In front of the kids!!!

[rc51man2003]

Hello All,

 

Hope your day is going well and I am hoping to get several different opinions on what to do. Long story short my wife cheated on me and now I am having feelings that I don't understand.

 

It all started with this dude she works with and during their "friendship" I asked several time for her to stop talking to him. To which I was told I was being crazy and controlling. I then began to tell her I didn't trust this guy and I told her I felt really uncomfortable with this situation. She would stay for and hour or two after work and it slowly progressed to our kinda separation.

 

There are several things that are really holding me back from moving forward and these are what I need help with. The first thing is that I caught her from the beginning and I mean the beginning, I just felt something was wrong and come to find out she started talking to this guy a few days prior. A little after this I caught her sending flirty texts, she said it was wrong and she would stop, it didn't. Well their relationship continued with me believing her and blindly putting faith back in her. Well I still could feel that something was wrong and checked her facebook and there it was searches emails you name it, but nothing proving any sex or anything that big. The trouble some part is that it was like she was determined to have an affair with this guy even after it was in the open.

 

After about a month separation we decided to get back together and she was still kinda talking to the guy at work and looking at his profile on facebook which really bothered me. So one day I told her that I just needed the truth because I was having all these crazy dreams about terrible things. She comes mostly clean I believe and admits that she had sex with this guy twice, and made out with him a couple times, but that she would hang out at his house while his wife was at work everyday they could which resulted in about 16-24 hours a week. But the kicker is that my two daughter were there (3 and 1) and in fact my older daughter is the one that told me she saw mommy kissing this guy. My wife later admits that one of the times they were intimate at his house they put on a movie for the kids and went and had sex and the second time was at our house and his daughter was there.

 

So please give your opinion on these questions!

 

1. I don't know how to forgive her for bringing my kids around during her affair.

 

2. She did everything that I like to do with him so now I am constantly reminded of what happened. For example I always had a pizza/movie night with my daughters and we always got it from a specific place. She did that exact thing with this guy along with other things very personal and sentimental to me.

 

3. When we first got back together I was really focused on making it work and how much I loved her. However, now I am growing cold and distant and inside I am not happy I don't want to break up my family, but I don't want to live in sadness. I want to love someone and trust them fully.

 

My first wife cheated on me while I was deployed and I begged my current wife to never cheat. I told her she could do whatever she wanted and I didn't care. She would go to mexico, vegas concerts with friends even with male friends you name it and I didn't care. I asked one thing of her and she couldn't even give that to me. What do I do?

[Radu]

You find undeniable proof that she did this while your kids were around, and i mean undeniable proof, stuff that can stand up in court.

You go and talk to a lawyer, get all your evidence of this affair in order and file for Divorce. This and the above is done without telling the wife and not letting her know you are doing it.

See if you can go after the guy for alienation of affection, that should put a major damper on his life.

You notify the guy's wife, your wife's family and your own family about getting a divorce because she cheated. You hold back on how she cheated for now.

No begging, no pleading, no nothing ... when she is served with papers, you go forward with it. If you are a dick you serve her with papers at her office [some guy on LS did it]

You look up the 180, and implement it.

 

You can always stop the D proceedings, but only after she commits to the reconcilliation [MC and IC to find out why she did this], stops blaming things for how it went, and helps you in throwing poo at the OM.

Even after that it will take you 2-5yrs to forgive, and you will never forget.

If you make more, i would also suggest you ask for a post-nup in your marriage.

Basically her privileges have been revoked, and only if she plays nice and proves herself they are reinstated, only after you end up trusting her again.

 

PS: It is invariable that she will end up playing the hurt-mommy angle with 3 angel girls in court.

The fact that she did this with your kids present is a major hit against her, and it will seriously impact the way a judge will see her.

So, i recommend that you have proof of this, because in a court of law she will lie her ass off about it.

I would also cite infidelity if you can prove it in the court of law; women tend to care more than men about how they are seen, and subpoenas being served to her and him and their place of business would really shatter the affair fog.

If she has lawyers in her family, ask for half an hour audience with them [paid with a receipt]. This way they can't represent her.

[Darth Vader]

Hello All,

 

Hope your day is going well and I am hoping to get several different opinions on what to do. Long story short my wife cheated on me and now I am having feelings that I don't understand.

 

It all started with this dude she works with and during their "friendship" I asked several time for her to stop talking to him. To which I was told I was being crazy and controlling. I then began to tell her I didn't trust this guy and I told her I felt really uncomfortable with this situation. She would stay for and hour or two after work and it slowly progressed to our kinda separation.

 

There are several things that are really holding me back from moving forward and these are what I need help with. The first thing is that I caught her from the beginning and I mean the beginning, I just felt something was wrong and come to find out she started talking to this guy a few days prior. A little after this I caught her sending flirty texts, she said it was wrong and she would stop, it didn't. Well their relationship continued with me believing her and blindly putting faith back in her. Well I still could feel that something was wrong and checked her facebook and there it was searches emails you name it, but nothing proving any sex or anything that big. The trouble some part is that it was like she was determined to have an affair with this guy even after it was in the open.

 

After about a month separation we decided to get back together and she was still kinda talking to the guy at work and looking at his profile on facebook which really bothered me. So one day I told her that I just needed the truth because I was having all these crazy dreams about terrible things. She comes mostly clean I believe and admits that she had sex with this guy twice, and made out with him a couple times, but that she would hang out at his house while his wife was at work everyday they could which resulted in about 16-24 hours a week. But the kicker is that my two daughter were there (3 and 1) and in fact my older daughter is the one that told me she saw mommy kissing this guy. My wife later admits that one of the times they were intimate at his house they put on a movie for the kids and went and had sex and the second time was at our house and his daughter was there.

 

So please give your opinion on these questions!

 

1. I don't know how to forgive her for bringing my kids around during her affair.

 

2. She did everything that I like to do with him so now I am constantly reminded of what happened. For example I always had a pizza/movie night with my daughters and we always got it from a specific place. She did that exact thing with this guy along with other things very personal and sentimental to me.

 

3. When we first got back together I was really focused on making it work and how much I loved her. However, now I am growing cold and distant and inside I am not happy I don't want to break up my family, but I don't want to live in sadness. I want to love someone and trust them fully.

 

My first wife cheated on me while I was deployed and I begged my current wife to never cheat. I told her she could do whatever she wanted and I didn't care. She would go to mexico, vegas concerts with friends even with male friends you name it and I didn't care. I asked one thing of her and she couldn't even give that to me. What do I do?

 

 

DROP HER ASS! THAT'S THE ANSWER!

 

Well, she did all of this to spite you, so now Divorce the BITCH and get custody of your girls! You're right, she was Hell and possessed to screw this guy from the beginning and exposed your daughters to this POS and the affair which one or both will remember, now be Hell and possessed to Divorce her!

[Darth Vader]

You find undeniable proof that she did this while your kids were around, and i mean undeniable proof, stuff that can stand up in court.

You go and talk to a lawyer, get all your evidence of this affair in order and file for Divorce. This and the above is done without telling the wife and not letting her know you are doing it.

See if you can go after the guy for alienation of affection, that should put a major damper on his life.

You notify the guy's wife, your wife's family and your own family about getting a divorce because she cheated. You hold back on how she cheated for now.

No begging, no pleading, no nothing ... when she is served with papers, you go forward with it. If you are a dick you serve her with papers at her office [some guy on LS did it]

You look up the 180, and implement it.

 

You can always stop the D proceedings, but only after she commits to the reconcilliation [MC and IC to find out why she did this], stops blaming things for how it went, and helps you in throwing poo at the OM.

Even after that it will take you 2-5yrs to forgive, and you will never forget.

If you make more, i would also suggest you ask for a post-nup in your marriage.

Basically her privileges have been revoked, and only if she plays nice and proves herself they are reinstated, only after you end up trusting her again.

 

PS: It is invariable that she will end up playing the hurt-mommy angle with 3 angel girls in court.

The fact that she did this with your kids present is a major hit against her, and it will seriously impact the way a judge will see her.

So, i recommend that you have proof of this, because in a court of law she will lie her ass off about it.

I would also cite infidelity if you can prove it in the court of law; women tend to care more than men about how they are seen, and subpoenas being served to her and him and their place of business would really shatter the affair fog.

If she has lawyers in her family, ask for half an hour audience with them [paid with a receipt]. This way they can't represent her.

 

 

I agree with everything EXCEPT with getting back with this woman (if you want to call her that!) She has to face extremely HARD Consequences for her actions as well as her OM!

[Yasuandio]

While you doing your legal work, act all nice nice for awhile. Pretend to be a sap. Set up a few nanny cams, hopefully, she will give another performance.

[Tiberius]

She is one of those girls who only respects men whom take respect. If you are not into abusing women emotionally or physically, you should look for somebody else.

[2sunny]

What do you do?

 

You divorce her! You tell the OM's wife and expose her to family for the tramp she's been.

 

You didn't break up the family - SHE did! She did it with her actions.