we. nah, dumbass. ive got countless awesome friends, a dope, interesting career, music released around the world, and i got laid last night
RogerWallace111 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Why you are a loser hence the fact you on are on here. nah i'm just bored in front of a computer at work 4/5 days
Zammo25 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 nah, dumbass. ive got countless awesome friends, a dope, interesting career, music released around the world, and i got laid last night but still you love someone who does not love you so you lost my friend, put a good slant on it but if things were so fine you would not be on this losers site would you ?
RogerWallace111 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 but still you love someone who does not love you so you lost my friend, put a good slant on it but if things were so fine you would not be on this losers site would you ? im reluctant to go into it, but as i have the time: i broke up with and told my now ex i didn't see myself marrying her. we got back together after a while but in time she ended it, needing a commitment as she already owned a home an wanted to settle down. i wouldn't ever want to be back with her because it was futile. im not getting married in my twenties. of course i still have love for her, that goes without saying. but i wouldn't take her back, i was mildly depressed the last year i was with her, now i'm happier than i've ever been. you are correct that my initial pain of losing her is what led to me finding this website. i think our age gap might make our outlook different, buddy 1
RogerWallace111 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 and i kick it on here because facebook & the news get boring quickly
Zammo25 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 im reluctant to go into it, but as i have the time: i broke up with and told my now ex i didn't see myself marrying her. we got back together after a while but in time she ended it, needing a commitment as she already owned a home an wanted to settle down. i wouldn't ever want to be back with her because it was futile. im not getting married in my twenties. of course i still have love for her, that goes without saying. but i wouldn't take her back, i was mildly depressed the last year i was with her, now i'm happier than i've ever been. you are correct that my initial pain of losing her is what led to me finding this website. i think our age gap might make our outlook different, buddy 50, lost, broke, on my own ? Well done Sherlock.
RogerWallace111 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 50, lost, broke, on my own ? Well done Sherlock. i sympathize with you, but youre not doing yourself any favors. my mom is out of a relationship at 56, and 3 months later is happy & kicking ass. age is a little bit of a cop out in these days when new, single, potential partners are of all ages are around. 2
Zammo25 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Replaced by a guy a hundred times better than me. Those are the FACTS. I have to suck it up and know it.
CautionaryTale Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Honestly, the 1st guy I left... We drifted apart and just lost interest in one another. He felt the same but wanted to work things out. I didn't at that point. I've had dreams about him, I've regretted ending things with him. I still care about him, I think about him occasionally. I wouldn't want to get back together because I realize we just weren't good together. I never stayed friends with him and when we broke up we stayed NC. Sometimes when an ex isn't contacting you and isn't trying, it's because they DO care, not because they don't. On the other hand, I left a man who for the next 5 months made my life a living hell. I had to change my number, my email addresses, close FB, he showed up at my job and nearly got me fired, he would drive by my apartment couple of times a day, I went on vacation for 3 weeks and when I had returned he seemed to have disappeared. In that case? The only thoughts/feelings I had for him were those of relief when he finally went away. I did have nightmares concerning him in the beginning.
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