Hopeful79 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 My ex emailed me today that he wants to give the custom made kilt he has (in my family's pattern- cost over $500) to my dad. I answered with "we don't want your kilt. He wrote back how he is just trying to be nice and apparently I am in a "I want him completely out of my life mode" and be will just throw it out then. He also said he found other things of mine and should be bother boxing it up or get rid of it. I felt bad and answer that I am not in that mode. I love him and I made it clear a few weeks ago the position I have of where things stand. (A few weeks ago I made it clear i can't be just friends w him and asked him to promise me if he ever wanted me back in his life as a partner to tell me). I have not been talking to him now since I don't want friendship. He wrote back he will try not to take it personally. And also he is getti g a new dog crate so do I want the old one. I am planning to just not answer these emails. I don't care what he does with this stuff. I don't want to be having this conversation. Am I doing the right thing by not answering??
Own Worst Enemy Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 that the right thing is what feels right to YOU. if NC is helping you to heal, and you simply don't want to reply to him, then you don't have to. just think of yourself and your needs/gut instinct. and if the answer is to ignore him, then he's a big boy. he can figure out what to do with a few bits of stuff! x
sol0420 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 You are more than right standing in the position that you are. Why waste your time with someone you love, but that person only wants to be friends. I think its sorta bull**** that he is trying to be just "nice" if he felt any appreciation or respect for what you guys once had in the relationship he would leave you alone. I think he is making this sort of excuses to talk to you either one: because he misses you and wants you back but is a coward to tell you. or second: because he wants you in his life when he might need you. If he has told you he only wants you as a friend, discard the first reason. He needs you for some reason that you definetly wont benefit from.
LeliiMarie612 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 It is pretty clear that he is just using these things as an excuse to talk to you. He doesn't really care about giving you those things and he knows you don't care either, he just wants to have an excuse to talk to you. What you need to do is ignore him for the time being. It's not easy to ignore your ex, especially if you still have feelings, but you need to do what's right for you.
Author Hopeful79 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Well I did answer that first email w one line "we don't want your kilt" and I answered his second email w I am not in that mode of wanting nothing g to do w him and I love him. He knows where I stand (not wanting to be just friends) Then he emailed again he will try to not take it personally (naturally since everything is about him anyways- he is very selfish- huge ego) and asked about the dog crate. I am not going to continue this conversation w him and am not answering again. Just hearing from him sets me back, so it's better i don't answer and ignore him.
Own Worst Enemy Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 emailing back is just prolonging things for you. so don't do it.
cavalier99 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 emailing back is just prolonging things for you. so don't do it. I agree. You need to go 100 percent NC or your going to stifle you healing. And yes answering a mundane email with even a curt response isn't staying NC. One of the goals of NC is that you really start to put some distance between you and the BU and the ex. You don't know anything about them..if they are dating, what they think ecetera. It all starts to drift into the past. Even a short email keeps things in the present and stops you from progressing. If you don't cut this out completely it is on you. You cant expect him to stop contacting you even if you made you wishes clear. You need to block him. 1
destroyed4sho Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 My ex emailed me today that he wants to give the custom made kilt he has (in my family's pattern- cost over $500) to my dad. I answered with "we don't want your kilt. He wrote back how he is just trying to be nice and apparently I am in a "I want him completely out of my life mode" and be will just throw it out then. He also said he found other things of mine and should be bother boxing it up or get rid of it. I felt bad and answer that I am not in that mode. I love him and I made it clear a few weeks ago the position I have of where things stand. (A few weeks ago I made it clear i can't be just friends w him and asked him to promise me if he ever wanted me back in his life as a partner to tell me). I have not been talking to him now since I don't want friendship. He wrote back he will try not to take it personally. And also he is getti g a new dog crate so do I want the old one. I am planning to just not answer these emails. I don't care what he does with this stuff. I don't want to be having this conversation. Am I doing the right thing by not answering?? I think this is a good opportunity to show him what NC is all about!
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