GSB81 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Heh, I dont think I chose the right word. For me, though, edgy (in terms of my post) would probably be the exact men I need to stay away from. You know, unattainable, emotionally unavailable, challenging. Ok. Do you consider the friend zoned guy physically attractive at all? I'm honestly just asking for the sake of learning, I'm not trying to bait you and then say something *******ish.
ja123 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Heh, I dont think I chose the right word. For me, though, edgy (in terms of my post) would probably be the exact men I need to stay away from. You know, unattainable, emotionally unavailable, challenging. Well, I see now that these are some of the types of men that I've been going for (and weirdos to the the list, too). I guess, if I'm honest, I've been doing a whole lot of stupidities. But I'm realizing something now ... these kinds of men are safe for me, because I'm the one who has committment issues! I'd never have thought!
Mrlonelyone Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Well, I see now that these are some of the types of men that I've been going for (and weirdos to the the list, too). I guess, if I'm honest, I've been doing a whole lot of stupidities. But I'm realizing something now ... these kinds of men are safe for me, because I'm the one who has committment issues! I'd never have thought! Yeah the psychologist I've seen speak of this give that as a reason people choose unattainable objects of their affection. Deep down they don't really want real intimacy. That and when they get someone real it feels so strange we think there's something wrong with our amore.
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Turn ~35ish. Bwaaaaahaaaaaahaaaaaaa!!!!! Do I present myself as a young inexperienced/ ignorant woman? I admit I can be immature, but I'm a ripe old 37. I'm sorry, but you're old enough to know better. It sounds like you need to change your priorities. Oh damn. Wow. Men in their early to late 20s often assume that when women enter their 30s, they lose their looks and are thus more forgiving with men when it comes to looks, height, attitude, edginess. It's just not really true. The only thing that may change is that they may be more attracted to monetary success.
e40 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Here's the problem, he's a really nice guy.....a little corny and sarcastic, which I like normally.....but I feel nothing. Like even if I was ready to be in a relationship I wouldn't really consider him. How do I break the pattern of going for unavailable men and appreciating the nice available, but not quite egdy guys that like me? I don't think you can.
e40 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Men in their early to late 20s often assume that when women enter their 30s, they lose their looks and are thus more forgiving with men when it comes to looks, height, attitude, edginess. It's just not really true. The only thing that may change is that they may be more attracted to monetary success. Extend this until at least their 40s.
candie13 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Women in their 30's desperately try to convince themselves they look as good as they did a decade ago. The men they really, really want know better. May all men like you think exactly like you, talk exactly like you and be heard, amen !!!
Author mammasita Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Women in their 30's desperately try to convince themselves they look as good as they did a decade ago. The men they really, really want know better. Generalizing is awesome.
phineas Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 OP, you must break him. (spoken in bad movie Russian accent) seriously. Dude is what? pushing 40 & he hasn't yet learned to stop wasting his time on women who just arn't that into him? Was he recently divorced & fresh to dating again? I was like this guy after my divorce. I was also fat. Until someone turned me into their monkey boy, leading me on with "taking it slow" while they banged an ex behind my back. The next woman who tried wasting my time got my silence. Then when she called me up weeks later & said she didn't want a relationship & just wanted to hang out as friends (after we cuddled, kissed, flirted sexually, talked dirty on the phone & she'd changed her pants in front of me. twice (once in a dressing room in a store she "accidently" left the door open & again in my living room when she came over. You know because the bathroom was too far away). Can you say dicktease? Anyway, I told her I had enough friends & to call me up when she wanted to "date". See, I had learned my lesson, stopped wasting time on a woman who didn't want to date me & just kept moving until I found one that did. OP, you must break him. 2
grkBoy Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 How do I break the pattern of going for unavailable men and appreciating the nice available, but not quite egdy guys that like me? I think it comes within the person. Literally every woman I've met who alluded to the very thing you're saying now had to unfortunately get the "lesson in pain". They had to get their hearts broken enough times by enough unavailable men that their mind, body, and soul lost all attraction for them. Too many of these women end up knocked up and abandoned to get to the point where they suddenly now want the "nice available, but not quite egdy guys" who will give them real commitment. Men get the same way. My fiancee is a "nice girl" in most ways...but I had to get burned by enough unavailable women to finally stop seeing them as attractive.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 OP, you must break him. (spoken in bad movie Russian accent) ( Mr lonelyone says: Like this one If he dies... He dies - YouTube ) OP, you must break him. If he dies he dies....then he will wake up and find someone who will appreciate him. Not that your a bad person mamasita. It may just be that you and he are out of sync. He's ready for a relationship with full emotional intimacy (in addition to sex). You're not there yet.
candie13 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 break up with who, they've only been out on 2 dates... let's not get overdramatic here
Mrlonelyone Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 break up with who, they've only been out on 2 dates... let's not get overdramatic here I read this as them knowing eachother for a bit before dating.
candie13 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 I agree, but that asks for time and effort, so in the end, the question is if you'd rather do this for a person you're not really attracted to not not, only because they're nice...
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