sol0420 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I am 21 years old, almost 22, and 8 months ago I was dating a single dad (23). I had not met anyone like him and I have to say he was my first love in many ways. Its been weeks since I broke it off, and in a sense we were dealing with on and offs some time before but we would always end up together again. At the beginning of our relationship he used to make a lot of time for me, even when he had two jobs and i went to school. Then, he had problems with the ex wife not letting him see his kid, and I always felt bad but I always told him to take her to court because he as a dad had rights as well, especially since he was financially supporting her. But he never did. I always knew he came as a package, meaning to say his kid would always be first in our lives, because now I saw myself with him. I sometimes asked him when I could meet his child, and he would say that when the ex would let him see him more. I honestly only asked because I wanted him to know that I accepted him in every way, and wanted to him to know that I loved him and wanted his kid to be in my life as well. Time passed, and he would only talked depressing stuff about how he hated watching watching his kid cry after leaving him when he visited him probably two days a week. After this, I felt I couldnt do much so I only tried to deviate his attention from that theme. Three months before our breakup he would tell me that the ex would let him see the child more often and he was more happy, but his time for me changed, it was now once a week and it would always be dinner, movie, and sex. Eventually I got tired of it and every week was constant fights. He said he didnt have time (oh I got a job by then- snd he only had one job as well) and while he was working, I was working, and he had to see his son too. Now it really bothered me that he wouldnt even use his mornings for his kid, but that he would take his free day afternoons to see him as well instead of me, knowing that only during my afternoons I was free. Not only that, but my overall jealousy got in, and I only thought of the worst, what if it wasnt his kid taking all of his time? but the ex too? At the end I didnt want to continue because even though I always saw my future with him and knew what he came with, I never thought of the actual feeling of jealousy his ex family would bring me, and this in turn would make me bitter and I would always hold resentment against them. I think I made the right choice, but it still really hurts me that he feels I forced him into making him chose between his son and me. I don't feel that way, I feel I deserve someone who can make time for me and eventually think of a future with me. I thought I was selfish, but I never asked him for almost anything, much less to see me instead of his kid. When he was busy, my answer was always ok, text me later, call me later, and I feel he does not take that into account. Yet I always have this little doubt in me every time he texts me or wants to see me because he "misses me". I want to remain strong, but it hurts so much and I feel like I will never meet someone like him. He really has everything I look for in a guy, except I came in too late. p.s: only after we were done he wanted me to meet his kid, and even came to my place so I could see him, but I wasnt home and never replied.
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