cdt76 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 So mid January I broke it off with a girl I deperately loved because she wouldn't move in with me and in hindsight I was only an option to better her life, until something better came along. Well, last year in September I got her an Iphone because it was like 98 cents if I added a line to my account. So basically I'm paying for her phone. I broke no contact last week to instruct her to get a new phone line and account in her own name because I was going to shut it off. The pull to check the account and find out who she is talking to and texting is too much for me and I sure as hell am not going to pay for a phone so she can hook up with other dudes. So she said she would get a new line next week. It's next week now. My question is, do I just shut it off on Friday or text her that it's going down. She has an infant and I wouldn't want to leave her hanging but hey, it doesn't take 2 weeks to get a new line. I'm bitter and angry too so just shutting it off is what I want to do. That isn't taking the high road though.
cavalier99 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Kill that line like right now after you read this. 5
Sav Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 if you haven't done it after reading that, do it now
Author cdt76 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 I left the conversation without being an A$$ Hole. I'm the one who wants to be able to look back and say, I did the right thing all the way up to the end. The end is Friday. I'll kill it Friday without a word and she can deal with being an idiot on her own. 1
cavalier99 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 I left the conversation without being an A$$ Hole. I'm the one who wants to be able to look back and say, I did the right thing all the way up to the end. The end is Friday. I'll kill it Friday without a word and she can deal with being an idiot on her own. Fair enough. Yeah no need to inform her again. I bet she will be pissed either way. Lol
Author cdt76 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Yeah, then no doubt I'm going to get an email that sets me on fire, which she will write accusing me of leaving her and the baby without means of communication and what kind of freak I am. It's going to be one of those vile emails full of spit and vinegar. And I'll delete it and never speak to or see her again. 1
cavalier99 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Ha. At least you know what is coming! So predictable. You'll be an ******* even doing the right thing and giving her this week. No doubt. Lol
Author cdt76 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Exactly! I'm the a-hole who wanted a life with her and a future and a relationship and family and giving her two weeks to get a new phone line just piles onto the list of unreasonable and retarded requests I've made of her over the last year! If only I were like other men, who just didn't give a ##### about anyone but myself, then maybe it would be easier for her to get over! bhahaha! See, Cav, that's the anger coming out! Ohhhhh am I angry. On a positive note, I'll be fighting in a boxing match next month! I'm going to knock a motha out! 2
candie13 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 you're still no over her. text at max, if you must - I think you're still looking for reasons to keep that communication line open... been there, done that. honestly, best would be to close the line NOW. she knows, she is a grown up, trust me, she will survive.
Author cdt76 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 I'm not looking to keep the line open. If she needed too, she knows how to get in touch with me and she hasn't. I haven't blocked her on facebook, just unfriended her. So if need be, she can contact me there. I don't stalk her facebook or anything like that. I'm rarely on that these days anyway. But the phone, finding out who she is talking to and when and how often....that was driving me nuts. I haven't looked at it since she and I had that conversation. My only question was should I be a D@!( and just shut it off with no warning. I thought giving her till Friday would be ok. Truth be told, she probably won't have it done by then and I'll just shut off the phone. I put it out there in very explicit terms. I want her. I want a relationship with her. I want a future with her. I bought and engagement ring..for HER ...for the right time...but she wants nothing to do with me. She doesn't text me, she doesnt' email me. None of my friends know her. So there is NC. I'm done. Come Friday I'll be completely free of her. And she can kis MY A$$!!!!!!!
coltsfan1 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 If you need to be a gentleman for your sanity leave it on till Friday. But Friday at midnight it should no longer work, she doesn't want to billed a life with you. So let her build one with out your help!
Navajo46 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 I was in this exact situation 2 years ago. Had girlfriend on my cell phone plan and then we broke up. Told her to get cell phone out of my name asap and that I would be shutting it off. I didn't have the heart to do it and she took full advantage for like a month and a half. The way I looked at it was I was giving her time to think and I didn't want to be the ******* and have a clean conscience. It was so hard though because I was checking her cell phone line every 5 minutes to see who she had called and everything. Finally I had enough and left her a message mid week that said "Look it's time to move on, I have been as good as I possibly could about the situation but you have til sunday to get the phone out of my name." Wouldn't you know it she texted me a few hours later and said lets get together and talk. We did and ended up getting back together for the next 2 years only for me to get broken up with all over and here I am. I think you should do the same and tell her one last time her deadline and then stick to it. For me, I just wanted a clear conscience to make sure she knew I was serious and then if she still doesn't you won't have any regrets. I know if I would have just shut it off, I would have fealt like **** even though I had told her a month before. Hope either way it works out for you.
Author cdt76 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Navajo, but we had this conversation already! Last Monday. She said and I quote: "Dang, well I will try to next week, geez I don't know what you want me to say..." So I told her what I wanted her to say. She ignored that. A couple hours later I responded that she isn't willing to make me a priority in her life and I was used as nothing more than an option for her life, so text me when you get a new line. It's been a week of No Contact since then. I left it open but assumed she would get it done this week. Come Friday morning...that Mother F**** er isn't going to work. I'm not her daddy. She wants to be a big girl, she can get it done on her own. I haven't checked the account to see if she is still using it, though. I'll just shut it off Friday without warning. I don't want to talk or text her and I sure as hell don't want to hear from her. Anyone want to buy a really really ridiculously really nice engagement ring?
candie13 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 that's really sad, I am sorry to hear about the engagement ring!! But ... it just seems weird, did you talk to her about marriage before? I just don't see how one partner can actually buy a ring and their SO tell them, next week, that they're not a priority, but an option... that is very weird...
Author cdt76 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 I bought the ring last October. At the beginning of December, I told her I had purchased a ring but wasn't proposing. I wanted to wait for the right time and make sure we were both ready but that she knew where my level of commitment was. And believe me, she never said I wasn't a priority, her actions did. So her actions created my actions which was to end it because we were going down separate roads with different agendas. She broke my heart and I'm full of anger about it. She lost out. I'm a great guy who is stable in career, finances, family and life and she threw it away. I don't care why. All that matters is that she didn't even care enough to try and make it work. So F her. See that right there is the anger part.
Navajo46 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Navajo, but we had this conversation already! Last Monday. She said and I quote: "Dang, well I will try to next week, geez I don't know what you want me to say..." So I told her what I wanted her to say. She ignored that. A couple hours later I responded that she isn't willing to make me a priority in her life and I was used as nothing more than an option for her life, so text me when you get a new line. It's been a week of No Contact since then. I left it open but assumed she would get it done this week. Come Friday morning...that Mother F**** er isn't going to work. I'm not her daddy. She wants to be a big girl, she can get it done on her own. I haven't checked the account to see if she is still using it, though. I'll just shut it off Friday without warning. I don't want to talk or text her and I sure as hell don't want to hear from her. Anyone want to buy a really really ridiculously really nice engagement ring? Yeah, I agree with you then in that situation. That's just blatant "I'm not gonna put the effort in and I dare you to do it". Mine was a little different, I told her the same thing and I was angry as hell in the beginning, but for me I was still hoping we could work things out and there was a lot of questions that I got answered later. Get it done.
Author cdt76 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 She gave me my answer. I'm just being nice in letting her use the phone line. I figure I'll give her enough rope to hang herself. Hell, she never put in effort for me the entire time we were together. You know what's funny in all this is that my first girlfriend, I lost because I was non-committal. I would never talk about the future or marriage or anything because, I was on that lets take it slow boat to China. I wanted the long 2 to 3 year relationship so that I really knew her. Well, that backfired. This time, I let it develop naturally but when I made the decision to commit wholeheartedly, I was in. Hook, line and Sinker. She would have no doubt that I wanted a life together. Well, that backfired. So women of LS, what the HE!! do you want from a man!
CarrieT Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Well, that backfired. So women of LS, what the HE!! do you want from a man! With all due respect, your plan did NOT backfire... I was on that lets take it slow boat to China. I wanted the long 2 to 3 year relationship so that I really knew her. Well, that backfired. Did you state to her that you wanted a two to three year relationship to get to know her? Because if you did, and you got this: Hell, she never put in effort for me the entire time we were together. Than you got your answer and she was not the right one for you. Stick to your guns and the right one will come along.
Author cdt76 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 The first girlfriend (2008) I told her I everything. I was in love. But I wanted to wait 2 or 3 years before taking the next step. You know, live together, learn about each other. Shortly after she moved in, she felt "trapped and isolated" and got untrapped with my co-worker. So she knew what my feelings were. Recent girlfriend (mind you it took 3 years to fully heal from that first debacle), was always questioning my committment. When it was her committment level that was always in question. So I bought the ring because I wanted her to be my wife and I wanted a family and the fairy tale. I was all in and she knew it. So I don't know. I guess it's like the song "you never know, when you're gonna meet someone"....Chris Daughtry. Love that song by the way.
Navajo46 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Its funny because I feel the same way. The first 2 years of my relationship, my ex was chasing the **** out of me because I didn't know what I wanted. Next two years, I took on more responsibility with her kid and the relationship and then the last two years I was ALL in and talking marriage kids etc. That's when things went to hell in a handbasket. Almost every situation that I have been hard to get or whatever the woman has chased me... and then when I decide to commit it seems like they give up... no longer a challenge for them?!>
Author cdt76 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 I think for this one it was a money thing. I didn't have enough to give her the lifestyle she was "accustomed" to. She was going to have to work and move three hours from her only friend and people she knew. I wasn't worth all that to her. So basically she used me to get back on her emotional feet and then took off when she realized I was serious. So F her. I'm so angry about it when I think of the details!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I started boxing again. I'm in an ameture fight coming up in march. I'm going to destroy this dude!!!!!
todreaminblue Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 So mid January I broke it off with a girl I deperately loved because she wouldn't move in with me and in hindsight I was only an option to better her life, until something better came along. Well, last year in September I got her an Iphone because it was like 98 cents if I added a line to my account. So basically I'm paying for her phone. I broke no contact last week to instruct her to get a new phone line and account in her own name because I was going to shut it off. The pull to check the account and find out who she is talking to and texting is too much for me and I sure as hell am not going to pay for a phone so she can hook up with other dudes. So she said she would get a new line next week. It's next week now. My question is, do I just shut it off on Friday or text her that it's going down. She has an infant and I wouldn't want to leave her hanging but hey, it doesn't take 2 weeks to get a new line. I'm bitter and angry too so just shutting it off is what I want to do. That isn't taking the high road though. sorry that you got used as a part time fix, that sucks, i think you have been understanding enough, you have given warning.....best wishes....deb
candie13 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I think for this one it was a money thing. I didn't have enough to give her the lifestyle she was "accustomed" to. She was going to have to work and move three hours from her only friend and people she knew. I wasn't worth all that to her. So basically she used me to get back on her emotional feet and then took off when she realized I was serious. So F her. I'm so angry about it when I think of the details!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I started boxing again. I'm in an ameture fight coming up in march. I'm going to destroy this dude!!!!! Don't do anything crazy, train well and play safe, no girl is worth a broken arm or jaw - yours or your opponent's !
fancy feast Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Shut it down. You're being overwhelmingly nice just by giving it until Friday.
Author cdt76 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Don't do anything crazy, train well and play safe, no girl is worth a broken arm or jaw - yours or your opponent's ! Candie. I'm a pretty good boxer. Had a nose broke once a coup,e years ago. This is how I deal with anger. I need an outlet. It also helps me sleep which right now is tough! Last night I was up at 2:30 in the morning. So I was at work at 5:30 this morning. If I don't have an outlet for it I take it out on my body by not eating. Not by choice just the mind overpowering the needs of the body. The positive offshoot in that is that I'm in better shape than most 20 something's and I'm 42. I've always been fit but the boxing takes it to a level where girls will notice. So that's the goal. Get my body right get my mind right. And meet the woman of my dreams who thinks I'm the man of hers!
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