idontknow98 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I broke up with her but I regret the decision badly....it was over commitment. I contacted her after a week of being broken up and I apologized and asked for a second chance. She said she could accept my apology but coudn't give me a second chance so easily. Then a week later she came up to me in person and says she was afraid if we tried again I would feel the same way the first time and that I shouldn't contact her anymore. Does she still have feelings for me or miss me? Is it possible that she will give me a second chance? I haven't contacted her in a week.
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I hate to say it dude, but sounds like she is done. She doesn't feel as if a second chance will work; be different. You've not spoken in a week. Stranger things have happened though. I cannot tell you if she's missing you or not.
denxnis Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 If you love her I would try really hard one time. Flowers/chocolate, will you be my valentine. If she says no after that never speak to her again. The key here is not to beg for her back multiple times, do it once and that's it. What's the worst that can happen, she rejects you and prolongs your suffering.
Author idontknow98 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 I actually did give her flowers before she told me she was afraid to try again.
NoLeafClover Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 My ex did the same thing to me. Broke up with me due to fighting about her lying problems - Tore my heart in pieces and wouldnt even want to pick up my calls when I'd call her. I went NC and shorty after she would text me stuff and then even call me restricted. I never replied but she had plenty of chances to get me back. The thing is she wasn't doing it the right way. She wasn't saying what I wanted to hear and was doing immature things (such as calling restricted or only texting me questions like "did you really love me".) Your ex has every right to feel like you will break her heart again and that she doesn't want to go thru that again. Not only that, but you most likely broke the trust you two built through out the time together. If you are just missing this person and just KIND OF regreting things then let it be. If you are 100% sure that you f'ed up, then it will take more than just chocolate to get her back. *You need to show her and explain to her EXACTLY WHY you did what you did and that you made a very big mistake. Don't forget to expend the conversation with the fix to the problem - What you're going to do to fix yourself and the relationship. Sounds retarded but putting myself in your relationship *The above things would of had to happen for me to even consider taking my ex (dumper) back. Just saying "sorry I messed Up" would not cut it with me, I would need to know how you will be in the future to make sure this isn't going to happen.
Author idontknow98 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 I really do love her. I dont just miss what we had..I miss her and everything about her. And I am just not really sure of how to go about telling her everything..like I dont know the right time and the right thing to say.
GingerVixen Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I broke up with her but I regret the decision badly....it was over commitment. I contacted her after a week of being broken up and I apologized and asked for a second chance. She said she could accept my apology but coudn't give me a second chance so easily. Then a week later she came up to me in person and says she was afraid if we tried again I would feel the same way the first time and that I shouldn't contact her anymore. Does she still have feelings for me or miss me? Is it possible that she will give me a second chance? I haven't contacted her in a week. There are two possibilities in my opinion: 1. She doesn't want you anymore 2. She wants you back, but she's proud/vain and won't make it easy to you until you've begged enough for her attention. My suggestion: Ask her once again what she wants. Say : "Do you want me back or not? I know I made a mistake but it was a moment of hot temper, and if you take me back I'd be really happy, but if you don't I just want you to be MATURE enough to tell me, then I'll leave your life for good and look for someone who really wants me". If she takes you back: celebrate. If she dumps you or goes blahblahblah: NC + Show her you're happier than ever. You've played your part wisely and politely. Now it's over. 1
Author idontknow98 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 I think that has been some of the most useful advice I've gotten from this thread. I am definitely considering that. I just now have to pick the right time to bring it up because it has been a week since we have spoken.
GingerVixen Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I think that has been some of the most useful advice I've gotten from this thread. I am definitely considering that. I just now have to pick the right time to bring it up because it has been a week since we have spoken. You're welcome! Good luck with that. Tell us later what's happened.
Author idontknow98 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 I am kind of afraid to break the NC. She ignored me a week before she ever came up to me in person and told me that. I am just afraid she wont answer me.
NoLeafClover Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 (edited) I am kind of afraid to break the NC. She ignored me a week before she ever came up to me in person and told me that. I am just afraid she wont answer me. IMHO - you would be doing the wrong thing if you decide to contact her if she has ignored you once. I know it's not what you want to hear, but the way I see it - Unless she is willing to talk then you have a chance. If she ignores you or doesn't pick up, or doesn't call back then you should not be contacting her. You made it clear to her once you wanted to give it another try and she said she was afraid of being hurt again. Now you have to sit back and wait and let the time do its thing. Hopefully she will be missing you and contact you. Trust me on this I seen it happen with my friends relationships and with myself. Eventhough I was a dumpee I flipped the tables around on my ex as if I dumped her. She would txt me asking me if I ever trully loved her etc. 3-4 weeks after NC. My advice to you is not to break NC unless you see an effort on her side and feel she is truly missing you. Don't contact her first eventhough you were originally the dumper. The last thing you want to have is tables turned around on you and her getting an ego boost. Edited February 11, 2013 by NoLeafClover
Author idontknow98 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 It has been a month since we have broke up...but only 1 week since we last came in contact.
Coping Vortex Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 I broke up with her but I regret the decision badly....it was over commitment. I contacted her after a week of being broken up and I apologized and asked for a second chance. She said she could accept my apology but coudn't give me a second chance so easily. Then a week later she came up to me in person and says she was afraid if we tried again I would feel the same way the first time and that I shouldn't contact her anymore. Does she still have feelings for me or miss me? Is it possible that she will give me a second chance? I haven't contacted her in a week. Give her time. She is hurt and embarrassed because you caught her in lies. The fact that you chased her let her knows she can have you back anytime. Just be patient. She will come around her embarrassment and anger will subside and she will remember the good times. Just hold off or she will reject you more. My ex was more into thinking about me 3 months after the BU then anytime before that.
cavalier99 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 It has been a month since we have broke up...but only 1 week since we last came in contact. I say just give up completely. Doesn't matter who broke up with who. Go hardcore NC. At this point the BU is real. Treat it so. If she comes knocking on you door so be it. Otherwise i say move on 100.percent. cut her out completely. Her loss, you tried, end of story.
broken1015 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Oh boy..... Let me just say that I've been recently left because my ex was terrified of commitment. Of course I know he loved me, when he could... It was the fear that broke something in me this last time he ended it. Have you had an ongoing commitment issue, or was this a one time thing? Having someone who is constantly telling you how uncertain their feelings are and how unsure they are about moving forward with you, really takes a toll on A person. I wonder what I did wrong, I wonder why I wasn't good enough, I wonder if there was someone else, I basically tore myself up and tried to re-assemble everything so I could be what he wanted. And surprise surprise, I never figured out what he wanted and neither did he... I'm telling you this because I wished MY ex would have figured it out before I got to a place that seems impossible to come back from. If you love her, and I mean REALLY love her, can't envision your life without her, and you KNOW in your heart of hearts that this is what you want, then SHOW HER that you're sorry. Saying it will not be good enough, and it shouldn't be. Those words mean nothing without action backing them up.... Not tears, not depression, not telling everyone you know how badly you messed up.... It takes action. IF you come to the conclusion that she is truly what you want, and remember, this includes the good, the bad and the ugly parts of her, then prove it. Don't buy flowers, presents, jewelry, etc.... The best way to prove your love is by working through YOUR issues. On your own. And, oddly enough, you have to do it for YOU. you may eventually get her back, and you may not, but if you're doing the work on yourself, no matter what the outcome you'll be okay. I still love my ex with all of my heart, and I think of him every minute of the day.... But, if he came running back right now, I would probably be terrified. He hurt me so badly, you have no idea.... He hasn't spoken to me in nearly two weeks, I haven't contacted him and I couldn't even if I wanted to. The fear of being hurt that badly again is overwhelming... Honey, if you love her, go get her.... If you have ANY doubts, love her enough to let her go. Best of luck to you....
Author idontknow98 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Well..I have nothing to lose..
Author idontknow98 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 (edited) Another thing I've noticed about her is the way she has been dressing lately. When we dated she always looked nice but not really dressed up. Now she dresses kind of sloppy..like just jeans and kind of an oversized t shirt with converse...but when we dated she always wore a sweater and dressier pants or a dress. I dont know..I just thought this was kind of odd. Another thing is that she has been acting happy when she sees me but around other people they tell me she just kind of mopes around. Is this a sign of anything? I see her on a daily basis at school if you were wondering. Edited February 12, 2013 by idontknow98
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