ReadMyThread Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Stupidest f****** move I ever did. Checked the guy that my ex left me for's Facebook which then led me to checking my ex's Facebook. This guy she left me for was posting all these posts before him leaving for boot camp. Posting pictures of him in his uniform. Pictures of him with his shirt off showing off his perfect stupid body. My ex likes everything he posts. Still until this day. Seems this guy is actually doing something with his life and I feel like nothing. Then I check her Facebook. See two pictures she posted of herself just looking Beautiful. It seems she has got even more beautiful ever since we broke up. that also makes me feel like nothing. It wasn't the pictures that hurt but seeing how many "likes" she got on these pictures is what made me upset. She got a whole buch from alllll different guys and all I could think to myself was,"yeah, she use to be mine." I don't know. I always thought she was out of my league it it's all adding up that she truly is. Now she has him, a guy that can match up to what she looks like. She's growing and getting more beautiful and deserves someone she can be happy to say that, "thats my boyfriend."...that wasn't me. Wont ever will be. Never was. I'll never look at myself the same as I did. Now I'm disgusted with what I look like and who I am. All because of what she did to me. I was fine before I met but now I live everyday hoping my life would be over already. Seriously. I'm giving up. I've tried and tried to work on myself and do this and that but it obvisouly isn't working. I think I need to just settle with the life I have and realize that I will never have another girlfriend that was as beautiful as she was. Just go on everyday like this. This **** sucks. I feel like I'll never be happy. I've been unhappy for the last 3 months. This ruined me and my life.
Author ReadMyThread Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Talk. To. A. Therapist. I urge you. Lol nah. Even a therapist would get annoyed with all the thoughts that run through my head and how I think about her everyday...blah blah blah.
drpepper1886 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Lol nah. Even a therapist would get annoyed with all the thoughts that run through my head and how I think about her everyday...blah blah blah. No they wouldn't. I'm seeing one and he would listen to me talk about my ex every time if I wanted to, but eventually you just get kind of tired of talking about it. You'll get through it!
na49 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 A therapists job is to listen to all of your problems and try to help you. (I think) and that's what you need if you truly feel this way. now I live everyday hoping my life would be over already. Seriously. You need to be strong. You're letting this beat you and not even putting up a fight. How do I know you're not putting up a fight? Because you're checking up on her! DUDE! She's gone. She's been gone. You have to try to help yourself. I struggle with it too. I have urges to just see what she's up to. but I have to remember that the girl I love is gone. The girl I love has been gone for 4 months now. The girl she is now, is not the girl that I loved. She changed. Her feelings changed. She doesn't want me. I have to accept it because there's nothing I can do. Nothing at all. There's nothing you can do either. Self defeating thoughts won't help you either. You're going at this the wrong way. To move on you have to want to move on. If you want to let this ruin your life. You can. If you want to move past this as a stronger person you need to put the work in. I've learned that no one is going to feel sorry for us. They don't care how hurt we are. It's not their job to care how hurt we are. We aren't their problem anymore. We are our own problem now. and we have a lot of work to do. I'm wondering, if you had her back in your life, would you really feel like your life had meaning again? If she called you tomorrow and asked for you back, would you really do a 180 and feel like life was worth living again? If that's the case. Your problems may be deeper than just the BU. 2
PinkSapphire Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 It is easy to put all your feelings of worth into this girl; a great way to camouflage and not work on the real problems, whatever they may be. People do this all the time, whether it is drugs or food or shopping or people. Much easier to manufacture a problem or issue and blame everyting on that. As another poster said, would having her back really help you feel better about yourself? Likely not, but pretending that it is eliminates needing to face the real issues. I know they aren't fun, and I have done this myself in the past with food. It is just a manufactured problem to pin all your bad feelings on so we don't have to actually face facts and work on ourselves. But, in the end, it is better and more fulfilling to work on yourself and become a better person. I wont lie, the interim is the worst time you will have in your life. It will be painful, extremely hard, sobering, and just pretty awful. You have to admit ugly truths about who you are and then change that (even harder). But it is worth it, and much healthier then keeping this "issue" (the BU) around as your scapegoat and eventually finding some other coping mechanism (drugs alcohol, etc) Therapy, stat. Good luck! 1
destroyed4sho Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Stupidest f****** move I ever did. Checked the guy that my ex left me for's Facebook which then led me to checking my ex's Facebook. This guy she left me for was posting all these posts before him leaving for boot camp. Posting pictures of him in his uniform. Pictures of him with his shirt off showing off his perfect stupid body. My ex likes everything he posts. Still until this day. Seems this guy is actually doing something with his life and I feel like nothing. Then I check her Facebook. See two pictures she posted of herself just looking Beautiful. It seems she has got even more beautiful ever since we broke up. that also makes me feel like nothing. It wasn't the pictures that hurt but seeing how many "likes" she got on these pictures is what made me upset. She got a whole buch from alllll different guys and all I could think to myself was,"yeah, she use to be mine." I don't know. I always thought she was out of my league it it's all adding up that she truly is. Now she has him, a guy that can match up to what she looks like. She's growing and getting more beautiful and deserves someone she can be happy to say that, "thats my boyfriend."...that wasn't me. Wont ever will be. Never was. I'll never look at myself the same as I did. Now I'm disgusted with what I look like and who I am. All because of what she did to me. I was fine before I met but now I live everyday hoping my life would be over already. Seriously. I'm giving up. I've tried and tried to work on myself and do this and that but it obvisouly isn't working. I think I need to just settle with the life I have and realize that I will never have another girlfriend that was as beautiful as she was. Just go on everyday like this. This **** sucks. I feel like I'll never be happy. I've been unhappy for the last 3 months. This ruined me and my life. First of all you sound superficial...like the only thing that is important to you is beauty. Get over it. Eventually beauty fades and all you have is the person and there character. Who the person is, values, personality, REALLY loving you, support is priceless! Also, dont think you will not get someone as beautiful as her. Wait until you hit your late 30s- there are going to be plenty of single beautiful women that havent been married yet and dont care about looks anymore. Example: me.
Author ReadMyThread Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 A therapists job is to listen to all of your problems and try to help you. (I think) and that's what you need if you truly feel this way. You need to be strong. You're letting this beat you and not even putting up a fight. How do I know you're not putting up a fight? Because you're checking up on her! DUDE! She's gone. She's been gone. You have to try to help yourself. I struggle with it too. I have urges to just see what she's up to. but I have to remember that the girl I love is gone. The girl I love has been gone for 4 months now. The girl she is now, is not the girl that I loved. She changed. Her feelings changed. She doesn't want me. I have to accept it because there's nothing I can do. Nothing at all. There's nothing you can do either. Self defeating thoughts won't help you either. You're going at this the wrong way. To move on you have to want to move on. If you want to let this ruin your life. You can. If you want to move past this as a stronger person you need to put the work in. I've learned that no one is going to feel sorry for us. They don't care how hurt we are. It's not their job to care how hurt we are. We aren't their problem anymore. We are our own problem now. and we have a lot of work to do. I'm wondering, if you had her back in your life, would you really feel like your life had meaning again? If she called you tomorrow and asked for you back, would you really do a 180 and feel like life was worth living again? If that's the case. Your problems may be deeper than just the BU. I understand she is gone and now is a different person. I had to find out the hard way by getting bak together with her for a second time and seeing the changed person for a week. That was almost as painfull as the break-up itself which tells myself I know I'm better off without her but I don't want to be and it hurts I have to do so. I just wish I never met her. Then I would have never felt like this.
Author ReadMyThread Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 First of all you sound superficial...like the only thing that is important to you is beauty. Get over it. Eventually beauty fades and all you have is the person and there character. Who the person is, values, personality, REALLY loving you, support is priceless! Also, dont think you will not get someone as beautiful as her. Wait until you hit your late 30s- there are going to be plenty of single beautiful women that havent been married yet and dont care about looks anymore. Example: me. I think your right about that. I'm just young and stupid lol. How can you not care about looks anymore!? I seem to think too much of looks obvisouly. I wish I didn't.
cavalier99 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Yo ReadMyThread! How it going bro..besides obvious setback. I still wonder about you sometimes and how you were doing. Come on man it cant be all that bad. I think you exaggerating your despair. This was low moment..and so what if marine boy can kick your ass and f*ck you girlfriend..he getting sloppy seconds and licking up your %$%^^ anyway. Lol Are still banging that chick from work? Cav
cavalier99 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Am I the only one disturbed by the notion that someone only seems to mourn "beauty" and how they will never have a partner more "beautiful" than the last one? Well he's like 18 so it makes sense. Its just a self esteem thing. But I id do see your point. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Lol nah. Even a therapist would get annoyed with all the thoughts that run through my head and how I think about her everyday...blah blah blah. No they wouldn't. That's their job.
destroyed4sho Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 I think your right about that. I'm just young and stupid lol. How can you not care about looks anymore!? I seem to think too much of looks obvisouly. I wish I didn't. I don't care that much about looks because I have been around the block a few times and I don't think looks are so important in a relationship anymore. I mean I am not so picky as long as I can kiss the person then I am ok. But I am not going to try to find someone that looks like they should be on the front cover of a magazine. I am less visual than I used to be. I think as you get older, looks start to matter less.
Charlie Harper Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 I have been in love 6 times in my life (crazy bonkers in love), Never say Ill never find someone like her as (beautiful/great/funny/Inteligent/Hot/sexy), because life always gives you what you deserve...and if you think you are worthless, probably you will end up alone or with an ugly/selfish/bad person... 1
Author ReadMyThread Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Yo ReadMyThread! How it going bro..besides obvious setback. I still wonder about you sometimes and how you were doing. Come on man it cant be all that bad. I think you exaggerating your despair. This was low moment..and so what if marine boy can kick your ass and f*ck you girlfriend..he getting sloppy seconds and licking up your %$%^^ anyway. Lol Are still banging that chick from work? Cav I'm alright. Could be better. Lol. Your absolutely right. It could be much worse. **** just got to me last night. I was all alone and my neice's iPod was sitting next to me and my curiosity got to me and then I looked like an idiot lol. But I'm good now. Just had a low moment. I should have just came here and posted instead of looking at all that lol but now I know. As for the girl Im banging at work lol.........she's my girlfriend now lol. I think that's why I haven't been on here so much lately to be honest lol. She makes me happy and I like being around her. It keeps my mind off my ex. We made it official like 3 weeks ago. Lol. she's cool. Lol. How you been Cav!? Your always there for me! Lol.
Author ReadMyThread Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Am I the only one disturbed by the notion that someone only seems to mourn "beauty" and how they will never have a partner more "beautiful" than the last one? It's not just that. She was the first girl I ever been in love with and I'm affraid I won't ever have that again. The feelings we had, the things we did, memorie, all that bullsh**. Yeah she was very beautiful and yeah I feel I'll never get a girl as beautiful as she was but that's not all of it. I miss how fun she was. How I would tease her about Everytime she messed up saying something. Watching movies with her. Much more. I miss HER, not the way she LOOKED. Calm down lol.
Author ReadMyThread Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 I don't care that much about looks because I have been around the block a few times and I don't think looks are so important in a relationship anymore. I mean I am not so picky as long as I can kiss the person then I am ok. But I am not going to try to find someone that looks like they should be on the front cover of a magazine. I am less visual than I used to be. I think as you get older, looks start to matter less. See, I very much agree with you. I'm too young to understand but I am growing so I should eventually see it how you see it. And besides, this was my FIRST serious relationship I've had so its understandable. I need to realize that looks aren't as much as I make them seem. Looks aren't what makes the relationship last, it's the way you feel and working together. Right?
Author ReadMyThread Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 I have been in love 6 times in my life (crazy bonkers in love), Never say Ill never find someone like her as (beautiful/great/funny/Inteligent/Hot/sexy), because life always gives you what you deserve...and if you think you are worthless, probably you will end up alone or with an ugly/selfish/bad person... Fuc*! This makes a lot of sense. Lol. But noted. Never say that again, gotcha. Thank you.
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