mlcj69 Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 My girlfriend and I of 2.5 years broke it off last night. We decided to remain friends as we cant possibly stop talking to each other. We are still best friends, but it really just doesn't feel the same as before. I've never really experienced a "best" friend that I tell absolutely everything to, except her. And I feel like I'm losing her. She decided to break it off because of the distance. It REALLY sucks. Our relationship was becoming boring and she was feeling lonely. She says she feels bad if she hang out with other guys or friends and stuff. I told her she is allowed to have a life outside of our routine texts and skype. I tried convincing her that we should try other things and visit one more time to she if she feels the same as she does now. But she didn't want to. We were texting and I told her I am talking to strangers on one of those creeper site (you know what im talking about) about what happened between us and she replies "Don't find another girlfriend". I wasn't planning to but I offered the agreement that she can't find someone else either. And I made her promise. Though doesn't mean she will fufill her promise, but I am trusting her on this one. Last night I texted (once we were already broken off) her to try different things to see if she would change her opinion on whats happening between us. But she just replied "I dont want to be with you. Let's see what happens in a week. I might just change my mind". To me that sounds like I will be a rebound if she realizes it was a mistake. I still want to see her this summer if she decides to even visit. But I also don't want her to be with anyone else. Not even kiss anyone else. Is that too much to ask for? Do you think she would come back to me? This really isn't healthy for our relationship and its killing me. We both love each other dearly. But I guess we aren't "IN" love at this moment. Every relationship eventually ends their honeymoon stage :/
pettie Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Are you in college? How much longer before you are reunited for good? or any tangible plan to be together in the future?
DBATSKITTLEEDAT Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Well first off, NC is the best way to go. You can't be friends, the emotional side of this whole instance will linger and you won't be able to problem solve. If you have dated others before and this one just feels right. Then wait it out, you gotta be able to not talk for a little while, better yourself. And only through bettering yourself will you find a concrete solution that is not emotion based or desperation filled. You will be able to be concrete for yourself and for her. If it means that much to you, you have to be the rock and you need to have the concrete answers. Take some time soul-search and evaluate what went wrong and go from there. Good luck friend
Author mlcj69 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 I never added that I was in the same position as her last year. She has a "distraction" right now. A boy telling her what she wants to hear. I know EXACTLY what she is feeling. This crush I developed seemed so perfect to me. Same interests, similar relationship problems at the time (she too was breaking up with her bf), wanted that physical affection we both needed, AND attractive. I told my ex to avoid the situation all together. She just said no. That this boy is her friend and is too nice. THATS THE TRAP. This girl was my friend and extremely nice to everyone, but just had that flirtation with me. I felt terrible for liking her and wanting to end our relationship at the time, although we were having some trouble. I have been trying to talk to her all week why she shouldn't break up with me because it would be a mistake. I told her what I felt about this crush and how I dealt with the situation. I really liked her. I enjoyed the flirting. Felt guilty about it. But then I just tried to avoid her and eventually this crush passed. Well my ex didn't want to do that. Tonight they are hanging out at her house. This is KILLINGGGGGG me. She told me she promised to just friend zone everyone....for now. To see if we can salvage what we have left. We left on an argument and I feel like she will want to do things on impulse just to get back at me. She already posted a hashtag on instagram saying "#waitingfor*****". I sort of kept my cool. I really wanted to blow up at her but I already said bye and to text me when he leaves. I feel like not texting her back til morning but I know im not going to be able to sleep. I havent slept or ate well this passed week and have this sick feeling in my stomach. :/
amayana Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 (edited) Look, you both are incredibly young. If I was your age I wouldn't even be in a long-distance relationship. I'm not trying to say that every young couple will necessarily break up later but they often do. You're still taking baby steps when it comes to love and dating and what not. You're still at an age when physical intimacy in a relationship is probably the most interesting and intriguing part and that's perfectly fine. Even I consider myself quite young still, although I'm a bit older than you. Why don't you try to accept that this is how it is and try to move on, have fun, learn new things, travel, get to know new people, flirt with girls like the one you mentioned instead of committing yourself to someone. I know it's easier said than done but the sooner you try to get back on track with your own life the easier it will be to get over her. I don't think either of you should get stuck with each other. If she was your first love it will be incredibly difficult but it's something you might need to face, I know. However, there will always be a second or third love. That's the beauty of it. Don't stay friends right now. You have to try not to contact her or each other. You can be friends again once you feel you're ready. Who knows? Maybe at a later stage when you're both more mature and find each other again, you'll fall in love again but in a different, more adult way. Don't count on it, though. If you think it's too hard, I'm sure the guys in Break Ups forum will love to give you some more advice. Edited February 10, 2013 by amayana
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