Archgirl Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 No, most FWB's do NOT lead to a relationship. Most end up with someone getting HURT. Just because you want something more from her, doesnt mean MOST MEN in this situation would. (Most men wouldnt...FWB's rarely lead to relationships) My experiences were not bad. I had one want me as a girlfriend but I rejected him. I didnt have FWB's that I really liked- they were usually hot men with personalities I didnt like so I never got burned they just fizzled out Yes FWB's involve situations with sex, but men will feign emotional interest to get more out of the situation without committing (emotional support, cooking and so on...) Also when the sex starts to wane down theyll act interested so it can start up again. Look I had 3 guys FLAT OUT tell me they did this. I didnt need them to. I am observer of human nature and people will milk what they can without committing sometimes. None of these guys wanted to be with these girls either. Sorry if my experiences dont mesh with yours but I tell it how it is on here. Being realistic does not mean im negative FWB's dont do affectionate stuff...maybe some dont. But certainly several I have seen between others and within my own personal experience, yes. Look for kaylan's posts on here, he is a good example of a guy who is affectionate with a casual sex situation. Not all guys are like you Mine always have led to a relationship, not always a long term one, but always into more. And if you get hurt, you'll get over it and move on.
Author AverageCat Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Lol.. the above posts are making me kind of insecure... Im not too sure if she's using me as just an emotional tampon and value giver... (My life is socially more interesting than hers) But I mean... We're seeing each other 2 x a week and most importantly are really there's just some intimate stuff that sometimes you can't fake. You can hug and cuddle. but when it comes to her kissing my hands and waking me up caressing my face in the morning.... I mean you re just asking for me to fall for you goddamn it. When you're together, and you're having some ordinary conversation, just look her in the eyes and don't say anything during some pregnant pause when she's maybe expecting you to say something. She'll probably say, 'What?'. Go over to her, hold her face gently in your hands, kiss her softly and meaningfully. Then look straight into her eyes and tell her that you tried to be cool about her, and tried to not let yourself care, but she's so incredible that you just melt inside when you're around her. Look straight into her eyes the whole time, hold her face gently. Be open and honest. I'm sure every guy here, especially animalover, is going to scoff at this move, but you're not trying to get a guy, right? Barnacle Bob. I like this post a lot. I know I can pull this off without looking cheesy. But the problem is ... what after? So I told her that she's incredible. Cool......
Archgirl Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Then do nothing, carry on as normal and wait for her to reciprocate in some way (might not be immediately if you've caught her by suprise)
Author AverageCat Posted February 13, 2013 Author Posted February 13, 2013 See the post above. Quick question: how old are both of you? Im 23, she's 26... About vulnerabilities. I agree. I have opened up to her. We both have talked about some pretty deep topics. About how people in our lives have always moved away, about past relationships, etc. But I am not sure what other vulnerabilities to show. I honestly don't think I have many... except her atm. When she left her facebook open in my pc I noticed that she was searching a lot more for this guy who she talks with all day every day, than me... and that was my main reason for all this insecurities... (and the fact that she said to just think about the present). Lastly it's so weird, it's like she's a whole different person to him. I could go days without texting her and she'll never seek an explanation. From him it could be an hr and she ll immediately ask him why he hasn't answered.... EDIT: Idk if that's because she's more into him, or just because she's used to having him talking to her all the time.
Archgirl Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 ok now you're just making yourself nuts, harden up dude! She's sleeping with you and wanting to hang out with you...this is seriously the last time i'm going to reassure you about this!
Author AverageCat Posted February 13, 2013 Author Posted February 13, 2013 ok now you're just making yourself nuts, harden up dude! She's sleeping with you and wanting to hang out with you...this is seriously the last time i'm going to reassure you about this! LOL you should see me laughing at this. Funny thing is that I am usually so cool about stuff. ALWAYS have had the mindset that whatever's gonna happen is gonna so nbd and just be happy and share quality time with quality people. But not this time.. IM ****KKKKKED And Barnacle Bob, I've read a bunch of your posts on here. Let me boost your confidence and say that you seem to have your **** down 1
pbjbear Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 (edited) I never said FWBs lead to relationships. I said frequent emotional intimacy + sleeping leads to one. I think I have my **** down pretty well. AND - while you're obviously affectionate with a FWB, you never exceed certain boundaries. For example you never hang out with her more than once a week (or 10 days) and you never EVER call her, or txt her to ask her about her day.... AND obviously YOU NEVER EVER EVER take her out on a date. Otherwise girls will usually start wanting more and say good-bye to your casual sex and you're gonna have to make an ALL or NOTHING decision.. And honestly you don't seem to have been with guys who're that great or smart. They admitted to pretty much lying to women to get in their pants..... Even if I did that, I would never admit it. It's like saying to a store owner... YE I shoplift all the time.... WTF? Lastly what was the situation with the guy who wanted to get exclusive with you and you didn't want to? And why did you not want to? All my FWB's did those things at some point, except for dates like "going out to eat at a restaurant" dates The guys Im referring to arent dicks. They are honest with me because they know I can handle the truth. Im a blatantly honest person I dont hold back so I guess they felt comfortable telling me that. Even if they didnt, one can figure it out. The guy who wanted to be exclusive with me did not have personality traits that I was looking for in a boyfriend. I did nothing wrong and I never led him on... Sorry but there are guys that exist that do ALL of the stuff the OP says (emotional mushy stuff with FWB's) who honestly DONT want to be the girl's boyfriend. Just because you wouldnt do it (only because then youd be forced to commit like you said...) doesnt mean other guys dont... Also, some girls can separate sex from love. Just because Im having sex with a guy and hanging out with him doesnt mean Im automatically going to want him to be my boyfriend...in fact the kind of guy who wants a FWB situation first is NOT the kind of guy I would consider boyfriend material Edited February 14, 2013 by pbjbear
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