If its meant to be they will come back to you.

[djones]

Hey Guys,

 

Beautiful--Thanks for the post, Yeah I have been thinking that I have to reevaluate myself I was thinking that the other day, I need some time for myself and look at the big picture of my life

 

Wantans4---dude you do bring life to this group...I know you are bitter and you still hurt...but keep going...man...you help me a lot with me getting angry....i think yesterday (last night) was the first time I got to the stage where I was really Piss#ed and I did not Give a s*** and just dont care about the situation...thanks...I am now mello and more relaxed....what ever happens happens...I tired my best and I think you are right in your few posts before maybe you and I are the few lucky (or unlucky) bastards that should not doanything for something to happen to us....well I am doing the "opposite" now ***** it is my moto .....I have done all I could and now I am just goign to focus on me....get my carreer/business going and buy me a *****ing new car....

 

MJ108-- thanks again...you are definately an angel....you got a couple of guys here that will help break a guys leg if someone else tries to break your heart again...then again you could prob, do that on your own ...yeah I will go to a gym...and vent on some peice of iron....dont compare your self to her, she does not stand a lick comparied to you.....thats his loss....I like the famous wantans4 said "***** it"

 

 

Crazydawg--- you gave me a funny thgouht...it would be cool to have a couple of beers with you all!!

 

Take care

[Nick14]

Well, I dunno how I feel today, I guess kinda indifferent. I guess with wanton getting mad last night, I got mad with him and then got depressed after. Hell, I even said ***** it and went to sleep at 10:30 last night. Woke up, on and off during the night like usual (don't think I ever had a good night sleep for the last month). Woke up at 2am and thought I heard the main house phone ring, but i think i was just dreaming of her calling for help or something, ugh... I guess for now on, I give up on being the chaser with her or anybody else. For once, they need to be the chaser, I get mentally tired, chasing chasing chasing. So ya, i still miss her but damn I can't do a damn thing about it now. It sucks...ya go me (NOT). Day 7 of NC and a month and 2 weeks since the break.

[LexiB]

Hey guys.

 

I love the whole "family" vibe thats been created here--by far my favorite and THE BEST thread on this site!!! Over the past 4 months, ive always felt great after coming here and reading everyones posts. B/c even if noone has any good news to report, its great just seeing everyone console eachother from an paitient and understanding point of view instead of a pitying or fa why-cant-you-just-get-over-it attitude.

 

Its true what was said earlier, everyone here seems like a great catch. I wish I knew why good people get screwed over so much in the romance dept. But one thing Ive always stuck to during this whole time is the knowledge that I WILL have love in my life again one day and its gonna be great--whether or not its with my ex.

 

Drjones, dont give up on God. I understand you, I went thru the same thing where I went from praying to God for help to deal w/ the pain to flat cursing Him for making me go thru this at all. I think abt it like this now: even if I didnt see the problem, there was obviously something very wrong in our relationship if we broke up, bottom line. Now if by some twist of fate we do end up getting back together, its gonna be for real b/c Im sure as hell not gonna get involved again until Im positive that neither of us has any baggage left over from the last time. I want both of us to be honest abt what we want from one another, what we wont stand for ,ect. just so that there arent any confusions this time. No one will be able to accuse the other of "changing" b/c all the cards will have been out on the table from the start. Lol, I know this may seem like a contract or something and nothing is certain but if both ppl can come to the relationship agreeing on those things, I think the odds are pretty good that there wont be another hellish break up.

 

What I mean by all my rambling is, that if any of us do get back w/ our exes, as hellish as it is, this break up can only stand to improve the new relationship. We will all be wiser, smarter, stronger even more mature the second time around. And honestly the same holds true if we dont reconcile with them--we'll just be all the more prepared for when we meet our true loves; the ones that are really worthy of us--and have faith, cause we will! I mean there is no way that a bunch of intelligent, loving, honest, successful, passionate, caring, independent and just plain sexy people such as ourselves could possible be alone forever.

 

This is just one step we unfortunately have to take to get us ready for our next stage in life (U2's "Stuck in a Moment" is pretty good reference). I also console myself by thinking that I'll truely be a great help to anyone I meet that has to go thru something like this in the future--maybe even my own children-- bc I now know what true pain feels like.

 

We just gotta keep putting it in perspective--there always a bigger picture...

[WantanS4]

My problem now is.. taht I'm just not attracted to anyone.... What I mean is... women/girls just don't do it for me enough for me to make an effor to strike up a conversation or anything else.

 

Gosh this sucks......... here I am... battling myself (again.. when I shouldn't be)......... and she's probably off somewhere with someone else laughing/smiling/getting laid.............. damn her!

 

Damn HER!

 

Agh!

[djones]

Hey Guys,

 

LexiB--there is allways room for you and others we have a good unit here...these guys have helped a lot.....yeah I am still question God...I still have not seen what why the break up happend, I know it was to get my life in order, but i dont think it had to end in a breakup...but thats too long to explain now, and we will see in time what happens....as for the get over it attitude I know my firends here just like yours and the rest are tired of it...but you see they are happy now they found someone and they dont know what it is like...they may have been heart boken in the pass but right now all I know is that I am getting older i am 30 and they are moving on with someone that has made a comitment with them....they guys here are tring to deal with heartbreak in the hopes of finding that right person....untill that happens this place is great to just vent and go through the proceess, it helps big time...you get Wantans4 edge to help give us a kick in the @$$ and MJ108 a females perspective on things, nick14 just going through the breakup...you can see the porgression of everyone...as you read the posts....me and kodiak are going about the same and it helps when someone is there and will not get tired of hearing the same thing....we had one great news with Dugs so we know people will leave and thats what we want..everyone to get the ***** out of here...once they found someone to care for them....

 

Nick14-- ***** good word....I am mentally tired too, I never thought of it that way....my mind has been like sh@t for the last couple of months...its on burnout mode

[Nick14]

Well, bro, I am in the same boat as you. I am sick of chasing her and other girls. Its time for her and others to chase me, if there really serious. I am done with this crap, so ***** it!

[mj108]

Weird---Yeah, I think everyone here got their heart broken but we just need to get stronger as the days go by & get over it....& I'm sure we will find the person that deserves us.

 

crazydawg--I agree with you about having a few brews with Kodiak. Actually, I think all of us should have an ex-bashing brew fest!

 

drjones---Thanks for all your advice! You have helped me so much. I feel like slapping the crap out of all the exes & say "Wise up you DA! You have a good guy here you lucky B**ch!" (Sorry for the language...I'm still bitter..ha) I agree with WantanS4s motto "***** it!" Let's have an ex-bashing brew fest! I'm in!

 

Nick14--Hang in there! You seem like a great guy! Just like you said, It's time for all the exes to do the chasing.

 

LexiB--Read your post & totally agree with you! Nice to hear from you again. Keep in touch.

 

Kodiak--My Drinking Brother! Wish I could had played some poker with ya. I hope you have fun on the fishing/hunting trip. I'm leaving to go on vacation either on Sat. or Sun. I'm sure I'll think about him but I'm going to try to keep busy, you know?

 

About the letter---go with what your heart feels but you have to remind yourself that she never responded to the card you sent. She may not respond to the letter. If it's going to hurt you if she doesn't respond to the letter---I think you shouldn't send it. BUT if it's going to give you closure, send it.

 

Age 23--settling down? Really it's according on how mature she is. She may just want to be on her own. I've been out on my own since I was 17 so at age 23, I was ready to settle down. Has she ever been out on her own before? You can't go by the age of a person. It's what people go through in life that makes them more mature. I hang out with a younger crowd than myself since I look 25 lol & some of my friends that are around 23 act more mature than me. Then I do have a 24 year old friend that is wild as hell & hasn't grown up yet. So, it all depends. Sorry I'm not able to answer your question. If she hasn't been out on her own--maybe she wants to take this time to do it?

 

As for me---I'm getting out tonight. I didn't get any sleep because the dreams of him. ***** it! I'm getting the heck out of my house---too many memories driving me crazy!! I'm going to deck out in my mini-dress & go hit the town & have a drink! I haven't dranked in awhile...maybe it'll calm my nerves & make me sleep tonight. So, if I get to posting late...you guys...& I act nutty---sorry. It's time to hit the road, have fun, & drink me a beer!

 

Take care everyone--Stay strong!

 

MJ

[head/heels]

guys.... i have found out the same things as Nick, and backspn so i know how it is all going for you....

 

It has been since Aug 11 since the break up of a 4 year relationship.... anyway she held it inside that she was having mixed feelings about us and finally broke up with me months later!!!

 

i left for med school the next day and I HAD TO CALL HER TO TALK TO HER THE DAY BEFORE AND THIS IS WHEN SHE BROKE UP WITH ME----OVER THE PHONE!

 

she became interested in someone from her hometown when she went back there from our uni....that was one week before the breakup

 

she spoke with her friends, who by the way, have been in abusive relationships, had restraining orders, and were pregnant and had kids in High School...

 

She was the prom queen at her HS, she (i believe) rebelled from her Christian (but very great and loving parents [not like the mom from the movie CARRIE christian is what i mean by "but very great"])

She went out with a trashy guy who cheated on her and called her names so she became friends with his friends and hence the crappy friends she ran too when her uni friends were out of state over the summer!

 

Wantan- you are right, her friends gave her bad advice, partly because they are jealous of how she got out of the small ****py town and went to colllege, and had a bf who spoiled her rotten and took special care of her and took her on trips to Puerto Rico, and other getaways when we both had time...I tryed to make her feel like a princess always and bent over backwards to do this...She had low self-esteem from the 1st guy and i helped her quell that, but when it came back and problems she had with me arose, she held it in and let it eat at her and our relationship! SUCKS

 

So as of now i have been working out, going out with friends, and it is great....

SURE I STILL THINK OF HER , but i dont talk to my friends about her and i HAVENT CONTACTED HER IN : i believe two days before I was set to propose to her on SEPT 30....(and this was email) about 16 days and havent spoke with her on the phone for probably 3 weeks and will not again SHE DIDNT DESERVE ME AND I REALIZE IT!!!

SHE BLESSED ME WHEN SHE LET ME GO! NOW I CAN FIND SOMEONE WHO REALLY LOVES ME AND KNOWS HOW TO HANDLE HERSELF IN SITUATIONS THAT COME ABOUT IN RELATIONSHIPS...

 

SO i am calling alot of the girls i know that i had chemistry with in the past but didnt pan out for 1 reason or another and ask if they want to get a drink or go out with my friends and I....

I also am very out going and if i see a very good looking girl out and about I ask her if she would like to do something sometime (of course this is after i talk to her about her classes or her job or make small talk)

What have i got to lose? If she isnt a great person, i know how to spot it now, and if she is then i will take things slow and look for the RED FLAGS and just have fun and not let my heart go too quickly like last time!

 

Hope this helps

[djones]

Hey Wantans4,

 

***** I know exactly what you mean I just have not interests in finding a woman or just dating......its like I dont give a ***** anymore......I dont think even a mail order russian bride that is hot looking would get my interest....I would prob would just start up drinking Vodka if i was with her.....***** actually Vodka would be good right now....

[djones]

GUys,

 

I just finished typing my posts and I saw s*** load from teh rest of you all....what I noticed is that we all want to get some BEvERages...wow we are starting to think on the same wave lenght....theres the *****ing force for ya!!

[Nick14]

You know right now, i am listening to the song by sarah mclachlin called "building a mystery". Its like your wondering why **** goes to pieces and your trying to pick up every clue of those pieces and trying to build a mystery. The one thing I don't get and she brought up the last time we saw each other in person, she told me and i qoute "I dunno Nick, its like as if I don't know you anymore, like everything in the past was not true and that you just changed your stories". 1. I don't know why that came out, that was so random. 2. Everything in my past was true and if it seem like I was changing my stories, i was just adding on to what was already told, because I felt comfortable with actually saying that. Wow, only had 2 relationships in the past and 1 semi so-so that didn't last long before I met my current ex. My dad's accident was for real. I had a crappy teenage life and highschool life, just like she did. Everything was true, I just don't get why goes off and brings that up, I think its just a excuse to push me away. Another thing, I think its balony, is that she says she doesn't have feelings for me anymore. I bet my lifesavings, thats not true and that in her head she may think that but in her heart, I know she has strong feeling still. I know thats why she's is already jumping on another guy after a month break, hoping that those feeling will go away. Obviously we all know that won't work either, thats why its called a rebound and fate will come into play and make her realize how stupid she is and that those feelings for me will still be there, so who knows, I could always be wrong

[Nick14]

Hey Dr. jones, we should all get on MSN messenger one night and just drink away on a weekend.

[mj108]

Yeah...let's get out drunk on..on msn messenger. lol

[mj108]

What I was meaning to say...Is let us get OUR drunk on...on msn messenger. Dang...already making mistakes & I'm not even drinking yet.

[WantanS4]

Would it be possible for me to trademark the phrase "***** IT!"???

 

 

Now, I feel better........ I don't know why... it's weird! No more anxiety... no more heartache. WEIRD!!!!

[djones]

Hey Guys,

 

I am up again, its 12:30 am atleast, I have a weird nightmare this one was like a horror movie....oh well such is life...I hope all is well with you guys

[Nick14]

damn sorry dr.jones. Ya I just got back from a company league softball game. We got our asses handed to us, not much fun, especially when I lost my balance on the basepaths and scraped the hell out of both of my knees. Man I thought pavement was rough, yeesh. So, as I left, I looked at my knees and automatically thought of my current ex. Geez, out of 2 past ex's I had, this one really care about me if I got hurt and comforted me and took care of me. Damn, thinking of that, I got mad at first saying "god damn it alli, why did you have to leave me" then I got sad and thought, man I miss my alli-bear. Bleh..the pain continues in my knees, but my heart is still carved up in pieces, that my friends hurts the most.

[Papillon]

COME ON GUYS, ONLY TEN MORE POSTS !

 

 

Wooooohoooooooooo!

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

I like the drinking on MSN idea. Im drinking right now. Cant sleep, miss my ex, home alone, ****ty feeling. Oh well what can we do. I will post in a little bit. Take Care.....................Kodiak

[djones]

hey kodiak

 

I am up now.....I cant sleep as well....lets break this *****er to 500!!! I miss my ex too right now

[djones]

Hey nick14 get you a$$ in here too I did not know you were on line....Mj is online too

 

as for you I miss the compassion that she gave me too...i dont know how to replace that when you are alone..it sucks man

[Nick14]

ya, damn I miss my ex alot, I miss my snuggly alli-bear, god damn it I wish MJ lived near me, haha maybe she might replace her .

[djones]

Yeah,

 

I dont knw why we are in this position we cant all be bad for them to leave us??

here is a song for you MJ108

 

I know you broke up with him

And your heart's still on the shelf

It's been over two years for me

And I'm still not quite myself

You can't be with someone new

And you can't go back to him

You're beginning to realize

That it's sink or swim

 

I see you around sometimes

And my heart just melts

You're lookin' like if you had your wish

You'd be somewhere else

And it just breaks my heart

To see you here this way

Someday I'll get the nerve

To walk up to you and say

 

This is the last worthless evening

That you'll have to spend

Just gimme a chance

To show you how to love again

This is the last worthless evening

That you'll have to spend

'Cause I'll be there

When your broken heart is on the mend

 

Every night it's the same old crowd

in smokey rooms

You catch a faint glimpse of love sometimes

But it never blooms

I've been around this block a time or two

And I've made some big mistakes

But girl I promise you, I promise you

 

This is the last worthless evening

That you'll have to spend

Just gimme a chance

To show you how to love again

This is the last worthless evening

that you'll have to spend

'Cause it won't be long

'Till your little heart is on the mend

 

People inside their houses

with the shades pulled down

 

God knows, we could use some romance

in this sleepy bedroom town

I know you're still afraid to rush into anything

But there're just so many summers

And just so many springs

 

And this is the last worthless evening

That you'll have to spend, baby

Just gimme a chance, gimme a chance

To show you love again

This is the last worthless evening

That you'll have to spend 'cause it won't be long

'Til your little heart is on the mend

 

That you'll have to spend

Just gimme a chance to show you how

to love again

This is the last worthless evening

That you'll have to spend 'cause it won't be long

'Til your little heart is on the mend

 

by don henley

[Nick14]

man Don henly rocks!

[djones]

I am listening to him right now....newyork minute....I know it has a bad rap with you guys b/c of 911 ....but i think its a beautiful song still