gearhead9 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 (edited) So a girl I was dating for a month decided to go back to her ex. Everything was going well until she suddenly stopped contact with me one day and not answering my calls or responding to my texts. I understand that one month is nothing but it still hurts. I was confused but did not have any answers why since she was ignoring me and not talking to me. I had a feeling she was getting back with her ex but I needed to know for sure so I could move on. After a few more calls and texts, she finally responds with a text that she is back with her ex, sorry that she wasted my time and that's why she's been ignoring me. I was hurt but not surprised. I responded with telling her I had a feeling that she was back with him and wishing her the best and that I'll remember the time we spent together. My question is should I have even responded as I did or should I have said something different? Should I have just not responded at all? Was I too nice? Was my response lame and does it make me look weak being that I'm still being nice after she basically used me as a rebound guy? Thanks for any and all replies. Edited February 10, 2013 by gearhead9
Decisive Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I'd say you did it right. You let her own the decision to go back and did so with confidence in your statement. As long as you don't do anything to validate her reasons for her decision (ie begging, following her around, etc) she will always look upon you with respect - and perhaps wonder if she did the right thing. Take pride in making a positive statement about yourself.
morichu Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Doesn't really matter at this point as she wouldn't have cared either way whether you responded or didn't. The only right thing to do is not chase her back. It's pretty simple logic really. Just be glad this happened earlier instead of way down the line 1
Darren Steez Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Some people are users. She didn't have the figurative balls to tell you she was getting back with her ex while she was dating you, then literally drops off the face of the earth. These kinds of people you don't need in your life and they definitely don't deserve all the time you put into thinking what you did wrong and how you responded to stuff afterwards. Heck even girls can be a**holes, do you wanna lose sleep over an a**hole. No? GOOD!! Move on
Author gearhead9 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 (edited) Thank you for all for your thoughts. It has helped me immensely. Darren Steez: Yes, I know she didn't have the courage to tell me in person or even on the phone. She probably disappeared because she was afraid and and too weak to deal with the consequences of telling me, (such as being questioned and asked for explanations), and not because she didn't respect me. But regardless, you it's not right to leave someone in the dark like. We are adults. You need to own up to your actions. It's hard to not think about and pick apart the situation, but I really had no chance. I can't compete with the ex because they have an established history already. Morichu: I know not chasing her back is the right thing to do and I will not chase her back. Joaquin: Thank you for your reassurance. Decisive: You're right. I did make her own her decision and I do have a feeling she is second guessing her decision, or at least hurting a little. I know she looks upon me in a good light because she texted me back saying I always treated her with respect and she wished the best for me. I have not responded back and I know you guys will say not to and to go NC and leave her hanging with her last message to me, but I still have some things I want her to know. I'll have to think about whether or not I want to contact her one last time and tell her. Edited February 12, 2013 by gearhead9
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