kaylan Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 (edited) Gonna spend the night in tonight. Its gross outside (post snow storm), cold, and Im lazy tonight. Plus Im trying to catch up on my song writing. So Im on POF and OKC...and I wanted to know what compels people to message someone? I usually message someone whos profile sparks a response outta me. Like if the girl is witty, or super smart, or we have something in common. The problem is (def more so on POF than OKC), is that many girls have crap profiles. They dont say much about themselves. Or they super cliche stuff, about how they like to have fun and try new things. Theres nothing personal or unique in many profiles. And the thing is, pretty girls are a dime a freaking dozen in NY....even in the suburbs where I live. So I was wondering what some of the more selective dudes here do. I dont wanna just spam message girls, because that feels desperate. But it is a turn off how so many women have nothing to say, seem to show no personality, and wanna just get by on their pictures. I actually feel dumb for actually have more than a paragraph in my profile lol. I know Ill have to deal with OLD just being like this. Its mens faults really, since most guys let girls get away with showing no substance, since most guys message on pics alone and sex drive alone. Its a shame Im not the typical guy, because if I was then I could just message anything that looked good. Like I want to date(maybe even date around), but I dont have any great urge to message the vast majority of profiles I come across. If I wanted to just have sex, I could see myself messaging a girl just cause shes pretty. But hell, even then I like a personality connection with the girl cause it makes the sex better. Edited February 10, 2013 by kaylan
Author kaylan Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Weren't you thinking about moving? Possibly. But that takes time and saving up cash, and then finding a new job first as well. Until then, I dont want to just not date.
Leigh 87 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I always put sh8t about me that was unique on my profile.. I just thought " hmm, well any guy worth knowing would prefer it is I put an individual spin on things" ....The problem was, most guys just added me because I was cute (in comparison to other women online) I wish I had more guys who added me because they thought what I had to say was cool:mad: I think most men tend to just skim over profiles, and literally wrote girls messages after ONLY viewing their picture!
ltjg45 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Just joined OKCupid and, right now, I hasn't found a profile worth clicking myself to. So far, most of the females values a fat wallet more than anything else, which is not going to work with me. Yeah, yeah, I'm unemployed but even if I were to work with 2 jobs, I STILL prefer not to be with a woman who values money more than anything else. In fact, that is more-or-less a deal breaker with me. That just screams "gold digger" to me.
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I don't think I found one OKC profile in my city that I connected to. It's a matter of which one is less blah than the other. 2
SmileFace Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Just joined OKCupid and, right now, I hasn't found a profile worth clicking myself to. So far, most of the females values a fat wallet more than anything else, which is not going to work with me. Yeah, yeah, I'm unemployed but even if I were to work with 2 jobs, I STILL prefer not to be with a woman who values money more than anything else. In fact, that is more-or-less a deal breaker with me. That just screams "gold digger" to me. Try again when you don't have a complex. That is like a chick going... ugh guys just value a thin waist. Yes I am fat right now and even if I was skinny I wouldn't want him. - cut the ****. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Yes SF, I recently asked a guy what he does for a living and he called me a gold digger
ltjg45 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Try again when you don't have a complex. That is like a chick going... ugh guys just value a thin waist. Yes I am fat right now and even if I was skinny I wouldn't want him. - cut the ****. I'm serious. A female noted saying that her partner's monetary worth is highly important to her. I was like, "Scratch that one off the list. I'm not making 6 figures anytime soon." I also don't care enough for money. As long as I got enough to take care of myself and whoever else, I'm content. I don't need any more than that.
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I'm serious. A female noted saying that her partner's monetary worth is highly important to her. I was like, "Scratch that one off the list. I'm not making 6 figures anytime soon." I also don't care enough for money. As long as I got enough to take care of myself and whoever else, I'm content. I don't need any more than that. she probably meant 7 figures
Author kaylan Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 *Kanye shrug*. Ima just keep at it for now, and force myself to message one of the "blah" girls. Maybe theyll surprise me and have an interesting personality. For now I must obtain a new digi-cam so I can take better and never pics. Cellphone pics suck lol
ltjg45 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 she probably meant 7 figures Well, I wish her the best of luck in finding a millionaire. I also make sure to avoid them too.
Author kaylan Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Wow...POF is a JOKE compared to OKC. This PREGNANT woman has a profile picture where shes clearly "showing". And her first sentence is "Just a heads up, im pregnant, the sperm donor is not in the picturw and isnt going to be in the future either. So if you cant accpet my child along with me then you might as well leave now ." Id link the pic or profile if it wasnt against the rules. But wow...I never come across stuff like that on OKC. The quality of women is sooo different. Nothing wrong with single moms trying to date, but jeeeeez....have the kid first. I can see why guys call POF "plenty of single moms"...because theres way more on that site who do stuff like that than on OKCupid.
SJC2008 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Kaylan, as vague as this answer it's the truth. Just go on dates! That's the only way! I got really excited about the last woman I dated because she actually asked questions back instead of it being a one way "interview". Well it didn't matter because she slowly eased into her selfish/controlling self. So while I agree with you that a well written profile SHOULD be a good sign, it may no mean anything. Just like I thought of how the last woman engaged was a good sign didn't mean anything:( Good luck!
Author kaylan Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 And whooops...not pregnant woman. I meant pregnant girl. (yes shes only 20) 1
SJC2008 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Wow...POF is a JOKE compared to OKC. This PREGNANT woman has a profile picture where shes clearly "showing". And her first sentence is "Just a heads up, im pregnant, the sperm donor is not in the picturw and isnt going to be in the future either. So if you cant accpet my child along with me then you might as well leave now ." Id link the pic or profile if it wasnt against the rules. But wow...I never come across stuff like that on OKC. The quality of women is sooo different. Nothing wrong with single moms trying to date, but jeeeeez....have the kid first. I can see why guys call POF "plenty of single moms"...because theres way more on that site who do stuff like that than on OKCupid. Don't talk about my baby mama like that! lol That's horrible! I literally thought I seen it all with OLD.
SmileFace Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 And whooops...not pregnant woman. I meant pregnant girl. (yes shes only 20) I found this funny. I actually wrote a a pregnant girl once and asked her WTF she was doing. I couldn't believe it. Any wooo Just write who ever you want - don't put much thought into it, it is only dating. POF is a mess but the guys are hotter. I haven't OLD in NYC for 3 years so I can't really say anything about that. However I will say NY(not NYC) is one of the worst places to find dates. I refuse to date anyone in this damn state anymore. I will date when I move.
Green Light Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I got really excited about the last woman I dated because she actually asked questions back instead of it being a one way "interview". That is EXTREMELY rare!
ThaWholigan Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I always try to do something really abstract as a start - on average I get a reply every 5 messages. I don't message a lot of girls either if I'm honest. At most I message a few in a week. OKC seems to get more responses, POF not so much. Ironically, I've found girls on POF more attractive - but OKC seems to work better for me.
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I found more intelligent people on OKC. POF is more like a junk yard :/ 1
SmileFace Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I found more intelligent people on OKC. POF is more like a junk yard :/ Yeah.. this is true but that leads to stereotypes...haha
Author kaylan Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 I always try to do something really abstract as a start - on average I get a reply every 5 messages. I don't message a lot of girls either if I'm honest. At most I message a few in a week. OKC seems to get more responses, POF not so much. Ironically, I've found girls on POF more attractive - but OKC seems to work better for me. Id say POF and OKC have the same percentage of attractive people. POF just has WAY more users. That being said, the rate of low quality women is much higher on POF. A lot of girls with nothing to offer besides their looks...which in turn means they arent worth anything but their vagina if I have to be blunt about it. Funny thing is, most of those girls say they dont want guys who are after sex, but from almost every single guy I know whos done both OKC and POF...the POF girls put out a lot faster and at higher rates than OKC girls.I found more intelligent people on OKC. POF is more like a junk yard :/ If you cant beat em, join em. I just really shortened and dumbed down my POF profile all because I know people wont read it at the length it was. And also because I know pics matter more. I didnt go as far as making my body shot my default. Im not at that level of junk just yet. 1
PhillyDude Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Gonna spend the night in tonight. Its gross outside (post snow storm), cold, and Im lazy tonight. Plus Im trying to catch up on my song writing. So Im on POF and OKC...and I wanted to know what compels people to message someone? I usually message someone whos profile sparks a response outta me. Like if the girl is witty, or super smart, or we have something in common. The problem is (def more so on POF than OKC), is that many girls have crap profiles. They dont say much about themselves. Or they super cliche stuff, about how they like to have fun and try new things. Theres nothing personal or unique in many profiles. And the thing is, pretty girls are a dime a freaking dozen in NY....even in the suburbs where I live. So I was wondering what some of the more selective dudes here do. I dont wanna just spam message girls, because that feels desperate. But it is a turn off how so many women have nothing to say, seem to show no personality, and wanna just get by on their pictures. I actually feel dumb for actually have more than a paragraph in my profile lol. I know Ill have to deal with OLD just being like this. Its mens faults really, since most guys let girls get away with showing no substance, since most guys message on pics alone and sex drive alone. Its a shame Im not the typical guy, because if I was then I could just message anything that looked good. Like I want to date(maybe even date around), but I dont have any great urge to message the vast majority of profiles I come across. If I wanted to just have sex, I could see myself messaging a girl just cause shes pretty. But hell, even then I like a personality connection with the girl cause it makes the sex better. Lots of girls have empty profiles because they feel they don't need to put forth the effort since they have a vagina
PhillyDude Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Possibly. But that takes time and saving up cash, and then finding a new job first as well. Until then, I dont want to just not date. So you think dating is more important than MOVING?
PhillyDude Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Just joined OKCupid and, right now, I hasn't found a profile worth clicking myself to. So far, most of the females values a fat wallet more than anything else, which is not going to work with me. Yeah, yeah, I'm unemployed but even if I were to work with 2 jobs, I STILL prefer not to be with a woman who values money more than anything else. In fact, that is more-or-less a deal breaker with me. That just screams "gold digger" to me. Why are you trying to date if you are unemployed? Dating involves a lot of mental energy and I would think u would want to use most of your mental energy for seeking employment.
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