Seibs Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 (edited) Hey everyone, this might be a little long but hopefully I'll be able to get some good advice from you guys! My apologies in advance. I've been really frustrated for a while now with how things are going with women for me. I'd like to be able to end up in a relationship or at least something a little more serious than where I'm at right now, which is with nothing on the horizon. Anyways, there isn't anyone specifically on my mind right now, but any time in the recent past when there might have been someone I've managed to squander the opportunity or just sat idly by and let it slip. I'm just looking for some advice on how I can try to capitalize on something like this in the future. I've stewed on this for a long time and I know what's wrong but it's hard for me to fix by myself, I never get anywhere. Here's what I've come up with: - I wouldn't say that I'm scared to approach someone, but at the same time I feel like I kind of am. I think I've got a pretty bad fear of rejection and failure and it really just messes with me to the point that I just end up avoiding the whole situation. I manage to convince myself that the girl isn't interested and that it's not even worth my time to try and pursue - I have a hard time conveying that I don't just want to be friends. I think this builds on the fear of rejection/failure. If I try and initiate something more then I might get shut down and embarrassed in front of everyone - I lack confidence, but honestly I don't think I should... I think I'm a decent looking guy, smart and outgoing but that definitely doesn't come out when I want it to. - I find it hard to tell if/when a girl is interested in me. Like I said before I constantly manage to convince myself that a girl isn't interested, but maybe I'm interpreting things incorrectly, or just not giving myself enough credit. I don't know, but I think it would be a lot easier for me if I knew where I was at (the same holds true for everyone probably) and it's just so easy to convince myself that I'm going to get embarrassed in the end You've probably got the gist of what I'm trying to say. I'm not really socially awkward at all, but the whole dating and approaching a girl thing just doesn't come easy to me... So, I ask you is there anything I can do to help mitigate this? I realize I'm asking very general stuff, but I kind of just need general help... I'm appreciative of any help you guys can give! EDIT: I would post this in the improvement section, but I feel like it's not mainly an issue of improvement. I'm looking for advice on how to initiate things keeping in mind the problems that I mentioned. Just looking to find better ways to approach someone and convey what my intent is. If this is the wrong section do let me know and I'll try to have it moved. Edited February 10, 2013 by Seibs
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