creighton0123 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Boyfriend of two and a half years (14 months long distance) broke it off with me two hours ago. Something about not being in the same place at the same time. In less politically correct words, he simply wasn't happy and I am fine with that. We also share an apartment together, although he is going to pay me the rest in rent and I will resign the lease to the apartment on my own - something I can afford. I'm stressed, but not devastated by any definition. In fact, I see it as an opportunity to grow and perhaps, in five months time, meet someone new who will fit better. Any advice on things to do? Here's what I have done, even though it all might seem rather fast: 1. Called some friends of mine (not his) and informed them of our break up. Asked that they think of me in the coming weeks and invite me out with their friends. I would like to build a new social circle. 2. RSVP'd to a few events on meetup that I would not normally go to. 3. Called my sisters and mother to let them know. 4. Ate lunch and started watching some TV. It all sucks and I am stressed about it, but I feel that will fade in time. I am grateful that this does open me up to the opportunity of meeting someone new who might be a better fit and might be without some of the scruples my new ex had (inability to perform even the most basic form of PDA for fear of being seen as gay and 'making others upset' - in one of the most liberal cities in the country). Words of encouragement always welcome.
destroyed4sho Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Sounds like your all set and ready to move on! Good for you. Why did he break it off??
gonefishin Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Well fair play to you !!! That's a great outlook you have !
Author creighton0123 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Sounds like your all set and ready to move on! Good for you. Why did he break it off?? I felt it coming for a few months. I'm 28. He's 24. I am well set in my career and was interested in settling down, buying a house together, etc. He had just gotten his first job and after a year abroad, was more inclined to spending time with his friends/partying/etc. He was my sixth relationship. I was his first serious relationship. Timing just didn't fit all that well, I think.
Author creighton0123 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Your story sounds somewhat similar to mine, in that it's a BU after the relationship has been limping along, with obvious unsolvable problems, for months. You seem to be dealing with it incredibly well, and I definitely think that rebuilding your social life as a single person is a great step. However, a caution: Be prepared for it to hit you, hard, when you're least expecting it. Possibly at a time when it will be embarrassing for you. Whatever problems you had, there must also have been strong feelings for this guy...and they'll come out, and you'll need to spend some time sobbing in the fetal position. When it happens, please come back for support. ((hugs)) Thank you. I have a hunch this will be the case, but am not one to despair over negative emotions. All emotions are wonderful to me, even if they're painful ones.
destroyed4sho Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I felt it coming for a few months. I'm 28. He's 24. I am well set in my career and was interested in settling down, buying a house together, etc. He had just gotten his first job and after a year abroad, was more inclined to spending time with his friends/partying/etc. He was my sixth relationship. I was his first serious relationship. Timing just didn't fit all that well, I think. He sounds like he had a typical case of GIGS. (read the thread) You sound determined to get over this relationship and this is going to work for you. You may have some setbacks, crying, wanting to contact but it will get better.. (or that is what people want me to believe on this board).. lol. I heard it takes 3 months of NC to totally get over someone. We are here for you.
Author creighton0123 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Thanks, everyone. I am just grateful that, although being dumped, I am financially stronger and can easily afford to remain in my apartment without the small contributions he has been making to rent and utilities. Although it will be somewhat difficult to see this as my apartment in the next few weeks, especially given the fact that there is an entire room that was his office that I never used.
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