waiting4u Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Guys - would you feel less attracted to a woman if they gained about 15 lbs? I have a friend / idk what who I haven't been with intimately in a while and I've recently gained some weight due to a medical condition. I'm 5'7 and 140, whereas I was 5'7 and 125 last time we had sex (last summer). I'm having surgery for said medical condition in 4 weeks (the weight will probably drop off after) and I thought I would get together with him before that, as I'll be out of commission for at least a couple months. This is not a relationship and may never be (although I'm not completely opposed to the idea). We are friends and I think sort of fond of each other. Our history - we met last summer and basically had a sexual relationship for a few weeks. It fizzled out because he was getting over a breakup and I was getting mixed signals so I sort of ignored him (think f**k buddy who wants to spoon afterwards). Over time he has called every so often and we will talk or text back and forth, but he always invites me over at the last minute. I've got a seriously demanding job so I'm busy and I usually blow him off. He also doesn't really invite me anywhere, just sort of fishes around - like 'what are you doing' sort of thing. Sometimes he makes references to my job like "sometime you can tear yourself away from work and hang out." I've made it clear that I'm not going to be a "booty call" and consider him a friend. I'm not sure he's boyfriend material. He's really sweet, considerate and adorable and I like him - but he's ten years younger and I'm a single mom. Around new years he came over to the house (no kids were present) and we had some drinks and kissed a little. He stayed the night but we didn't have sex (just cuddled - the guy is a serious cuddler). Since then I hear from him every couple weeks. I don't really know where I stand / how I feel about him. I guess I'm sort of open to having something more, but I think the age difference is so huge. I kind of want to hang out, maybe kiss some more, possibly even have sex if I feel comfortable - but I'm worried the weight gain will turn him off. What do you think?
SmileFace Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Women.smh You don't want a FWB but he doesn't seem to want a relationship but you are worried if you will be turned off by your weight if you have a FWB? 3
FitChick Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Sounds like he's only interested in sex so weight gain won't matter.
Author waiting4u Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 But the last few times we hung out I didn't have sex with him and I've told him I won't have sex with him. You don't think I can at least consider him a friend? As far as FWB - I think that's already sort of what it is - without the actual sex part. Crap, I don't even know what it is. Maybe I think by holding back he'll like me more? Is it pretty much too late for that?
SmileFace Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 But the last few times we hung out I didn't have sex with him and I've told him I won't have sex with him. You don't think I can at least consider him a friend? As far as FWB - I think that's already sort of what it is - without the actual sex part. Crap, I don't even know what it is. Maybe I think by holding back he'll like me more? Is it pretty much too late for that? Why would a friend care if you gained weight? You sound like you do not know what you want.
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 He already made out with you once. Do you REALLY think he is going to pick you apart for 15lbs? If he wasn't into you he wouldn't have kissed you at all. I weigh 180 and have NEVER had a problem with men, I am a little bigger and unless you show you are not comfortable with your body, he won't even notice.
Author waiting4u Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Why would a friend care if you gained weight? You sound like you do not know what you want. Yeah, I'll admit, I totally don't know what I want. I'm sort of over the dating scene - but this guy keeps coming around so . . .
mesmerized Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 He already made out with you once. Do you REALLY think he is going to pick you apart for 15lbs? If he wasn't into you he wouldn't have kissed you at all. I weigh 180 and have NEVER had a problem with men, I am a little bigger and unless you show you are not comfortable with your body, he won't even notice. Just curious, how tall are you? OP, do you think you still look good or not? Where has the weight gone? I can pull of gaining 10 15 lbs and nobody can tell cause it goes evenly all over me and my waist always stays small.
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Just curious, how tall are you? OP, do you think you still look good or not? Where has the weight gone? I can pull of gaining 10 15 lbs and nobody can tell cause it goes evenly all over me and my waist always stays small. 5'10 People think I am kidding when I say I am thick.... I'm not.
mesmerized Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 5'10 People think I am kidding when I say I am thick.... I'm not. Well you're also pretty tall. And you probably have more muscle mass than the average chick.
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Well you're also pretty tall. And you probably have more muscle mass than the average chick. True, but still, I don't even care! It has never been a problem and I am proud of my weight.
Charlene78 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 If he really loves you and is in love with you, then he probably doesn't care too much about those 15 pounds, if at all.
mesmerized Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 True, but still, I don't even care! It has never been a problem and I am proud of my weight. You do look pretty good. Just avoid smaller guys and you'll be fine.
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 You do look pretty good. Just avoid smaller guys and you'll be fine. Haha I date all kinds of guys. My boyfriend right now is 6'0 and weights as much as I do. I out of personal experience have learned that such things don't mean much when it comes to connecting with a person. We are one HOT couple too! Even though in my heels I am a bit taller than him.
SmileFace Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 If he really loves you and is in love with you, then he probably doesn't care too much about those 15 pounds, if at all. The stuff people say
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 If he really loves you and is in love with you, then he probably doesn't care too much about those 15 pounds, if at all. Maybe in Disneyland
Leigh 87 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 I went from 110 lbs at 5'5, and a gym junkie, to 132 lbs, without working out at all. My boyfriend does not care. He is not less turned on. He likes the feel and appearance when I do not have a gut though, and so do I, so I am doing cardio again and pilates, for my own pleasure. You tend to feel bad if your actually unhealthy I have found.. if you gained weight due to medication, and if your otherwise active and healthy, then there should not be an issue with men if they are truly into you.
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