Harare Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Hi everyone, i ll try to make my story short and understandable (english is my 2nd language) as possible. I was in 2,5 years long relationship with girl that was my best female friend for few years longer. Relationship was quite good and we were making long term plans. However around last summer, things was going south so she asked for a break. I didnt want it but still didnt make any drama about it and just instantly went strict NC. We didnt hear each other for about 4 months, and then she initiated contact and asked me for a drink. Firsty i simply rejected it, but she was persistent so we met a month later. There was a lot of chemistry in the air on our meeting but i told her that i dont want a relationship. But she became even more persistant, and literaly begged me back so after some time I fell for it and took her back. (i never lost feelings for her during our break). At first she was rushing things fast but i didnt really have anything against it. So we had 1 month honeymoon phase. And suddenly she started to act distant. She have lot of work so i wasnt really upset about it. But after some time i became a bit annoyed and called her for a drink and told her that i have full respect for her duties but that i would like to make some time for me also. She said ok, but only thing that changed was that she contacted me even less. So i told her that maybe we rushed things too fast so we should slow down and that I dont want her to feel pressured in relationship, and she agreed. And after that, I didnt hear from her. I dont initiate contact either. So basicly we are now ignoring each other, even on IM when we are both online. I m ready to move on, but still don t want to move on if there is any chance for repair things. So i guess waiting for her to initiate contact and show that she is willing to try to work out things between us is only possible solution? Any advice is very much appriciated. EDIT: forgot to mention that when we had our last conversation i openly asked her if she wants to continue relationship, and she told : yes without any hesitation.
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 EDIT: forgot to mention that when we had our last conversation i openly asked her if she wants to continue relationship, and she told : yes without any hesitation. Then let her prove it! Her actions say otherwise right now. She broke up with you. She wanted to get back together. Then she proceeded to ignore you. Ignore HER. When she is over her confusion and is bored of playing silly games, she can come find you and become an attentive GF...if you are even still interested in her at that point. Hopefully you're smart enough to quit now. Anyway, get on with your life. You obviously aren't in a relationship if she has been ignoring you for some time, but is alive and clearly well enough to IM her other random friends. 1
Author Harare Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Anyway, get on with your life. You obviously aren't in a relationship if she has been ignoring you for some time, but is alive and clearly well enough to IM her other random friends. I agree with you completely But this IM thing is a bit confusing part... She disappeared from IM for few days... When i stopped contacting her she appeared again... And now a little embarrasing thing... I checked her IM (i know its low, but when someone ignores you without reason you can do shameful things ) and she is IM-ing only me... So now when started disappearing i see her hanging there for some time (i m on invisible), and when i come online she stays there for some time and disappears.. (quite looks like she wants me to initiate conversation, but if I do, conversations are quite short, about casual stuff and somehow cold, and then she say she have to go). Bah, when i write this, I feel like I m 15, not 27
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 (edited) It happens. Love can make us feel and do silly things. Still, she is short and curt when you reach out via IM. She doesn't initiate. She doesn't call. She doesn't text. She doesn't visit. I'm guessing, if you didn't occasionally reach out on IM there would be zero interaction? Sorry, but it's not rocket surgery. She's not really interested. For whatever reason, she is choosing to string you along. Like a 15-year old, you have put your love life on hold while she jerks you around. Does this make any sense? Move on rather than engaging in her games. You aren't a chew toy for her to play with when she's bored. You deserve a little more consideration, don't you think? Edited February 11, 2013 by Cutiepie1976 1
Author Harare Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Yes, you are completely right It is sad that people ask so much for 2nd chance, and when they get it they blow it away so easily. Thanks for great reply
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