loverestored Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 (edited) Hey everyone, I wanted to thank you all so much for reading this. This is somewhat of a long story but I am going to keep it short. I met this guy named Mark in October. We hit it off very well. We would drink together and snuggle and cuddle and talk about anything and everything under the sun. Religion, politics, exes, friends, family, childhood, trends...you name it. We talked about it. We acted like kids! We were always hanging out. In fact, a week after hanging out, we went to the local university where they were holding an election party. We both were Democrats and when it was announced that Obama won the Election, he picked me up and we both screamed. We would hang out all the time. Text and talk everyday. He would ask me to hang out during study breaks or just come over for some games and get togethers. We both speak Hindi so we could sing songs together which made it seem so much more special. It was very unique. We held hands and cuddled even in front of our friends. My friends and roommates thought for sure there was something. Some of our mutual friends who knew him told me he was a GREAT guy! No one had anything bad to say about him which is rare these days. We kept hanging out once or twice and things seemed to be getting better between us until December. You get the jist of it. I found out something about him liking another girl named Erika. I asked him about it and he said he was planning on asking her out but didn't know how to tell me. He then asked if we could meet up and talk about it. I went and he basically told me "I feel like a dbag and like I lead you but...we are just drinking buddies." I cut off all contact. What else was I to do? Even deactivated Facebook to just stay away from people. He didn't text me after that nor me to him. It was so hard. Someone who meant so much to you and suddenly they are gone. We used to talk everyday. On New Years, he sent a mass text to everyone to which I replied nicely. A couple days later (start of Jan), he (possibly drunk) texts me at 4 am asking me if I deleted him from fb. I tell him it was deactivated. He asked if I was okay and tried to talk to me. But I just gave him one word to the point answers and I am sure he got the hint. Eventually, I had to reactivate Facebook for my Social Media Marketing class. He comments on mutual friends pictures and statuses when I do (minutes later). Like a FB chase hoping I see his name come up in the notifications. He is talking to my mutual friends still and one night, I made a status about missing someone (it hinted I missed him as more than just a friend) and he liked it. The next day after posting this status, a mutual friend called and said Mark asked how I was and if they could come over. I was not home but my roommates said he came over and just left a half hour later. I did not see him. So last week (start of Feb), I got another drunk text from him saying that he was tipsy but he was checking into see if me and him were cool or if I was still holding a grudge. I personally found the wording puzzling (grudge...) but wrote back NICELY and mature that I was well and I hoped all is well with him. He just wrote back that he didn't remember sending me that text but thanked me. Saw him at a friends place that night and it was awkward. We gave each other a weird hug and then he avoided me and our mutual friends. Anyways I found out he ended up asking Erika out. She said "yes" but he ended it a week into it. I do not know why though. His last relationship was 2 years so it is not like he has commitment issues. So what does it seem like here? My mind is running through with possibilities! Why is he trying to contact me again? (Personally I know it cannot be for sexual reasons even knowing I like him or wanting a friend with benefits because he KNOWS he won't get any from me.) Think he just misses me and our friendship? Is that it? Or maybe after I just stopped talking to him and deactivated Facebook, maybe he realized there were feelings there? But since he thought the chances with me were gone since I asked about this, he asked the other girl out but realized that her and him weren't as compatible? Or just feels guilty? I feel like he is trying to do a lot for someone he knew for 2-3 months and was just a "drinking buddy." Either way, seems like there is something he wants to hold on too. Friendship...or more? Thanks everyone. Edited February 10, 2013 by loverestored
Author loverestored Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 I really hate to be the one to bump my own thread but it seems to have gone to the second page without a response.. Maybe because I posted it so late at night. Damn late night pondering! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!! Thank you!
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I'm not sure if he was being friendly(albeit too much), and accidently lead you on or not. He shouldn't make like he wants you, I.e. cuddle, etc. It sounds like he wants to remain friends and hopes you aren't angry towards him. However, do not let him get too close again, as to mislead you. Or if you happen to notice a trend: He befriends you again. Things look well on both ends. Then he sidelines you for another girl: then you know he's using you until he meets someone. Sorry, LS iis slow on the weekends. 1
Author loverestored Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 I'm not sure if he was being friendly(albeit too much), and accidently lead you on or not. He shouldn't make like he wants you, I.e. cuddle, etc. It sounds like he wants to remain friends and hopes you aren't angry towards him. However, do not let him get too close again, as to mislead you. Or if you happen to notice a trend: He befriends you again. Things look well on both ends. Then he sidelines you for another girl: then you know he's using you until he meets someone. Sorry, LS iis slow on the weekends. Thank you for your response. I honestly can't imagine someone being that friendly. Holding hands with you, spooning, cuddling and laying snuggled up in bed multiple times just talking and talking and talking. I never do that with guy friends. And my guy friends say they dont do that with their girl friends either. I can't picture myself doing that. He even spent his bday with me. He wants to remain friends. But then why like a status that clearly indicated that I missed him as more than just friends? Isn't that leading on? And I know for a fact that if me and him are friends again, we won't be doing that stuff. Nor do I think he would initiate it. He knows better. I guess I can't help but wonder if he got caught up between the two of us but then because I confronted him, he thought the only option he had was Erika. Thanks again
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Well, it is misleading. However, you must always do what's in your best interest. If that means no friendship, no friendship. If you feel as though it's alright to be friends, go that route. But put him in his place He did mislead you.
Author loverestored Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Well, it is misleading. However, you must always do what's in your best interest. If that means no friendship, no friendship. If you feel as though it's alright to be friends, go that route. But put him in his place He did mislead you. Thanks for the clarification. Yeah, he did lead me on. I got that. But I guess what I wanna know at this point is what's more than likely going on at his end? I feel like if it was just him missing me as a friend, he'd let it go and not just text me when he's drunk. (Liquid courage anyone?) But I feel like if he had feelings for me or made the realization, he'd more open and just tell me. Arent guys just blunt? Usually?
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