Heartfail Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 (edited) Today I thought I would post up some positivity and tell you some of the things that have been helping me feel better. I really feel like I have turned a corner on the last few days. NC has been difficult not least because the ex contacted me to tell me his new job news on Friday and I did end up engaging in email chat I'm afraid- but because I was doing and feeling positive in other ways it didn't burn half as much as it has before. So here are some of my tips for things that are helping me find my way out of the abyss. 1. Throwing Myself Into Work: I missed a lot of work at the end of last year post break up. In the last week I have really been re-engaging with my job- it is such a part of my identity and to do it well and to be really trying again is helping fill some of the ex shaped hole. 2. New Haircut: I decided to splash out on a new haircut and colour on Saturday- went a bit blonder and got a fringe. Literally feel a million dollars. The compliments have been a real boost to my fragile ego and it meant that rather than sit in crying on Sat night I went out and showed it off. 3. Reconnecting With Friends: I planned and spent a wonderful day on Sunday with my sister and two male friends (admittedly one of them is a mutual friend of mine and the ex) but as he said to me at the weekend he considers himself both of our friends and is keen to retain that contact with me. I spent the whole day laughing- more than I have in months and it felt really great to know that the end of me and J didn't have the mean the end of some of my more important friendships. 4. Cutting Down On Alcohol: I definitely used alcohol as a crutch during this break up unable to physically comprehend the emotional turmoil beer and wine seemed like a useful tool to get me through the long agonising evenings and nights. Ultimately making everything harder to deal with of course. Now I want to get back to non drinking in the week and really enjoy a night out at the weekend when I can enjoy a drink for social reasons not emotional ones. 5. Excercise: Everyone knows the benefits... I am running 3 times a week with my housemates (so guaranteed company 3 times a week. It's helping me look better and feel better and it also helps with the cutting down on alcohol. So these are some of the things that have led to me really feeling like i have come on leaps and bounds in the past week. So long as I try harder with NC I have no doubt I will be back to the old me again in the next few months. Edited February 11, 2013 by Heartfail 3
cdt76 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 At least you have roommates! I live alone! With no pets!
Author Heartfail Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 At least you have roommates! I live alone! With no pets! Very true! You have friends though right. All I can do is urge you to utilise them as much as you can. One of the hardest things I have found is that I just dont want to hang out with other people I want to hang out with him. But even if I haven't enjoyed being out or spending time with friends much recently by my forcing myself to I am forcing myself to get on with living and it helps eventually 1
becks77 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Very true! You have friends though right. All I can do is urge you to utilise them as much as you can. One of the hardest things I have found is that I just dont want to hang out with other people I want to hang out with him. But even if I haven't enjoyed being out or spending time with friends much recently by my forcing myself to I am forcing myself to get on with living and it helps eventually Well done for being positive - I'm having a good day today although yesterday sucked! You're right about keeping busy - I'm usually ok when I'm out with my friends, although like you I sometimes get a pang of 'I'd much rather be with him than here etc' I've cut down on the booze too - makes things worse I think!
todreaminblue Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 i used to get wasted havent drunk in a long time, it actually cheers em up to think i am getting through days without it......gym makes em feel good goign to gym today with a personal trainer....i do that three to four times a week.....i am hoping to scam a new ipod out of my sis, i go through ipods like you wouldnt believe they die on me......i miss music when i am walking and out and about...random acts o fkindness cheer me up, soemoen left something on my window sill, dont know who, but that was a nice touch, brightened my day yesterday....i think its my kids....smilin..congrats on the new hair cut im too chicken to do anythign with mine , its extremely long.....deb
Author Heartfail Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Well done for being positive - I'm having a good day today although yesterday sucked! You're right about keeping busy - I'm usually ok when I'm out with my friends, although like you I sometimes get a pang of 'I'd much rather be with him than here etc' I've cut down on the booze too - makes things worse I think! It definitely does! I don't want to stop completely though this relationship isn't ruining all the fun in my life!! I'm glad you had a good day today- I find Sundays really hard too. Joined a dating website too- I'll never actually go any dates it;s not really my thing but I've found it interesting and a distraction chatting to a few guys!
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