If its meant to be they will come back to you.

[mj108]

Nick14---I'm sorry you're going through this. 2 1/2 years for me too. Him and I haven't talked in over 2 weeks & boy do I want to call him! When I was on my 2 week drunk---I called my ex, but when he picked up---I hung up but just hearing his voice made me weak again. We all tend to let our emotions out a little more (especially, when we drink). Don't beat yourself up over it...what's done is done & you just need to start over...with NC. Go out & have fun!

 

Jip---I really like your attitude girl! You're right---everyone has told me that she wanted him back for the money/security. She treats him like crap & everyone says she doesn't love him...she's using him. Well, he used me & I guess he's getting what he deserves now. Don't worry---that 17 year old girl will get bored with him & then he'll start knocking on your door.

 

Also: DANGER DANGER: I might have a few drinks too. ha

 

Also wanted to let you guys know...I've told you all I had private no.s coming up on my work & cell phone. Well, he just drove by my house so now I'm beginning to think he's having problems with ole girl & wondering what I'm doing now. I hope I can be strong. Thinking about leaving the house for awhile. I hope I don't bump into him.

[Hurt]

Good move! I did it too and there is no way I can get ahold of her, I also blocked her email! I would have 4 drinks and then email these dying notes that she never responded to, you can now be a bit more free!

[Nick14]

Ya, really, I know guys. Its like I have to start doing this, if i keep on doing this, then how am I ever going to meet anyone and if I did they be like "wtf is wrong with this guy". But you know, I really don't think she will come back, even after 2 or 3 months of NC, its like the lotto, usually you have a better chance of winning that then have your ex come back. So, I dunno, so basically whatever, I don't expect it now and I'llj ust keep thinking of other things, lots of eye candy around, so who knows really, it is a freaking college town, party fest in a way.

[head/heels]

no.....not the alcolholic type of spirits!!!!!

i mean it is going to get better and then it will get worse and then better....it ebbs and flows like the tides and soon one day you will not be so up and down.....then you will have more up days than down days....

 

I know, i have been living it... it has been 2 months and 1 week since the day and i have dropped (actually taken a leave of absence for 1 year) from Medical School, and have not seen her since 2 days after our breakup and it has been almost 3 weeks since i dropped off everything that she ever gave to me.... I mean everything..-i had to drive 3 hours both ways to drop it on her doorstep...She didnt want any of it back but i didnt want it either so i just left it and she can deal with it....there were thousands of dollars worth of items in there but the most priceless were the letters, cards, bottles of wine/champagne that were drank on special occasion- i.e. our first time intimate (my very first ever! how sad huh? i wasted it on her....i wanted to wait til i was married b/c i wanted my wife to have my ultimate gift..but i thought she was the one and now i kick myself b/c she was not worth it or me- really she wasnt)

 

Anyhow, a day after i dropped it all off and 3 days before i was planning to propose to her, i left her an email saying i forgive her and that i have moved on and am seeing someone else....I told her to be happy and talk to your b/f s about how you are feeling or they will never know and your love will again fade away- just like it was with us...

 

I am talking to some nice young ladies and am not comparing them to her, b/c it is not fair to them since she was too jaded during our relationship (from her first bf, who cheated on her and left her uncapable to give up her heart) to really love me the way i should have been loved.....

 

I am not looking back and we deserve better!!!! If they come back, it is then we should worry about what our options are going to be....Until then, out of mind out of sight.......their loss, not ours!!!!

 

 

here is a song i came across and it is not the best sounding but the lyrics hit home!!!

 

 

MAROON 5

 

"Through With You"

 

Can you see me

Floating above your head

As you lay in bed

Thinking about everything

That you did not do

Cause saying I love you

Has nothing to do with meaning it

 

And I don't trust you

Cause every time you're here

Your intentions are unclear

I spend every hour waiting for a phone call

That I know will never come

I used to think you were the one

Now I'm sick of thinking anything at all

 

You ain't ever coming back to me

That's not how things were supposed to be

You take my hand just to give it back

No other lover has ever done that

 

Do you remember

The way we used to melt

Do you remember how it felt

When I touched you

Oh cause I remember very well

 

And how long has it been

Since someone you let in

Has given what I gave to you

 

And at night when you sleep

Do you dream I would be there

Just for a minute or two do you?

 

You ain't ever coming back to me

That's not how things were supposed to be

You take my hand just to give it back

No other lover has ever done that

 

Heartache heartache I just have so much

A simple love with a complex touch

There is nothing you can say or do

I called to let you know I'm through with you

 

 

I dream of the chance that she calls me wanting me back....i will not even hear it! She is over in my life and has set me back far enough....i spoiled her rotten and she never appreciated me....

 

Could anyone here ever go back with an ex that left you for another and had sexual intercourse with them during the time....and then they ask you to come back....I couldnt do it but could any of you??

 

I dont know if my ex would do this, but then again i never thought she would leave me for someone else since she never was unhappy or sad outwardly during our last months... Ifeel i dont even know the knew woman she is...

 

keep your chins up...you are worth it!

[Nick14]

head/heals- I really dunno man, thats a real good question. Just me thinking of her naked body with another guys, just...well lets just leave it at that. Would I take her back, thats something I would have to way my options on, later on in the future "if" she does want to try again. Right now, all I know is that she won't come back, she is seeing someone else and really I need to do the same, but this time just take my time with it and have alittle fun inbetween. Its hard, trust me I know, I been clingy to her since the breakup for a month, sometimes I go 2 weeks of NC and then somehow go back to square 1 and start all over. Maybe I do need to hook up with someone to get my mind out of the gutter and have her out of my mind, who knows really. To have me take her back even if she had sex with another guy she is seeing, I wouldn't say no, because thats just not really fair in a way. I rather say No, for other various reasons if I feel thats the case, I would never base it just on someone she did. What to do on a friday night, god damn, NOT A DAMN THING, that my friends suck and hopefully I'll get some calls later to go out for another repeat, minus me texting her again, I am so not doing that again!!

[head/heels]

Nick- keep on going , you will find someone who will be worthy of the new you and she will miss out even if she doesnt yet realize it .... go have fun, you only live 1 time!

 

 

here is another song from MAROON 5

it is right after the last song on the CD so i think the guy went thoguh what we have, check it out

 

 

"Not Coming Home"

 

When you refuse me

You confuse me

What makes you think I'll let you in again

Think again my friend

Go on misuse me and abuse me

I'll come out stronger in the end

 

And does it make you sad

To find yourself alone

And does it make you mad

To find that I have grown

I'll bet it hurts so bad

To see the strength that I have shown

 

When you answer the door pick up the phone

You wont find me cause I'm not coming home

 

You do not know how much this hurts me

To say these things that I don't want to say

But have to say them anyway

I would do anything to end your suffering

But you would rather walk away

 

[x2]

And does it make you sad

To find yourself alone

And does it make you mad

To find that I have grown

I'll bet it hurts so bad

To see the strength that I have shown

When you answer the door pick up the phone

You wont find me cause I'm not coming home

 

[x2]

When you answer the door pick up the phone

You wont find me cause I'm not coming home

 

 

 

 

WOW ! he is in the same boat!

[head/heels]

I understand that i should not just give her a second chance becasue of sex with another...but what if it is with the one she left me for ??? that would be pretty tough to take and no matter how much love i have inside of me for her (i still have more than i am willing to admit) I dont think i could ever forgive her to the point where i would say "OK, thanks for leaving me for anohter man and since it didnt work out with you two, lets give it a go...oh and i am fine that you had sex with him and i think it is great!'

 

i guess time will tell since there is no sign of her wanting me back....but i know she will call one day in the future and see what i am up too...she is curious person....but also very shy and stubborn in her ways...So i guess it is a toss up..

 

have the best weekend possible at this juncture

[Nick14]

head/heals- All, ex's call there all curious in one way or another. Just depends on how things work out, mostly alot of them call, right after they get dumped and then they know how we felt when we got dumped. Then they feel bad, go "my last ex was so much better, wtf was I thinking!". Now, i am not saying all women think that but I dunno. It just sucks with my ex because, her life is changing, she's hanging around a friend of hers, who just bounces off guys and could never keep a successfull relationship. Not to mention she is dressing more wild and its just sad, I first met her and she was just a sweet, innocent woman and now she is totally doing a 360 and looks different and acts different. Question is, which guy is really going to deal with her insecurities, alot of guys don't want the hassle with that. I for one can handle it and try to make her comfortable. I for one, I can't really see any guy deal with it, especially guys here, who just want ass in there bed. So, she will learn the hard way and figure it out for herself, I just want her to make the right choices not the stupid ones. If she can find someone better then me, then good on her, but i highly doubt it, not in this city. The next woman who steps in my life, will be one lucky SOB.

[mj108]

Head/heels---I love Maroon 5---cool! I've got to get that CD! Thanks for posting.

 

Nick14---I guess it's you and me buddy sitting at home not doing a damn thing. Let me say this though---if you do go out with a girl & she's all into you---likes you a lot---deeply---don't rebound & break her heart...PLEASE. My ex went back to his ex. She got her a boyfriend & then the boyfriend left...& she tried like heck to get my ex back...& finally she won. It breaks my heart everyday...I just needed him to be honest with me. If I was just a thing---a rebound---he should had told me. I even brought it up to him & he told me I could never be a rebound because the way he feels for me. I don't know. I guess that's why I'm sitting at home & not going out tonight. I had 3 guys wanting to take me out tonight & the 4th one wants me to meet up with him on Sunday to catch a football game. I didn't go out at all tonight...because I don't want to lead them on like my ex led me on. He's in my head/heart/mind/soul & if I go out with them they will think something more...or maybe not? What do you think? I don't know...kinda confused about it all I suppose.

 

Sounds like your ex has gone wild! She's trying to put up an act...pushing her insecurities to the side...thinking that showing some skin will make her happy. You are right...she will learn the hard way. It's ashame that she's ignoring her problem (insecurity) & she's going to party like hell. The girls she's with sounds like she's influencing her...by what you say but she's not twisting her arm, you know? Sounds to me like her 'friend' is a bad influence....and misery always likes company. One day your ex will see this & then she'll be coming back to you. I don't know the whole story but some friends can influence the other person to leave their boyfriend/girlfriend because they are so *****in sad about their own life & they envy the friends life with the great boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

You are right...the next woman in line will be lucky to have you. Always keep that thought...it will make you stronger.

[Nick14]

Its like, you know, she doesn't really have much friends really, just them two. I remember when the breakup happen, she was also discussing it with her friends and what to do about it (since she has never been in a relationship and never dumped anyone)but wow wouldn't you think that, that is a private matter only to be discussed with your significant other, damn not like I am dating her and her 2 friends at the same time, so that got me pretty hot. I found out from someone, she thinks she is a big loser now cause she rarely has friend and now that the breakup happen, she feels like a idiot. I dunno, I sometimes think, maybe I was the biggest mistake in her life, but then again, even before she met me, she never really had friends, so it couldn't be me at all. I never put a stop sign in front of her at all. So, I dunno, did her friends influence? oh of course, they think she should just have the time of her life and live it up. It sucks, you meet a girl, she's so sweet and innocence and now this, I never expected it either at all. I really don't think she will come back or even call, even if its 3 months later. Another thing I figured out was, she has not gone thru what I have gone thru emotionally yet. Reason why is because, look she's already hooking up with another guy a month after the breakup, that should tell you something right there that, a)its going to be a rebound no matter what with this guy and b)once that small story ends with both of them, then she will go thru the emotional motions about me and then she will start to mourn. I dunno, I can see that if she is not dating anyone for a long time, then I can see she went thru it too. Man, lonely night tonight, yeesh....

[mj108]

Yes I think her friends had an influence. I've been through the same thing. I had insecurity issues (I still do at times) & I started hanging out with the wrong crowd. She's seeing her friends saying they are happy being single...blah...blah..blah & she's believing them---for right now. When she wakes up from her foggy haze--then she will realize who cared for her & who was there for her....YOU.

 

I don't blame you for getting mad about her sharing with her friends but I will say honestly...sometimes us women love to talk & chat & sometimes we carry on with our friends. I just hate it she had the conversation with friends that are bad for her.

 

Always remember---whenever someone falls---they'll try to reach out for your hand---be careful they don't pull you down with them. She's hooking up with that other guy---I think for a short time. She's trying to spread her wings & fly. When she's through with her flight...she'll be back calling you. That's when she'll mourn or grieve cause you may be gone by then. Who knows? Never know what can happen between now & then. Just make sure if you reach out your hand---she doesn't pull you down. You are doing the right thing...you're staying strong! Keep it up!

[Nick14]

I dunno, it does kinda hurt she said in that reply to my text (when I was drunk and stupid, I should of not even texted her in the first place) that "This needs to stop Nick, I am seeing someone else". Ugh..it just brings me down sometimes, like she doesn't care and that whatever. Maybe apologizing on the phone via voice mail today wasn't such a hot thing either, I dunno, I guess I am just trying to be nice, when I should be mad as hell at her, for everything ugh.. BTW..did you get my PM MJ?

[backspn]

My ex came over today and I gave her birthday present to her. This is only the 2nd time I have seen her in 7 months. The first time she came over was last month and she stayed for 2 minutes then left. We have been talking alot lately sometimes in excess of 1 hour.....we joke and kid with each other....just like we were never apart. The only difference is that we dont say we love each other anymore....although she probably does. She came over and laid down on my bed and just spread out on it....I was so tempted . We chatted for about 20 minutes then she left to go home for the weekend. We'll see if she calls me tonight. I guess my question is do you think she felt really comfortable being around me so she laid on my bed? She didnt even sit on my bed the last time I saw her. Do you think she wanted me to make a move while she was lying there? I have to admit...I was pretty tempted. Before she left...SHE came and hugged me and we said goodbye. As she was leaving I said "drive safe" and "I'll talk to you tonight?". She said she will try to call tonight. I think it ended on a really good note but Im usually clueless on things of the heart. .

 

p.s.....a little side not...her Dad doesnt approve of her seeing me cause I am 9 yrs older than her. But she still does anyways......so thats why she said "she'll try".

[Nick14]

backspn-she's doing this now, do you know if she just recently broke up with someone? If so, I be cautious and take things slow with her and let magic come back on its own, like don't expect it, AT ALL. If it happens, then theres reasons for that. Thats how I look at things in my own life now, I am never going to hope for things now, I am just going to let it happen and have it surprise me.

[backspn]

No...she hasnt seen anyone in 6 months....a month after she split with me she saw a guy for about a month....it ended badly....but that was 6 months ago.

[mj108]

Backspun---You go boy! Heck yeah she felt comfortable with you if she laid on your bed like that. As far as her wanting you to make the move...not sure....but I know she was comfortable around her surroundings...YOU. Good thing you didn't make that move because let me tell you---if she wanted you...she's thinking right now...wow! WT*****. lol You did good buddy! I think you're going to be like dugs---& she's going to want to be with you in no time.

[Nick14]

Wow, god damn you too, after the breakup, she saw a guy a month later huh, yeesh, deja vu huh. Yikes...how did it end bad for her? Or did she know that was going to be a rebound?

[mj108]

Hey you guys---we're almost at 300 posts. lol Thanks to ole drjones.

[kodiak]

backspn-

 

hey brother although I dont talked to my ex as much as you do, I wish I did, we have the same talks. I hate/love it. We talked for almost a hour or more each time she calls and it is great just like oldtimes. I wsih i could but i never say i love you nor does she obviously. Anyways I will post later tonight before bed im sure. Its been my first day since I decided that i have to let go completely for now. It been a hard one I tell ya...Talk to you all later.................Kodiak

[mj108]

WELCOME BACK KODIAK! KNEW YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE US!!

[backspn]

They dont know if its going to be a rebound....they just go with their feelings. Im beginning to figure things out finally. He broke her heart and it was her first heartbreak.....karma is a bitch...huh? Anyways.....Im gonna let her do all the work now....of course Im gonna be sweet to her but she is going to have show me some stuff before I'll jump back into the fire.....and trust me.....its a 5 alarm fire!! . If you were good to her like no other Nick...then she'll come back to ya....guarantee it.

 

p.s. Kodiak......the way you can tell if she still loves ya without her telling ya? When she hugs ya...if she makes the first move.....she does. She cant tell ya....but she can show ya.

[Nick14]

Well, if she does come back, she's gotta start growing up and start turning things around and cause a damn code blue deal. Anything, less won't be acceptable really. She's grown up with everything else, just how she deals with a relationship and I qoute "I wanted those feelings to come back with in a couple of weeks" ok boys and girls we all know, that it takes a helluva lot longer then that to get some of it back and it takes work and I told myself I am still committed to that.

[djones]

Hey Guys,

 

its 2:26 am here again, I cant sleep, I kodiak knows what I mean....backspn awesome man just take it easy you are not out of the woods yet...i think she is testing the waters for her self to see if wants to get back in, I think let her do it on her out, just be the nice guy I know that you are.....

Kodiak---glad to hear from you,..just take it one day at a time, I going the same thing as you I know how talks are great with her and then you feel alone again when you dont talk to her...I felt that today I wanted to call her but I did not it just kills me to be away from he, send that letter to her...just do it and forget about it....it will help you trust me...I feel better that I told her how I feel, its like I gave her the ball and its totaly up to her, I dont have to do a thing other than heal...let her come back to me if she does she does....only time will tell.....Take care man

[kodiak]

i guess your up too huh drjones?? doesnt this suck, last night i couldnt fall asleep till 3 in the morning. Its been a very hard day. I cried to my mom but i felt better afterwards. My mom feels that I should call her or write her and throw it all out on the line. She said what do I have to loose. maybe she is right, what can I loose. I mean I dont want her to tell me no because she is seeing someone else and is inlove with him. Thats how my mind thinks. I just could not handle that right now. So I just might do it. I might write her or call her and throw it all out there. Maybe she is waiting to see if im waiting around for her or if i still love her. I highly doubt it but who just never know, do you? Well i have to go to bed, i had a few drinks and Im kinda buzzed..lol...I know mj108 knows about that...lol...(kidding mj, you know I love ya). Anyways we got through another day, lets see what tomorrow brings.................Kodiak

[djones]

Kodiak,

 

I agree with your mom, just send her the letter......Kodiak send me a reply to kick off the 400 th post!!!...take care man