Feelin Frisky Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 It makes a chick feel cheap if she wants to go for it and the guy says no. She may not be at all promiscuous and really like someone and have deliberated it and then if he says no she is gob-smacked with no plan B. OMG, he must think I'm a slut? Or OMG, he's a pussy. How do I get out of here, quick?
sillyanswer Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Sex is very overrated Come back when you've had some good sex. 2
ThaWholigan Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I have to say that as much as women react badly - men do their bit to perpetuate it. I can't recall the amount of times I've been called gay because I turned down a couple opportunities because I wasn't feeling it mentally. But generally I agree - a lot of women do expect us all to be horny on tap and ready for sex whenever they want it, and most of the women I have spoken to have said this much themselves . When I explain to them that it doesn't always work that way, they attribute it to problems with the guy which is funny. As for guys, they think it's gay to turn down pussy at any point, which is even funnier. Especially if she looks good. Oh your in for a torrid time if you turn down a looker 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 As tbf has said before the vast majority of real communication is non-verbal. If you're a straight, healthy male with lots of testosterone you should be having sex if given the opportunity. You don't really have a choice in the matter. Your penis will take over and make you do it. Having sex is the entire reason you were brought into existence. Everything else is just secondary. Not doing so is a way of communicating something didn't develop correctly. Either physically or some kind of mental hangup. Women are generally equally programmed to be super turned off when they sense something didn't develop correctly in a guy. Certainly not a popular opinion because people don't like thinking or being told there's something maybe wrong with them, but it what it is. You're being naturally weeded out of the gene pool. It's always possible to get over whatever is holding you back at any age though, so don't be too bummed out. This is actually one of my big fears.
ltjg45 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Sex is very overrated Sometimes I couldn't help but to feel that way. I see all of these males and females 4-5 years younger than me with 1-2 kids that they clearly can't take care of and I kept thinking, "Is getting laid at their ages is REALLY worth this kind of risk?" I still don't know how sex is actually done (I only read up on it but I'm sure that is nothing compared to actual experience) but I couldn't fathom the idea that doing it early and often is such a great thing unless you are responsible and it is clear that a severe majority of people (male and female) is clearly not up to the task. Also, don't tell me about condoms because it only increases the ability not to get the female pregnant. It is not guaranteed.
sweetjasmine Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 A double standard does exist. I cringe every time I hear/read people calling men gay, pussies, shmucks, etc, just because they don't gun for sex like a frat boy horndog. This societal framework, especially in certain cultures, leads to many, many men acting like frat boy horndogs because it's the acceptable thing to do, so some women likely have not experienced a man who wanted to wait before. Many women tend to over-internalize sexual-related issues, so they can't seem to let go of the thought that it must be THEM - they aren't sexy, or pretty, or seductive enough for you to want to have sex with them - despite what you tell them about your own reasons. TL;DR: Sorry about the double standard. It does suck. Know that some women do respect men who want to wait, though. ^ Exactly what she said. Men are human beings, not animals, and human beings sometimes don't feel like having sex. I think it's disturbing for people to get angry and criticize men who don't feel like having sex. They have a right to control their own body just as much as anybody else. That being said, it would help things out a little bit if, for instance, some of the men around here didn't go around talking about how men absolutely need sex and will have sex with anyone because they're biologically programmed to spread their seed as much as possible and blahblahblah and we can't help it because this, that, and the other thing, and all us guys want to do is screw all the time, etc. 2
kaylan Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I turned down sex once... we were play fighting, things were getting hot but she went over-the-top on playing hard to get... after reaching for the bra strap 3 or 4 times and being told it's not gonna happen... I rolled over "to go to sleep" (lay there sulking lol)... that's when she noticed the fun was over and starting to reach for the snake... I rejected her because at that stage I thought she genuinely didn't want to F.. and was only trying to now because she thought I was disappointed... I think we just both misread the situation as it was the first sex between us after a long 2 weeks of heated flirting and games... needless to say the following night we F'd like rabbits. Lol. Ive done the same thing. I dont have time for little girl games. Flirting and anticipation are all well and good, but if you cross the line Im not gonna push it as if I need to beg for sex with my actions. I dont need it that badly, and theres always the next girl if some chick wants to be silly like that. Either you want me or you dont.
animalover Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Women do have an expectation that you're like a robot as a man, press a few little buttons or make a few gestures or advances and you should be ready to pounce on her and if you don't then...there's obviously something wrong with you or they'll take it highly offensive as in not being desirable or attractive enough...it's just a huge blow to their self-esteem because it just doesn't register, it's just not fathomable. I've rejected women for sex more than several occasions...sometimes I just can't help but be extremely turned-off by the reaction that I'm "supposed" to have as a man. I also don't appreciate overly sexual advances from a woman I've just met in some random social setting, or that is in a relationship or seeing someone. Also if she's had a lot to drink or even feel she is mildly drunk...that's not very appealing or enticing of an offer, that can bite you in the arse too...plus she could probably vomit while sucking my...anywayz. I'm always caught off guard by married women when they're overly flirtatious and forthcoming, It just never crosses my mind that they'd cross a line and many times they have and by the time I notice I'm like holy shet...but that's too much drama for me to take a walk down that road...hell no, that isn't worth entertaining for me in the slightest. I've realized in my experience that many people aren't truly satisfied in their relationships and willing to jeopardize what they have if they see you have something more to offer as a man...or to their eyes, as chemistry, attraction or what not. I also have never been interested in promiscuous women with a reputation, no thanks, I respect you and your decisions to do what you want in your life, it's your body and all of that, but don't bother me...literally just met them and was in the right place at the right time I attribute it to. I have no problem walking away from that one, I'll pass on that any day, I don't care how horny I am. I always told my younger cousins and younger guys teasing them "Five minutes of pleasure isn't worth a lifetime of pain or drama" in relation to STD's and knocking someone up. If it doesn't feel right, don't take the chance, because it only takes once to get caught. Let's just say I've seen a few guys not take my advice while "playing the field" and get caught. I told them they're rolling the dice, it's not all fun and games...but their choice, now they got to deal with it. Unlike many guys I also don't take pride in adding an ole notch to the belt...after all in that scenario what would I have been proud of? I've had sex on a few occasions where I regretted doing so and just went through with it...I suppose like how a woman feels when a man is making advances and is too afraid to say no, I'm not afraid to say no, but I just tried to go with it but emotionally It's just not there for me...casual sex is just not very satisfying to me...unfortunately I wish I was programmed like other men and even women in that regard....would make it much easier in my life emotionally, I see plenty of people sleep with others without any regard or blinking an eye but I can't shake the wiring in my own brain and devalue intimacy to that degree...at least for myself. I guess there's a fine line between casual for me however, I'm not saying I haven't had FWB's, but at least I knew them, knew them actually well...probably more than people do in their actual relationships. My relationships are more like being in a marriage, I can't imagine what being married is going to be like if that's the case. I think it's a shame men have such a lowly reputation, but based on what I've seen I definitely haven't met any guys who were remotely close to the way I was at least...definitely a rogue from my experience in that regard. Some guys aren't very successful with women but pretty good guys, so they usually find themselves a decent girl and get hitched pretty quickly, the guy who's play the field are pretty raunchy and lowly...they take everything and anything they can get, that's what I'd say unfortunately the vast majority is so I can't blame the expectations or perception of what women have of men. I'm not saying I'm a saint, I'm definitely not, but at least for myself It always felt more than just sex...I can at least say that. And I never just ditched a woman or pissed in her face and never showed up again or ever talked to her again like she was nobody and nothing to me. But then again men are pretty cowardly anyway, many have no fortitude as men or responsibility, they just take the chicken ***** way out all the time and don't have the balls to face the music...they're too scared to say how they really feel or to get yelled at, they can't even admit what they're doing to themselves. I suppose if it's casual it would be mutual and that wouldn't always be the case as described above...but that's not really my style anyway. If I didn't have a conscience or morals I'd probably be having a field day, field week, field month, field year! But damnit, my wisdom, my experience and knowledge came with a price...I know better, I know what I would be doing and how it would be affecting the women that were truly interested and had serious emotional investment because I'm not just a stick it and quit kinda guy...I know what affect and impact and I would be making, especially with young women...so in that regard I'm jealous of some of these bastards out there, they get to just stick it in whatever they want and not care, and try their absolute best to get laid as much as possible and here I am sitting on gold! Ah well...there's always...LoveShack....bwahahahaha! ::cries himself to sleep in pathetic self-loathing whimper, holding his teddy:: A bump for this post.... it is Gold
kaylan Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Ive turned down sex a number of times, even with women I would normally have sex with, for various reasons. Sometimes its just timing, but sometimes its also Im just not that easily had.... if they want it and will just get it elsewhere, so be it... the only reason a woman might be pissed or accuse the guy of being gay, not manly, scared, etc. is the same reasons a guy would do this to a woman: rejection rationalization. If you can have an open and honest conversation, there is no reason for it to turn nasty... and if it does, then your instincts were right to begin with Good post. Agree completely PS - If thats you in your avatar, youre quite the handsome fella. Couldnt help but notice. No homo lololz:laugh:
sillyanswer Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I still don't know how sex is actually done You can probably find instructional videos on the internet somewhere.
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