calgary Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 just out of curiousity since I don't ever see anybody suggest this anywhere on ls.. if you just broke up with your gf/bf today... it was something you both agreed on at the time.. how would you go about getting their interest back? I know tara maiden will be posting on here with no contact move on, forget her etc (I will I feel stronger today, I still haven't bothered getting in touch with her about dinner/coffee even though she asked me to) but I just wanted peoples opinions as I think it'd be an interesting read.. especially from people who got dumped and managed to win back their ex! even if it failed later along the line as most people have told me it did! thank you... this website is helping me a lot. 1
lovecutsrightthruu Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 (edited) Hi Cav, Sometimes the alpha male thing works in terms of trying to get them back. Hang out as a group, act like you don't care that much either way, spend more time talking to her friends, etc., search the topic on you tube for more ways. NC can also work because they are faced with the cold reality that you are not there any more as a shoulder to lean on...but as the wise Tara Maiden often says that is not the main objective of NC After spending a boatload of time and money, I came close to getting mine back (I get the "I Love you's" and the Sex again) but its just not the same as it was. I can tell she's not in love with me anymore (although she will deny it) and I have to make plans to move on. So even if you get them back, there's no guarantees. Edited February 9, 2013 by lovecutsrightthruu 1
jazze Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Its all depend on why you broke up in the first place. Was it because of an argument and at the heat of the moment, you two broke up or was there a third party involved or was it because the feelings is slowly fading? If there was a third party involved, it is very difficult to get back as the gf/bf has new interest and totally focus on the new relationship. But here the good news, try to just randomly send texts or once in a blue moon calls. You may or may not get a response but not losing contact is one way to open the gateway of a possibility to reconnect.
316 Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Too many unknown variables for us to be able to gauge whether or not you'd be able to get her back or not. We'd need more detail. IMO if an ex still has strong feelings for you post-BU and if you know they aren't truly committed to the BU then you still have a chance... In most scenarios it's a small chance but it's definitely possible. But as soon as you get wind of your ex seeing someone else or if she's adamant about the BU then it's time to pat yourself on the shoulder, say "oh well I tried," and move on.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Sadly, there is no gameplan. If there was, people would be following it. The sure fire plan that works is go NC. Tara says it because it's true. Only way that works. Not what you want to hear but stories like the notebook don't happen. 1
Author calgary Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 Its all depend on why you broke up in the first place. Was it because of an argument and at the heat of the moment, you two broke up or was there a third party involved or was it because the feelings is slowly fading? If there was a third party involved, it is very difficult to get back as the gf/bf has new interest and totally focus on the new relationship. But here the good news, try to just randomly send texts or once in a blue moon calls. You may or may not get a response but not losing contact is one way to open the gateway of a possibility to reconnect. if you want to use my relationship as an example, we were together 18 months.. 5 days after the break up she went out with the intentions of hooking up with a guy she worked with on a works night out drinking.. but he didn't go. she seemed to slowly lose interest in me which was sad.. but it turned out after 3 weeks of no contact she's been really down about life.. she's text me a few times and asked me if i'd like to go for dinner or coffee to talk but she's not really ready for a relationship right now because she doesn't want to drag me down with her apparently... she came to my friends place on Wednesday and I re confirmed she wants to do something next week... I haven't got in touch with her since then and I've been doing fine.. but last night I dreamt I was with her and now I feel like i'm back to square one.
TaraMaiden Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Have you checked out the second chances forum? That's all I'm going to say. I really can't be asked to add more, because truly, calgary I'd be in stuck-record mode with you, wouldn't I? To paraphrase - Ask me once, more fool you - Ask me twice, more fool me..... 1
dreamingoftigers Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Have you checked out the second chances forum? That's all I'm going to say. I really can't be asked to add more, because truly, calgary I'd be in stuck-record mode with you, wouldn't I? To paraphrase - Ask me once, more fool you - Ask me twice, more fool me..... You seem to have a thing for us Westerners TM. Calgary, (weird calling out to my hometown name) No-contact is usually the best way to pull an ex back. Wait until they make the reach for you.
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