Is this all gonna work out?

[DBATSKITTLEEDAT]

Hello all, I'm new to the forum so I shall give some background on my situation. My LDR had just ended two weeks ago, we lived a few hundred miles away across different states. The relationship had lasted a year and a half. We met by some freak chance on the internet on a video chat site and it was by pure chance we started talking and becoming friendly and eventually dating. We both have seen each other 5 times and visited each other, met each others' friends and family and all of that. Everything seemed to be going fine on that day she left. My most recent visit a few weeks earlier had gone fantastic and it was by far our best visit we've ever had. Our relationship has been very serious, we've gone on many romantic trips and have been very intimate. We got along extremely well, we shared many interests and gave each other some interests as well. We were each other's best friends. We worked so well together. Her friends were jealous and her family knew about how well we were together and her future ambitions with us. We did fight but always were able to resolve our problems very quickly (good problem solving team), and when we together in person, it felt right and was the best time I've had in my life.

But that day she called me at 3 or so in the morning (I used to stay up very late) and she said she couldn't do this anymore. She had been having a lot of things going on in her life at this time (moving out of her home, financial issues, problems with her family) so she said she couldn't emotionally handle a relationship anymore and she needed time for herself to figure out what she was doing with her life. She stated that this was only circumstantial and she still deeply loved me. I also asked that if I had been living by her if this whole thing would still have happened and she stated no. She said that this was the best thing for the both of us and that eventually it'll help both her and i. She said she had been thinking about this for 3 months and put a lot of thought into her decision. I naturally panicked and said that I would move down there if this resolved it but she stated that that's not what's best for me, this breaking was. She said she still feels I'm her soulmate and very much loves me but needed this time for herself.

We mutually initiated No Contact and I went on a personal re-evaluation about what went wrong. I realized that I was too emotionally needy and that I had lost the confidence that got me to get her to fall in love with me in the first place. I had become a shell of my former self. I have always been one against substances of any kind (smoking, drinking and the like) but her past had had that. i had been very strict about that and had basically forced her to stop all of that (much of that was her personal choice for me but i acted like it was all me). I also freaked out about the fact that she didn't "need" me like I needed her. Basically, I was emotionally needy and was an extreme tightwad and acted like we were married and in great need of each other. After thinking this through, I feel that that is the root cause of why she left instead of just asking for some time to herself without ending it.

I took this new-found realization and started making some personal changes. I started eating much healthier than I had, got rid of some annoying habits and stopped procrastinating with school and my own personal responsibilites. I also started getting more sleep and began to find a new found confidence. I can state with full confidence that in this time I have made a lot of personal growth. I realize that we both are in a relationship by choice, not by need. I acted as if her whole life depended on me and I basically took away her identity in the relationship. I see that I need to treat her with more respect and be able to have more confidence in everything and know that she is a great person and able to make decisions without me constantly surveilancing them worrying about the outcome. I wasn't willing to let myself make mistakes and it drove me insane. It was definiitely exhibited there. Another thing i realized was the fact my whole life I hadn't been really doing anything specifically for myself. I had a mild case of seperation anxiety and I have finally overcome it. I made so many excuses for why I wouldn't move down there right away, she gave me all the hints she wanted to be together permanently so bad too. I decided that I need to man up and do things for me. i love the people around me but I need to do what is best for me. I need to have confidence in my choices and be able to be ambitious and go after whatever I want because I can and shouldn't play it safe, that's what made her leave.

So now I am waiting in NC, we stated we will reconvene to seriously talk in a few weeks and I don't know if it is too late or what. I feel like I can get her back but it's because I am able to be the person I used to be. This personal growth has made me weigh what is really important and I know she is. The way it all came together and the way we have been just is something I won't give up. I also know I will make mistakes in my life, i can accept that now, and I just want to be able to make those mistakes with her. I have been very supportive of this time for her, I've told her my support in thinking that this is best for her and she needs this time and she has recognized it and thanked me for my support. We have agreed we can't be friends due to the emotional connection we have shared. When this few weeks are up, I will tell her my personal change and that I will be less emotionally needy and much more confident in myself. I won't suggest getting back together right away (so she can have a little more time for herself), but to "restart" and just start over the right way, with me going down there and doing the things we had always strived for but I was too cowardly to go out and do. And state that I will make mistakes and accept those future mistakes but want to do them with her because she's the one person I trust more than anyone with that. What do you think? Am I doing the right thing? Will this work? thanks for your responses

[justwhoiam]

I'm sorry no one answered your questions. Anyway, how did it go? Did you get back in touch with her or was the NC final?