Although I never said anything bad to him and took all blame,now blames me.NC broke

[Nuna]

My ex is now blaming "my insecurities" for the end of our relationship, although he left me and treated me with a lot of disrespect. He told a mutual friend that " I have a lot of respect for her and i tried to do the best, i'm not the perfect man i had my ups and downs, her to. But realise that you only hearing one side of the story. I'm sure she's not saying "bad things" about me, but she does choose what info she wants to disclose or not".

This is so unfair! I never said anything bad about him, kept NC and sent him soothing messages that I'm not angry with him and I wish him well. Yes I have done terrible mistakes but I admitted them, took the blame without realising that it really takes two and he treated me with so much disrespect lately and at times....

Why is he being so selfish and arrogant? I broke my NC and wrote to him I didn't expect that from him, he called me and just blamed and blamed again...Horrible

[Chi townD]

Just stay NC and move on. If that's what he has to think and say for him to cope, then so be it. You know the truth and that should be enough for you.

[Nuna]

Thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it. It still really hurts...

[Chi townD]

Ending a relationship always hurts to some degree. It's how we handle ourselves with the break up defines our character. You can walk away with your head held high and with dignity. If someone asks you about the break up, you can be honest with them, but do in it a nonchalant attituted and with no bitterness. People are going to think what they want.

 

Point is, you need to heal and move on. And it doesn't take you fingering blame on anyone, then great!

[ItxWillxGetxBetter]

Don't feel bad. In my experience that's typically the way they cope. My ex and I broke up and for her to justify the end of the relationship she blamed me for EVERYTHING!. She threw the kitchen sick at me and then some! At first I just took it and tried to be the nice guy but in time I realized that it doesn't matter. The fact of the matter is that the relationship is over and it takes 2 to end it. They can think and blame all they want. Don't encourage them by reaching out trying to defend your position. You reaching out to them is not going to make a difference one way or the other. At the end of the day...what does it really matter? The relationships over. Right now there are to many emotions that are raw and in time they will realize that they were at fault as well. Focus on healing yourself and remain at NC. If you hear something...just think of it as noise and block it out. Good Luck.

[Nuna]

It's just so sad and upsetting. He disappointed me as a person now, not that I want to be back with him or anything like this. i just can't believe he is saying these things about me and he completely forgot the love we had. I'm really curious if he is ever going to realise this and apologise. His things are still in our flat for more than a month as he still hasn't got a place for him. I messaged him that I packed them and he can pick them up when he has a new place, he didn't even say anything about this...He is being plain horrible. Did your your ex ever apologise about blaming you? Did you finally get over it?

[Nuna]

Don't feel bad. In my experience that's typically the way they cope. My ex and I broke up and for her to justify the end of the relationship she blamed me for EVERYTHING!. She threw the kitchen sick at me and then some! At first I just took it and tried to be the nice guy but in time I realized that it doesn't matter. The fact of the matter is that the relationship is over and it takes 2 to end it. They can think and blame all they want. Don't encourage them by reaching out trying to defend your position. You reaching out to them is not going to make a difference one way or the other. At the end of the day...what does it really matter? The relationships over. Right now there are to many emotions that are raw and in time they will realize that they were at fault as well. Focus on healing yourself and remain at NC. If you hear something...just think of it as noise and block it out. Good Luck.

 

It's just so sad and upsetting. He disappointed me as a person now, not that I want to be back with him or anything like this. i just can't believe he is saying these things about me and he completely forgot the love we had. I'm really curious if he is ever going to realise this and apologise. His things are still in our flat for more than a month as he still hasn't got a place for him. I messaged him that I packed them and he can pick them up when he has a new place, he didn't even say anything about this...He is being plain horrible. Did your your ex ever apologise about blaming you? Did you finally get over it?

[Nuna]

Ending a relationship always hurts to some degree. It's how we handle ourselves with the break up defines our character. You can walk away with your head held high and with dignity. If someone asks you about the break up, you can be honest with them, but do in it a nonchalant attituted and with no bitterness. People are going to think what they want.

 

Point is, you need to heal and move on. And it doesn't take you fingering blame on anyone, then great!

 

I wasn't bitter with him leaving, I am now hearing he only blames me...I think I have kept my dignity but I now see I shouldn't have messaged him and I should have just continued with my life. That would make me more proud of myself, but I did say what I wanted and I feel ok with it. Not amazingly ok, just ok...