WiseOwl Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I live in a loveless, sexless marriage and am trapped for now due to financial constraints. My husband and I don't fight but he has cheated on me for over half of our 20 year marriage and I am deeply resentful. Although I wish my husband no harm, I have no respect for him at all and I long for the day when my kids are grown and I can get a divorce. Unfortunately, that is about 7 years away. My very first love was back in 1980 and he was a wonderful person. We dated exclusively for six years and ended up growing apart. I was five years younger than him and at 15 years old, that made a big difference. He has contacted me three or four times over the past 30 years and he has a great life. He loves is wife a great deal and has two grown kids that turned out great. Although I am happy for him, it bothers me that my life is **** and I most likely will never find anyone like my first true love. I am embarrassed that my life is so bad and my great ex boyfriend knows this. Why am I so stuck on this embarrassment? especially by someone I haven't seen in 30 years and will never be apart of my life again. I feel like such a loser.
2sunny Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Why not just divorce now? There's no reason to wait. Life gets better when a person quits betraying themself. Staying in a miserable M harms your kids more than it helps them. You are setting an example to them that M is not happy/loving or kind. You can get busy living sooner rather than later.
Author WiseOwl Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 I have been in treatment for over two years for a bacterial infection. I am on IV antibiotics that are covered under my husbands insurance. I left the job I loved due to my health and was very close to be able to divorce. Heath and money issues have put things on hold. Believe me, I am not holding on to my marriage for any other reason.
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