BarbecueMan666 Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Hi, It's roughly a month after breakup, and I can quite easily say this has been really really hard thus far. My life revolves around the computer (I play video games for a living) - and social media pages have been so hard to purge from my life. I was doing pretty well recently, until a few days ago everytime I fell asleep, I'd be waking up sweating and panting from vivid nightmares/really pleasant but unwanted dreams. The dreams in which i'd wake up from would consist of my ex with multiple men, in a sexual fashion. Obviously horrible and I'd wake up. The next scenario features me being with the ex, in one way or another, her realizing her mistakes and apologizing etc. This is obviously a phase, and I'm trying to let go. Obviously not looking at anything that reminds me of her is tough given we lived together for a while, and I've stored all her items away, and don't really see anything daily that was hers. I've been getting better emotionally - less pain and such, but the dreams are a new big thing affecting me. This is obviously a phase, and what I'd like are for people to reach out who've had it before to talk with me a little about it.
aussie sam Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that BBQMAN, It sounds quite traumatizing but i think it's quite normal and even healthy to have those dreams. It seems like you have natural possessive thoughts of loosing your ex, Perhaps to other people who are less deserving? I have shared an edited version from my journal of a dream that I had about my ex about a week after our breakup. It was was around the same time that I posted my own thread and wanted to know why she had broken up with me… "We were at the airport and I was there to wish her goodbye before her trip to Germany. We were still together at the start of the dream but she broke up with me when I arrived. There was another guy there who acted like I was some sort of psycho ex who was a friend of one of her exes, also one of her girlfriends was there. I was good about the breakup at first (Reluctantly) but when I found out that she was with this new guy, I snapped and I wrote on her goodbye card that I still loved her and other weird things. He tried to stop me and we fought and then I went away for a bit. She seemed to deal with the tension between the new guy and I by blocking it out and pretending that we both weren't acting the way we were. She had this look on her face which was distant but still trying to have fun. I caught up with them a bit further down the line towards the check in. Apparently the new guy had gone home because it was too much for him. He sent me a threatening text soon after. She had a look on her face like she was still trying to block it all out but that really deep down she felt guilty for what she did and ashamed that she had dumped me for a guy like that. Also a bit frustrated with her luck. A similar look to when she had done hurtful things to me before. I asked if we could take a walk so that she could tell me what happened and why we were broken up. She agreed but all along the way we kept bumping into distractions and people around us that needed our help. Then we finally got away and she was about to tell me the reasons and that's when I woke up." I was able to learn a lot from this dream and that's when I started reaching out on this site and hearing other people's stories and learning more about relationships and breakups. I also think that my dream was spurred on by something that I saw on a movie I watched before bed. My life revolves around the computer (I play video games for a living) - and social media pages have been so hard to purge from my life. I also spend a lot of time on the computer throughout the day but have taken a couple of positive steps that you should try if possible. 1) Plan and limit the amount of time that you spend on those social networking sights. I find myself constantly checking Facebook in the hope of some sort of validation or interaction from someone else to boost me up which is never enough. Even after blocking my ex it still reminds me of her and makes me wonder what she is up to and posting. 2) Do exercise. It makes you feel much better and sleep better at night. Also if your like me and have a lot of extra negative energy it will be used up in this. I have started doing a light yoga workout in my room in the morning and it really helps! It seems like we have more and more in common. I think this is an interesting and helpful thread.
destroyed4sho Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Hi, It's roughly a month after breakup, and I can quite easily say this has been really really hard thus far. My life revolves around the computer (I play video games for a living) - and social media pages have been so hard to purge from my life. I was doing pretty well recently, until a few days ago everytime I fell asleep, I'd be waking up sweating and panting from vivid nightmares/really pleasant but unwanted dreams. The dreams in which i'd wake up from would consist of my ex with multiple men, in a sexual fashion. Obviously horrible and I'd wake up. The next scenario features me being with the ex, in one way or another, her realizing her mistakes and apologizing etc. This is obviously a phase, and I'm trying to let go. Obviously not looking at anything that reminds me of her is tough given we lived together for a while, and I've stored all her items away, and don't really see anything daily that was hers. I've been getting better emotionally - less pain and such, but the dreams are a new big thing affecting me. This is obviously a phase, and what I'd like are for people to reach out who've had it before to talk with me a little about it. I am having dreams as well...its a GOOD thing and you should embrace it. It means you are not thinking about your ex when you are awake and you have mastered blocking thoughts about them so that you can move on. Since you are blocking those emotions they are manifesting in your dreams because your brain needs to purge it somehow.
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