BUBS Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Tonight we had a death in the family, my grandmothers sister, and it got my grandmother talking about her own death. She is my best friend and has been really low watching me isolated and depressed these past few months. She explained how she was ready to go and so forth and then she said it, and now I'm spiraling downwards... "I'm not going anywhere till I see you walk down the aisle. I wish you would let me call X and talk to him"... now I'm breaking down. I feel like I've let her down and myself... I feel like I can't fulfill the one thing she is so hopeful for... and now I resent him even more for depriving of her only wish before she dies, the thing he promised her when he asked for permission for my hand in marriage... and I don't know how to stop hating him for this... I don't want to put all of that on him or anyone. It's moments like this where I want to break no contact and f*cking scream at him at the top of my lungs! Is this ever going to f*cking get better?!!!!!
Decisive Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 But he should be there with you - supporting you during this time. And, instead, he is not. Hard as it is, you need to continue doing the good work of NC, continue doing the good work of investing in yourself, being there for your family. And, whether she is around when your walk down the aisle finally occurrs or not, know that someone as special as your grandmother is going to be there with you on that special day - regardless if it's in person, or standing next to the Lord. Believe in yourself. You deserve it. 2
todreaminblue Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Tonight we had a death in the family, my grandmothers sister, and it got my grandmother talking about her own death. She is my best friend and has been really low watching me isolated and depressed these past few months. She explained how she was ready to go and so forth and then she said it, and now I'm spiraling downwards... "I'm not going anywhere till I see you walk down the aisle. I wish you would let me call X and talk to him"... now I'm breaking down. I feel like I've let her down and myself... I feel like I can't fulfill the one thing she is so hopeful for... and now I resent him even more for depriving of her only wish before she dies, the thing he promised her when he asked for permission for my hand in marriage... and I don't know how to stop hating him for this... I don't want to put all of that on him or anyone. It's moments like this where I want to break no contact and f*cking scream at him at the top of my lungs! Is this ever going to f*cking get better?!!!!! The last thing your grandmother would want is to see you walking down the aisle with someone who didn't or would never love you like you should be loved(in other words a time wasting dick for you ),feel happy you are not wasting your life without the opportunity to feel complete love and acceptance from a partner who you feel the same way about. Marriage, like love should be forever and be enduring,and now you got rid of a dick who obviously wasn't right for you, you can heal and find the one who is right for you,if you don't do it by the time your grandmother passes on, then she will see you do it in your life time while she waits for you to join her ......after a life spent with someone who truly loves you you will have relief and joy knowing that you splitting up with the dick, was meant to happen so you could be free to marry the guy who should be with you..don't give true love time restraints, it will be worth the wait.....best wishes.....deb 1
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