Necris Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Girls have just been a natural thing in my life and within my circle of friends... sex and relationships are part of life, same for my sister, same for my parents, same for most of the people I know... I have 1 friend who struggles with dating, when I think about it, dating seems like a thing which is "outside" of his life, and trying hard to pull it into his life is the reason for his failure... where as with the vast majority of people I know, including myself... dating is just a free-flowing natural part of life... It doesn't need to be chased because it's already there, but for some people it's not, so they chase but struggle to catch.. It's hard to explain, and I can't seem to understand the issue any better than I tried to explain in my OP. I would say I'm most realistically attracted to and had most experience with 6's 7's 8's, if we're putting numbers on them... I've had experiences with 9's 10's (in my opinion) and my confidence doesn't extend far enough for those model-worthy girls, it feels like high maintenance emotionally... I take good care of my appearance, both fitness, staying well groomed and stylishly dressed, and I've always been told I'm kind of a hot guy, but I consider myself no where near worthy of being a male model.. I look nothing like the manufactured guys you see modelling designer clothes.. but if I can comfortably date "6's, 7's, 8's"... the idea that a guy needs to be super hot to date "4's and 5's" is nonsense.. at least in my world. So.... basically it just comes naturally for some people and other people it doesn't.
RogerWallace111 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 So.... basically it just comes naturally for some people and other people it doesn't. It comes naturally for all in the beginning. We're all just animals. Some just develop mental blocks, insecurities and issues...
Necris Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 It comes naturally for all in the beginning. We're all just animals. Some just develop mental blocks, insecurities and issues... Don't ever remember a time in my life where this came naturally. For me even as a child making friends never even came naturally. Good thread, son ! Lotsa truth for 21 years... So many of the guys on here seriously delude themselves. I don't disbelieve that they're unsuccessful with women, but the way they either place the blame on them or decide there's something fundamentally wrong with themselves is just f*ckin nutty... If you were always rejected literally 100% of the time wouldn't you begin to think something is wrong with you? Or that perhaps you just weren't meant to date, have sex, or get in relationships?
Author its a lifestyle Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Or that perhaps you just weren't meant to date, have sex, or get in relationships? It's funny because take away what society teaches on how to live and the purpose of life etc etc... you'll see that having sex is basically the one and only reason we're even here, alive on planet earth... to multiply it just so happens that we were blessed with the ability to socialize and can experience fun while multiplying Man I need some sleep
kaylan Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Oh gimme a break OP. Getting sex isnt as easy as you try and make it sound. Its not hard, but it aint as easy as you put it. I can say I live (or have lived) by almost every single point you laid out...and puzzy isnt hanging my door down lmao
Author its a lifestyle Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Oh gimme a break OP. Getting sex isnt as easy as you try and make it sound. Its not hard, but it aint as easy as you put it. I can say I live (or have lived) by almost every single point you laid out...and puzzy isnt hanging my door down lmao Come and visit me in England, I'll hook you up with my friend Heidi... she WILL have sex with you. (with the underlined being true).
kaylan Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Come and visit me in England, I'll hook you up with my friend Heidi... she WILL have sex with you. (with the underlined being true). Um no thanks. I dont need a pimp. 2
danny in van Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I know who you're directing it at.....and I'm saying that these guys don't actually approach women. They spend too much time on the internet reading useless nonsense when they should be approaching and seeing what happens. ya and they don't try due to all the rejection they faced. So they say 'who cares' or 'I don't want a gf' and we all know guys like this and know it's BS. So he's addressing them particularly...IE don't give up and become the lonely guy living in a van by the river. Of course you have to try, that's a given- but before you try again with the same bad game that got u nowhere, you better re strategize or get same results. So yes work out HARDER, and eat and dress better than all the other dudes, and then you'll have a leg up and have some confidence etc... It's simple - not ez - but simple.
pbjbear Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I enjoy posts where men describe women in terms of numbers on 1-10 how hot they are..."I can get a 7's daily" tell ya, Im not missing out being single. A lot of men today are so ****ing shallow and superficial. If I was dating a guy and found out he viewed women that way Id ditch him in a heartbeat Overly confident, pimped out PUA artists= not for me
danny in van Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 I enjoy posts where men describe women in terms of numbers on 1-10 how hot they are..."I can get a 7's daily" tell ya, Im not missing out being single. A lot of men today are so ****ing shallow and superficial. If I was dating a guy and found out he viewed women that way Id ditch him in a heartbeat Overly confident, pimped out PUA artists= not for me those guys have always existed. Agreed, that people - guys and girls- can be too confident and it's a huge turnoff. I think they find their over confident (or insecure) equivalent and then have a strange relationship together.
pbjbear Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 those guys have always existed. Agreed, that people - guys and girls- can be too confident and it's a huge turnoff. I think they find their over confident (or insecure) equivalent and then have a strange relationship together. Most guys view women as commodities and trophies to be attained and they value more whats on the outside than whats on the inside. There is an epidemic today of men who think they deserve a woman hotter than them and men today have become more entitled and disrespectful than ever. My uncles and grandfathers are astounded by some of the ways me and my female cousins have been treated by men our age. I think men today are regressing backwards in terms of evolving. This is why Im single by choice...very few good quality men left today who view me as a human being first. I can tell which ones go for me mainly because of my looks and its over 75% of men that hit on me.
Geiss Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Most guys view women as commodities and trophies to be attained and they value more whats on the outside than whats on the inside. There is an epidemic today of men who think they deserve a woman hotter than them and men today have become more entitled and disrespectful than ever. My uncles and grandfathers are astounded by some of the ways me and my female cousins have been treated by men our age. I think men today are regressing backwards in terms of evolving. This is why Im single by choice...very few good quality men left today who view me as a human being first. I can tell which ones go for me mainly because of my looks and its over 75% of men that hit on me. So are you telling me that you date the beta males, the nice guys that finish last? I bet not. I'm making an assumption here but I have a feeling you date the bad boys. That are going to treat you like ****. If you don't want to be treated like that then go for the nice guy. Men are being told that they have to be *******s to get the women. Because a lot of women are so messed up that they prefer the bad boys and they reject the good guys. Then when they sleep around and rack up high numbers, when the fun is over they go for the beta male. But then the beta male might not be so interested. Women have only themselves to blame. You date a nice guy, you won't have these problems. You do however seem quite bitter and conceded as well. Get over yourself girl. Come back to earth.
pbjbear Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 So are you telling me that you date the beta males, the nice guys that finish last? I bet not. I'm making an assumption here but I have a feeling you date the bad boys. That are going to treat you like ****. If you don't want to be treated like that then go for the nice guy. Men are being told that they have to be *******s to get the women. Because a lot of women are so messed up that they prefer the bad boys and they reject the good guys. Then when they sleep around and rack up high numbers, when the fun is over they go for the beta male. But then the beta male might not be so interested. Women have only themselves to blame. You date a nice guy, you won't have these problems. You do however seem quite bitter and conceded as well. Get over yourself girl. Come back to earth. Nope. I turn away well known players and womanizers. I dated a few in college but who doesnt? I learned. I actually prefer nerdy men because I have some nerdy interests. I dont like the terms alpha and beta. Most dont fall neatly into those boxes. Many nerdy, non-gym, shyer guys are selfish and not nice too. It may take longer to find out, I find they just string you along more than the typical super-masculine men
e40 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Many nerdy, non-gym, shyer guys are selfish and not nice too. It may take longer to find out, I find they just string you along more than the typical super-masculine men Honest question. Do you assume they are stringing you along?
pbjbear Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Honest question. Do you assume they are stringing you along? No. Im a pretty honest person, I flat out ask them before I stop seeing them. Watching them trying to rationalize their behavior while keeping me around is pretty amusing though. Guys say they want an honest woman but they dont mean it...because honest women wont pretend to not see through your bull****
e40 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 No. Im a pretty honest person, I flat out ask them before I stop seeing them. Watching them trying to rationalize their behavior while keeping me around is pretty amusing though. Guys say they want an honest woman but they dont mean it...because honest women wont pretend to not see through your bull**** Some guys do this. Some don't do this. Being able to find a good decent partner can be insanely difficult for both men and women. Those who play fair so often get muscled out by those that don't play fair.
normal person Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Some guys do this. Some don't do this. Being able to find a good decent partner can be insanely difficult for both men and women. Those who play fair so often get muscled out by those that don't play fair. The people who play fair will eventually find each other. (I hope).
danny in van Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Nope. I turn away well known players and womanizers. I dated a few in college but who doesnt? I learned. I actually prefer nerdy men because I have some nerdy interests. I dont like the terms alpha and beta. Most dont fall neatly into those boxes. Many nerdy, non-gym, shyer guys are selfish and not nice too. It may take longer to find out, I find they just string you along more than the typical super-masculine men just what I've been saying for a while: so called 'Alphas' are labelled as as#$%s and 'betas' are 'nice guys' haha! So simplistic. Nice try- and obviously a rumour mill started by betas cuz they're bitter they get the scraps (or no scraps)the alphas are done with. Or if women call the playboy names it 's cuz he won't stick only with her- but that doesn't make someone 'bad' - he just has different plans than she does. Now if a guy lies etc to get a girl, then i agree he's 'bad'- but usually it's gonna be the guy in a drought (beat that is) who has to lie and put on a false front.
pbjbear Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 just what I've been saying for a while: so called 'Alphas' are labelled as as#$%s and 'betas' are 'nice guys' haha! So simplistic. Nice try- and obviously a rumour mill started by betas cuz they're bitter they get the scraps (or no scraps)the alphas are done with. Or if women call the playboy names it 's cuz he won't stick only with her- but that doesn't make someone 'bad' - he just has different plans than she does. Now if a guy lies etc to get a girl, then i agree he's 'bad'- but usually it's gonna be the guy in a drought (beat that is) who has to lie and put on a false front. Stringing someone along when you know they like you more than you like them IS bad. They knew I was looking for a relationship not a **** BUDDY. Im not all talk, I dont do that to men. If I am not feeling a guy, I let him go. Its this thing called decency, ya know? There are few decent honest guys left it seems. You sound like the kind of guy with ulterior motives who lies to women and manipulates them to get what he wants...yeah, Im not into that sort of thing You obviously didnt read my post...the typical "beta guys" acted BAD towards me. It depends on how you define alpha and beta and everyone defines them differently. But the typical "alpha" guy based on common definitions I figured out quicker than the beta guys who screwed me over
e40 Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 The people who play fair will eventually find each other. (I hope). Hope springs eternal.
danny in van Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Stringing someone along when you know they like you more than you like them IS bad. They knew I was looking for a relationship not a **** BUDDY. Im not all talk, I dont do that to men. If I am not feeling a guy, I let him go. Its this thing called decency, ya know? There are few decent honest guys left it seems. You sound like the kind of guy with ulterior motives who lies to women and manipulates them to get what he wants...yeah, Im not into that sort of thing You obviously didnt read my post...the typical "beta guys" acted BAD towards me. It depends on how you define alpha and beta and everyone defines them differently. But the typical "alpha" guy based on common definitions I figured out quicker than the beta guys who screwed me over In my post that you either didn't finish or comprehend, I wrote I agree that lying is a bad trait. But yet you assume I'm a liar. Based on what btw? A 'hunch'? Dunno what else you could base it on...and if so keep hunches to yourself pls...stick to what's written. Now if I want to see a girl again, but I am not looking for a wife, then I'm stringing her along? Let's say I'm not, but most women are looking for long term commitment- then I should not ask her out this wkend? She is an adult -and can say yes or no right? No lying involved- the diff between me and a lot of girls is I just don't look far into the future re: "love you til the day I die" fairy tale/ church slogan kinda stuff.
ltjg45 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 In my post that you either didn't finish or comprehend, I wrote I agree that lying is a bad trait. But yet you assume I'm a liar. Based on what btw? A 'hunch'? Dunno what else you could base it on...and if so keep hunches to yourself pls...stick to what's written. Now if I want to see a girl again, but I am not looking for a wife, then I'm stringing her along? Let's say I'm not, but most women are looking for long term commitment- then I should not ask her out this wkend? She is an adult -and can say yes or no right? No lying involved- the diff between me and a lot of girls is I just don't look far into the future re: "love you til the day I die" fairy tale/ church slogan kinda stuff. Then you should tell her that all you want is sex if she wants an actual relationship. So, yes, it is partly your fault. You give off these vibes that you are willing to enter a relationship and then do otherwise. If you was upfront and said that I only want to screw you, this wouldn't have happen in such a degree.
danny in van Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Then you should tell her that all you want is sex if she wants an actual relationship. So, yes, it is partly your fault. You give off these vibes that you are willing to enter a relationship and then do otherwise. If you was upfront and said that I only want to screw you, this wouldn't have happen in such a degree. ahh another with comprehension issues. When did I say I only wanna screw someone??. Remember to leave ur strange hunches at the door- stick to written word- it's all we have here online. I want companionship, and like being around attractive girls. Quite common really. If u buy a home do you say - I will live here to the day I die- I promise! Do u know the `til death do us part`is a church slogan? I'm not religious, so why would I repeat the same slogan? Some girls are ok to proceed gradually too...some don't want to get married, some do. So I should stop seeing a girl on the assumption that she wants to get married and sign a contract? As I already said, adults should be responsible for their own plans. If she asks me 'do u want monogamy or marriage or this or that?'- I will and have answer honestly. Always have cuz I'm not in a drought and haven't been in ages. Now guys in droughts you better watch out for - they'll say almost anything.!!
ltjg45 Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 ahh another with comprehension issues. When did I say I only wanna screw someone??. Remember to leave ur strange hunches at the door- stick to written word- it's all we have here online. I want companionship, and like being around attractive girls. Quite common really. If u buy a home do you say - I will live here to the day I die- I promise! Do u know the `til death do us part`is a church slogan? I'm not religious, so why would I repeat the same slogan? Some girls are ok to proceed gradually too...some don't want to get married, some do. So I should stop seeing a girl on the assumption that she wants to get married and sign a contract? As I already said, adults should be responsible for their own plans. If she asks me 'do u want monogamy or marriage or this or that?'- I will and have answer honestly. Always have cuz I'm not in a drought and haven't been in ages. Now guys in droughts you better watch out for - they'll say almost anything.!! I certainly hope so that you are making it your permanent residence if you are willing to buy a home. Either that or you are a multi-millionaire. While I don't go to church (and I most likely never will since I will sleep through it), I don't believe in divorce at all. If I get married, I'm expected to stick with said marriage regardless of what happens from here or not. If I get burned because of it, that's my fault and I should accept the consequences of my actions. As for casual sex, if I figure that a female is giving off vibes about a serious relationship and I'm not interested in that, I nip it in the buds by telling her that on the spot. Fortunately, I don't have to worry about that because that will be told not long after we meet for the 1st time. I got no tolerance for drama, even if that means I lose out on sex. I know how emotional women can be.
Drseussgrrl Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 (edited) Frankly I think women need to take more responsibility here. Let's be honest, most dudes are not going to tell you right up front that they aren't looking for a relationship. Besides - most relationships evolve after some time has been spent together and things are going well. Not a definitive "what is this" conversation on date #2. Unless he DOES tell you this - then if you are looking for one - well then you better run for the hills. In my experience men tell you all you need to know with their actions. Is he taking you on real dates? Asking things to get to know you as a person? Do you find that you're anxious about when he'll be in touch again? Is he trying to see you late-night or last-minute? Are a lot of topics sexually charged? I mean come on ladies pay attention. It's not that hard. Relationship-minded men, when they do show up, are pretty obvious. At least it has been in my experience. You just know. The others are usually flaky, inconsistent, want to just "hang out" a lot, conversations are usually surface-y, etc. So my rule is - do nothing. It's simple. Watch his actions over the course of a few months. If it's not meeting up to your standards or what you really want, no amount of trying to "convince" a dude is going to get you what you want. Just walk. Don't whine and moan that he doesn't call you enough or take you out. Men will always do what they want, if they feel like it. IT'S SO EASY. This article really drove a lot of these points home for me. The Most Important Dating Advice You?ll Ever Hear ? Don?t Do Anything | Evan Marc Katz Blog - Dating Coach Edited February 13, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator had to remove commercial URL but left the title so google can be used
Recommended Posts