999999 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I'm sorry if this is really long. I just really wanted to vent this out and I just want some insight and advice too. In August of last year, I met a guy 6 years older than me on an online game. At first, he was just helping me progress through the game, but we soon started talking about more personal things and decided to exchange numbers. We only texted at first. We texted all day, from the moment we wake up until the moment we went to bed. As we were getting to know each other, we realized how much interests and favorites we had in common (from Deadpool to a plesiosaur). He told me I was his dream girl and that he had a crush on me. I decided to call him a couple of weeks after we started texting because I wanted to see if I could talk to him as easily as I could text him. Our first conversation went by really well; we talked for hours without realizing it. The next couple of months, we texted all day, and talked on the phone before going to bed. I started to realize how much I really liked him, but I didn't want to tell him cause it was embarrassing, so whenever we would talk on the phone I would just start crying and he would comfort me even though he didn't know the reason why. The following phone conversations just went by like this, until I finally told him that I liked him. He said he was happy because he really liked me too. We would talk and text about how much we liked each other and how much fun we would have if we were together (He lives in a different state). I still kept on crying on the phone each time we talked because this time I was sad that we couldn't be together. I also began to question him and doubt his feelings because I couldn't believe that anyone would like me that way. I've never had a boyfriend before nor have I liked anyone before, and as far as I know, no one has ever liked me. He knows this. He still comforted me and told me that everything is ok and that he wished he could show me how much he cared for me. I cared a lot for him too, but I was scared to get too attached to him since I didn't know him personally. I told him this and I guess I hurt his feelings. He works as a cook in a bar and gets out of work at really late, but I would still stay up for him so we could talk for a little bit even though I had school the next day. For Christmas, I went out of the country to visit my family. We weren't able to talk as much because of the time difference and his work. When we were able to text each other, he was telling me that he was falling in love with me and that if he didn't care for me, we wouldn't have spent so much time getting to know each other for months. He said that he would be a better man for me (He has been really busy and we weren't able to talk to each other the week I left). I told him that I was falling in love with him too, that I do trust him, but I'm still cautious. I also told him that he doesn't have to worry because I understand he is busy. We didn't talk again until after I came back to the US. When I got back (present time), he barely replies to my messages and doesn't call me anymore. He says he is back in school and having work too is keeping him really busy and tired all the time. I told him not to worry, but I still missed him so I would still send him messages, one or two a day, telling him to have a good day and stuff, but he never replied, and I would still call him at night at around the time he would get off work, but he wouldn't answer. One day I was getting fed up with this and texted him something along the lines of "Why did I ever trust you? Why did I ever believe in what you said?" and he never replied. A couple of days later, I texted him again. I told him that we should meet because I don't want to wonder what could have been at some point in the future. He replied apologizing about how much he's hurt me, but he can't come to meet me because school is using up his money. I can't meet him cause my parents will kill me. Our next conversation was a couple of days later. I told him I was sick and he wished me well and said that he would call me after work. He never did so I told him goodnight. He soon replied with I'm sorry I fell asleep. I said it's ok and we said our goodnights. I texted him a couple of times a week and he never replied to those. I was fine with it at first, but I couldn't hold back my feelings and I got depressed. In my last text to him, I asked if he could call me after work so we could talk for a little bit but he never replied. I don't know what happened. I was really honest with him, and I thought he was too. He was telling me how much he liked me and now he doesn't talk to me at all. He was the one who told me his feelings first. Did I do something wrong? Was he just playing with me? Should I just forget about him? Should I believe him and wait for him?
Phoe Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I still kept on crying on the phone each time we talked because this time I was sad that we couldn't be together. I also began to question him and doubt his feelings because I couldn't believe that anyone would like me that way. One day I was getting fed up with this and texted him something along the lines of "Why did I ever trust you? Why did I ever believe in what you said?" and he never replied. The 2 points above jumped out at me as being VERY alarming. These things probably pushed him away
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 First. How old are you dear? Okay. He went cold Turkey on you. Something changed in his life, could be many different things: school(obvious), he lost interest(seems that way), or found him another girl. If he did find another girl, he probably used a cold approach and no contact/limited contact, as a way of not hurting you, by telling you. Whatever his reasons. Whether what he says or not about school and work eating up his time, doesn't matter. He lost interest. Though a question: Why won't he meet with you? That is strange. A redflag. He could be hiding something. Alas, it's the end of the road. I'd stop texting him or anyone who cannot reply.
Author 999999 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 First. How old are you dear? I'm 19. Not kidding
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 You two shouldn't be so harsh on the OP. He stuck it out through her crying. Something just happened. It wasn't her crying. Really, it isn't alarming. I'd say him not wanting to meet in person is more alarming. Her first relationship. Her first Tim's being in love. Over a distance. Easy to doubt him. Plus we don't even know her age.
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I'm 19. Not kidding Ah. You need to control your emotions then silly. Though I understand it is your first relationship...and given it's an Ldr. Long distance. I doubt your crying pushed him away. The other two posters aren't wrong either. He could have been pushed away, I don't know. I don't believe he was pushed away by you. Maybe by life. Everyone can only guess by what they read.
Author 999999 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Ah. You need to control your emotions then silly. I know. :/ I'm doing better actually. The only thing that bothers me now is that he said all those things about liking me and then he just cuts me off. I knew he has been busy lately and it's not like I was asking him to blog me his day. If he doesn't want to talk to me anymore, that's fine. I guess I just wish that we had a definitive conclusion with honest reasons. LOL In the end, I just really wanted to vent this off cause none of my friends or family knew about him and I couldn't close it until it was heard. XD
starla33 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I'm sorry if this is really long. I just really wanted to vent this out and I just want some insight and advice too. In August of last year, I met a guy 6 years older than me on an online game. At first, he was just helping me progress through the game, but we soon started talking about more personal things and decided to exchange numbers. We only texted at first. We texted all day, from the moment we wake up until the moment we went to bed. As we were getting to know each other, we realized how much interests and favorites we had in common (from Deadpool to a plesiosaur). He told me I was his dream girl and that he had a crush on me. I decided to call him a couple of weeks after we started texting because I wanted to see if I could talk to him as easily as I could text him. Our first conversation went by really well; we talked for hours without realizing it. The next couple of months, we texted all day, and talked on the phone before going to bed. I started to realize how much I really liked him, but I didn't want to tell him cause it was embarrassing, so whenever we would talk on the phone I would just start crying and he would comfort me even though he didn't know the reason why. The following phone conversations just went by like this, until I finally told him that I liked him. He said he was happy because he really liked me too. We would talk and text about how much we liked each other and how much fun we would have if we were together (He lives in a different state). I still kept on crying on the phone each time we talked because this time I was sad that we couldn't be together. I also began to question him and doubt his feelings because I couldn't believe that anyone would like me that way. I've never had a boyfriend before nor have I liked anyone before, and as far as I know, no one has ever liked me. He knows this. He still comforted me and told me that everything is ok and that he wished he could show me how much he cared for me. I cared a lot for him too, but I was scared to get too attached to him since I didn't know him personally. I told him this and I guess I hurt his feelings. He works as a cook in a bar and gets out of work at really late, but I would still stay up for him so we could talk for a little bit even though I had school the next day. For Christmas, I went out of the country to visit my family. We weren't able to talk as much because of the time difference and his work. When we were able to text each other, he was telling me that he was falling in love with me and that if he didn't care for me, we wouldn't have spent so much time getting to know each other for months. He said that he would be a better man for me (He has been really busy and we weren't able to talk to each other the week I left). I told him that I was falling in love with him too, that I do trust him, but I'm still cautious. I also told him that he doesn't have to worry because I understand he is busy. We didn't talk again until after I came back to the US. When I got back (present time), he barely replies to my messages and doesn't call me anymore. He says he is back in school and having work too is keeping him really busy and tired all the time. I told him not to worry, but I still missed him so I would still send him messages, one or two a day, telling him to have a good day and stuff, but he never replied, and I would still call him at night at around the time he would get off work, but he wouldn't answer. One day I was getting fed up with this and texted him something along the lines of "Why did I ever trust you? Why did I ever believe in what you said?" and he never replied. A couple of days later, I texted him again. I told him that we should meet because I don't want to wonder what could have been at some point in the future. He replied apologizing about how much he's hurt me, but he can't come to meet me because school is using up his money. I can't meet him cause my parents will kill me. Our next conversation was a couple of days later. I told him I was sick and he wished me well and said that he would call me after work. He never did so I told him goodnight. He soon replied with I'm sorry I fell asleep. I said it's ok and we said our goodnights. I texted him a couple of times a week and he never replied to those. I was fine with it at first, but I couldn't hold back my feelings and I got depressed. In my last text to him, I asked if he could call me after work so we could talk for a little bit but he never replied. I don't know what happened. I was really honest with him, and I thought he was too. He was telling me how much he liked me and now he doesn't talk to me at all. He was the one who told me his feelings first. Did I do something wrong? Was he just playing with me? Should I just forget about him? Should I believe him and wait for him? Have you seen Catfish?
Author 999999 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Have you seen Catfish? Yes, I watch it all the time cause it feels so relatable.
starla33 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Yes, I watch it all the time cause it feels so relatable. well as you have seen on the show, there is probably a very good reason this guy doesn't want to meet up (not to do with you)
callingyouuu Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 The only thing that bothers me now is that he said all those things about liking me and then he just cuts me off. Sometimes people don't fully see the gravity of what they're saying while they're in the moment, especially when not communicating in person. When Facebook used to have the wall-to-wall feature where you could track conversations between people, it was pretty common to see couples post increasingly dramatic variants of "I love you!" back and forth and then break up within a couple of weeks. I don't think he was playing you. In that moment, he probably felt that he really meant it. I would be concerned that more recently he hasn't been replying for an extended period of time, and I might begin to interpret that as waning interest on his part. Sorry.
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