SharkTooth Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 True friends, best friends, and friends have different meanings to me. My best friends have saved my life on several occasions. A true friend has your back. And a friend is someone you can call just about anytime to shoot the shi% and catch up. I have a special relationship with all of my true friends (4), best friends (2), and friends (many). A couple are ex's and even though I don't keep in contact with them daily or weekly, I run in to them here and there and we are both very happy to see each other and catch up. Every once in a while we hook up and that's very cool. Just having fun and we both know it. I think for anyone on LS to talk about friendship is a simple sign of hanging on with just a little thread. If you really want to be friends with someone that just said they don't want to be with you anymore, you are fooling yourself. After the anxiety, sleepless nights, crying esoterically, anger, hopelessness, can't breath, way to much thinking, self pity, mental anguish, and every other crappy emotion that everyone has experienced here, you still want to be friends? Let that take place naturally. Do not plan it or set a deadline! Trust me, they all come back eventually...For me, every single one of them and I have been the dumper and dumpee
stevie_23 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Something else I'll say about my best friend and I - even when we were in a relationship for 4 years, we were still best friends throughout that whole time. We were best friends for 4 years first, then together for 4 years, before she broke up with me. So...it was a bit of a different situation. We kind of slipped back into best friendship easily once the initial awkwardness faded. Something else I forgot to mention is that 3 months after the BU, I met my now-current partner online. We didn't get together (online) for a further 3 months after that, but that trip my friend and I took (that her new girlfriend was SO worried about), I had been with MY new girlfriend for 5 months by then, so...you know...she REALLY had nothing to worry about!!!!
Author Svet74 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 True friends, best friends, and friends have different meanings to me. My best friends have saved my life on several occasions. A true friend has your back. And a friend is someone you can call just about anytime to shoot the shi% and catch up. I have a special relationship with all of my true friends (4), best friends (2), and friends (many). A couple are ex's and even though I don't keep in contact with them daily or weekly, I run in to them here and there and we are both very happy to see each other and catch up. Every once in a while we hook up and that's very cool. Just having fun and we both know it. I think for anyone on LS to talk about friendship is a simple sign of hanging on with just a little thread. If you really want to be friends with someone that just said they don't want to be with you anymore, you are fooling yourself. After the anxiety, sleepless nights, crying esoterically, anger, hopelessness, can't breath, way to much thinking, self pity, mental anguish, and every other crappy emotion that everyone has experienced here, you still want to be friends? Let that take place naturally. Do not plan it or set a deadline! Trust me, they all come back eventually...For me, every single one of them and I have been the dumper and dumpee yeah i mean if your still going through that emotional trying to get over the ex then there is no way anybody should try to stay friends with their ex. once somebody healed and moved on then thats a whole other story
Author Svet74 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 So he is a low life (your words). If you meet someone new you will discard him anyway, so why put yourself through the extra hassle? cause you feel sorry for him? cause he is neglected by people who have absolutely no relevance to you? HE IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. Worry about you, your family, your friends...He is gone, no longer part of your life and/OR your future. End of... I think that is just an awful thing to do. To leave him like that. I don't know. I mean yeah he made mistakes and hurt me along the way. But not to a point where he is just impossible to talk to. Im still putting myself, my life, family, friends first. If that ever changes then il have to do something differently.
Simon Phoenix Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Yes i can handle that, As a matter of fact I would love to give him advice. when he told me he broke up with his new girlfriend. i told him that if he loves her he should fight for her lol. He just laughed. And i was being totally serious lol You are a bad friend for giving bad advice j/k. Honestly, I think it's possible to be friends with exes if there are no feelings from either side. It usually can't happen right after the relationship when emotions are still raw, but once both sides are recovered, sure, why not? I have some exes that, while not best friends, I keep in touch with on occasion and interact with on a friendly basis with no conflicted feelings. It takes time though. I've only had one that I smoothly transitioned into a friendship with right after the break -- it was a mutual break with no hard feelings in college and we continued to hook up on occasion, though I do remember getting somewhat pissed once when I saw her with another guy at the bar. But I'm rambling.
Author Svet74 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 You are a bad friend for giving bad advice j/k. Honestly, I think it's possible to be friends with exes if there are no feelings from either side. It usually can't happen right after the relationship when emotions are still raw, but once both sides are recovered, sure, why not? I have some exes that, while not best friends, I keep in touch with on occasion and interact with on a friendly basis with no conflicted feelings. It takes time though. I've only had one that I smoothly transitioned into a friendship with right after the break -- it was a mutual break with no hard feelings in college and we continued to hook up on occasion, though I do remember getting somewhat pissed once when I saw her with another guy at the bar. But I'm rambling. nothing wrong with a little jealously haha. I would never be able to sleep with my ex though lol. cuz i know i might start developing feelings. id rather just keep hands off. But yeah its been like 7 months since last time we broke up which was for like the third time so i got over it quicker. now im fine, dont want him back or waiting for him.
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